NICOSIA cafés are in the throes of a bum epidemic. Sitting at a corner table with a friend at an excruciatingly non-hip (but pretending to be) joint in one of the café avenues a few weeks ago, I glanced up to see a fleshy forest of crevices and multiple folds of skin and G-strings that three women in their late 30s were displaying to the world. It was then that I knew: this hipster (or low-rise as the Yanks call it) style has gone a bit too far.
On the street, on television, and even in the office, women of all ages and sizes are wearing tight, low-slung, butt-hugging jeans and pants that hit at, or often far below, the hip. The trend isn’t new – it began around 1995 or so – but what is new are the unlovely depths to which the pants have now sunk, as it were.
The crotch-to-waist measurement, or rise, on a standard pair of jeans (the sort we haven’t seen much of since the early ’90s) is somewhere between 10 and 12 inches. Early low-waisters had a rise of about 7 inches. Over the past couple of years, the rise has dipped as low as 3 or 4 inches. Low-rise, it seems, has become synonymous with no-rise. Gas, a Brazilian company, has even created Down2There jeans, which feature a bungee cord that allows the wearer to lower her pants as she sees fit, as though adjusting a set of Venetian blinds.
Usually paired with midriff-baring t-shirts – even tops that aren’t cropped can’t cover the exposed expanse of abdominal flesh – the jeans have redefined our collective understanding of cleavage. Then there’s the visible G-string that, like a bra strap, creates strange fleshy bulges as it strains against the body.
But there are worse bulges yet. These are the love handles that materialise on even the thinnest of women (models and anorexics excepted) because the jeans hit a woman’s body at its fleshiest point, below the hips and just above the buttocks.
Of course, the feminist in me wants to applaud the insouciance with which women of all shapes now flaunt their imperfections, but the aesthete in me tends to object. This is a style that suits only 12-year-olds and celebrities with the luxury of devoting entire afternoons to sculpting their obliques. For the rest of us, wearing these jeans is like entering our hips and buttocks in some humiliating reality show.
I have just one question for all the girls and mature women over 30 who ‘do’ Botox instead of lunch: where the hell are all the fabulous men that you’re obviously trying to attract?
Twentythree…for the 25th.
ART galleries and handicraft shops seem to be popping up everywhere and saturating the market (just like everything else) and are usually owned by bored housewives of rich husbands or anyone who thinks they are ‘arty’(and who has a wealthy daddy to back him/her) has become a ‘designer’ of some sort.
So, it makes a refreshing change to see shops like Twentythree opening up. It’s owned and run by two ‘real’ artists, Sophia Kakoulli who studied Fine Art at Middlesex University, London and Constantinos Evangelides who has been working with wood ever since he learnt to walk. They both have a passion for what they do which shows in their work, and you get your gifts wrapped beautifully with a smile and a cup of coffee (which is rare in the high street).
l Aeschylus 83 Nicosia (opposite the entrance of the Phaneromeni school playground). Tel: 22 761189
Gorgeous handmade cushions (from 6.50) wooden candleholders (from 1.50) mirrors (from 12) and customized furniture to die for…
Well heeled
I HAVE to admit I rarely find shoes here that I like, so the task of walking around all the shoe shops in Nicosia was far from enjoyable. I finally came up with a shop called Migato which had some interesting heels (that won’t break the bank) for Christmas. They are certainly festive looking, anyway…
l Themistokli Dervi Ave. 40 22459986
Khaki round toed high heels £62
Red kitten heels, both £52
