THREE cheers for the small minority of hecklers who booed and jeered Nicos Cleanthous when he was laying a wreath during the non-anti-occupation ceremony for Famagusta, eight days ago. It could not have happened to a nicer guy.
Our establishment would like to congratulate these few dozen brave men and women, who have been condemned by our wise politicians as thugs and hooligans for their meaningful political act, and hope that many others will follow the historic example set in Dherynia when they come across Cleanthous.
The problem on our plantation is that we never heckle our politicians – even though they give us ample justification to boo them – thus allowing them to live under the illusion that we take the puerile nonsense they utter seriously. This was why the DIKO deputy leader spent last week touring the morning radio shows, groaning and grunting like a wounded beast about the Dherynia boo-boys’ shameful and undemocratic behaviour.
It was a surprise Cleanthous did not choke on his rampant self-righteousness, as he gave us endless moral lessons about democratic behaviour and condemned the “political thugs” for persecuting him and “desecrating and blackening an anti-occupation event”. He accused them of being coupists, and claimed that they had been put up to the heckling by DISY, which was hell-bent on dividing the people.
The torrents of abuse against DISY and the boo-boys carried on for days, but it would be an environmental crime to waste newsprint to report everything he said. I think all that really needs to be said about Cleanthous’ ranting is boooooooooooo!
HECKLING and booing has a long tradition in liberal societies, and all the politicians who ran to the defence of the wounded beast should have known that. Cleanthous, as self-appointed professor of correct democratic behaviour, should also have known that, but his ego had received such a blow he could not think straight.
Being the target of hecklers is something that politicians in democracies are accustomed to, unlike in the plantation where everyone grovels and brown-noses them. Here, we revere our worthless politicos treating them as deities, offering them respect, even if we would not hire them as errand boys at our corner-shop.
Having Cleanthous complaining about a few dozen hecklers, who were about as threatening as a flock of sheep on cannabis, and predicting that civil war (he warned that we were returning to the pre-’74 period) was imminent defied belief. If people had been allowed to heckle the politicians in the pre-74 era, civil strife would have been avoided.
In the referendum campaign, ‘yes-voters’ were being intimidated in the streets by Cleanthous’ supporters and he never uttered a word of condemnation. This political bullying was acceptable, because it was for a good cause. When he bullies his political opponents by labelling them agents of foreign interests and associates of Talat, he is making a meaningful contribution to rational political debate, in stark contrast to the boo-boys who are trying to overthrow the government.
THE BOO-BOYS, according to Cleanthous, were behaving in a fascist way, encouraged by DISY which had links with the ’74 coup and whose fuhrer was “worshipping the foreigners who wanted to impose an unacceptable solution on the Cypriot people.” But he is not against all fascists – only those who heckle him.
He expressed respect for the extremist views of the neo-nazi group, Chrysi Avgi (Golden Dawn), which made an appearance at weekend memorial service and chanted anti-Turkish slogans. They are after all vehemently opposed to the A-plan, which makes them good fascists.
Golden Dawn, whose members look like nightclub bouncers, might want to drink Turkish blood, and believe in ethnic purity, but, according to Cleanthous, they “pose no danger”. The danger “is from those (hecklers) behind whom is the leadership of the party (DISY) that reported Cyprus” to the EU.
You only have to hear Cleanthous talk for a couple of minutes (any longer and you feel like booing) to realise that Golden Dawn’s theory about the racial superiority of Greeks is complete crap. In fact you do not even have to listen to him talk.
WE SHOULD not be too harsh on the deputy leader, for being unable to handle a little heckling in a mature and grown up way. His leader, Ethnarch Tassos, is also incapable of responding in a civilised way to criticism of his decisions and actions. Is it insecurity or excessive arrogance that makes him want respond to everything said about him?
He behaves like the most competitive kid in the class who is on a mission to prove that he is cleverer and better than everyone else; he always has to come out on top and have the last word. And he will do and say anything in pursuit of this goal.
So it was inevitable that he had to put down the Dherynia hecklers who had also booed at the mention of his name. The following day, he said: “It happens that 76 per cent of the people disagree with them (supporters of the Annan plan), unless they want to transform an anti-occupation event into an event just for nenekides.”
‘Nenekides’ has a double meaning – it refers to those who voted ‘nai’ in the referendum, but in Greek history it refers to a Greek revolution chieftain, Demetris Nenekos who betrayed the cause by putting himself and his warriors at the service of Ibrahim’s army, in exchange for money, horses, land and a title. His warriors, who had subjugated themselves to Ibrahim, were known as ‘nenekides’.
By using the term, the Ethnarch showed the utter contempt he has for those who voted ‘nai’. He considers a quarter of the population as turncoats, but at the same time his henchman Cleanthous is lamenting the lack of unity and blaming DISY for dividing the people. He should not worry, because soon the one-Tassos state will be declared, the hecklers who pose a danger will be thrown into prison and unity will be cemented.
THE FUNNY thing is that after Tassos has opened his big mouth, and satisfied his urge to prove that he is cleverest guy on earth, his verbally challenged spokesman, Cyprus Goldenmouth, tried, in vain, to limit the damage, by resort to some very imaginative interpretation of what was said.
Regarding the ‘nenekides’, Cyprus said: “The president, with his reference to the nenekides, wanted to castigate the hot-heads on both sides.” It takes a lot of imagination and artistic freedom to suggest that Tassos was castigating the hot-heads on both sides by referring exclusively to the ‘nenekides’. After 18 months in the job, Cyprus has been given another job-title, presidential mind-reader.
THE HECKLING ‘nenekides’, are not only prepared to kneel in front of the Turks, but they are also ready to undertake subversive action on their behalf according to our secret services. As the semi-official government mouthpiece Phil reported on Tuesday, the cops had decided to step up the Ethnarch’s security, particularly when he is being driven to places.
The authoritative Phil said the cops had taken into account the “political tension of the last few days and cracks in the home front which culminated in the heckling against the president at the event organised in Dherynia”. They were also concerned about the possibility of acts of provocation being committed, especially after the re-appearance of the Golden Dawn neo-Nazis. The “verbal attacks against the president” in the last few days had played an important part in the decision of the security chiefs.
Mr Cyprus issued a mild denial of the story the following day, saying he did not think there was “particular stepping-up of the president’s security”. However, Phil insisted that the head of the presidential guard had requested additional security for Tassos’ movements, and the police command had assigned MMAD-men to do the job.
The cowardly ‘nenekides’, who are ready to surrender to the Turks at the drop of a fez, have overnight become potential suicide bombers and assassins because they shouted some mild abuse against the Ethnarch and his henchman last weekend.
Cleanthous was right about the turning back of the clock, but he was wrong about the period. We have not returned to pre-1974, but to the paranoid, post-1978 era when the unforgettable Spy Kyp was uncovering imaginary conspiracies to destabilise the state and plots against his life with carefree abandon.
Ironically, “the brain” behind the big conspiracy of 1978, was named by Kyp as Tassos Papadopoulos, the target of today’s farcical conspiracies, the brain behind which is not a nenekis, but the spirit of Spy Kyp.
REMEMBER how a few days before the referendum, the then Minister of Communications, Kikis Kazamias, resigned because he disagreed with the negative stance taken by Papa-Dop on the A-plan. At the time, everyone was praising the AKEL appointee to high heaven for taking a stand on principle and waxing lyrical about his political sensitivity.
Three-and-half months later, Kazamias forgot his principles and like a ‘nenekis’ went and swore his allegiance to Ibrahim. Tassos, in a surprise move, appointed the principled one as the plantation’s representative to the EU Court of Auditors, a highly-paid job with perks galore. Was there nobody from the Ochi camp who could have done this job?
How could the unforgiving Tassos given such a sought-after post to a man who had quit the government at most critical time? One theory is that Tassos’ most trusted minister, George Lillikas, another renowned man of principle, arranged the appointment because he is a close friend and former business associate of Kazamias. After arranging jobs and contracts for members of his family, Lillikas is now concentrating on sorting out jobs for his friends.
The other theory is that the appointment had more to do with political tactics than friendship. By banishing Kazamias to Europe, Tassos hopes to weaken the support for the A-plan within AKEL. A staunch ‘nenekis’, Kazamias is a well-respected and influential member of the AKEL leadership who would have campaigned for a change of stance by the party on the A-plan.
I HEAR that the former Nicosia mayor, Lellos Demetriades, is tormented with guilt and remorse for designating the zany Zampelas as his successor and campaigning for his election. Reports that he is contemplating suicide are greatly exaggerated, but he is certainly not a happy bunny, increasingly feeling like Dr Frankenstein.
Last Sunday, we had reported that Zampelas had arranged for one of his biggest critics, AKEL councillor Koullourouthkias to go to Athens and look after the Nicosia municipality’s stalls, set up for the Olympics, as a way of bringing him on side. We were wrong. Koullourouthkias is just one of seven councillors going to Athens for an all expenses paid holiday during the Olympics.
The cost for the stay in Athens of councillors and municipal employees will be 200 grand but according to Zampelas this will be covered by the sponsors, which include banks, construction companies, accounting firms and the CTO. Had the sponsors known that most of the money they had given Zampelas would have gone on the hotel bills and living expenses of municipal councillors holidaying in Athens, they may not have been so generous.
They thought they were paying to promote the plantation rather than helping Zampelas win over critical councillors by offering junkets for the Olympics.
OUR MOLE at Nicosia Municipality informs us that the mayor is concerned about the exorbitant amounts of money spent on foreign travel, much of which is unnecessary. The bad example has been set by Lellos’ monster, who travels abroad more frequently than the foreign minister and always stops over in London for tea with Ken Livingstone.
Seeing that the mayor is never in Nicosia, the councillors are now finding cheap excuses to travel abroad on municipality business as well. Zampelas could hardly raise objections to these meaningless trips, when he is abroad four days a week. In fact, he approves all of them so as to minimise any criticism about his own travelling.
The problem now is that the municipality has run out of travel money and there are still four months to go before the end of the year. What happens now? Will Nicosia’s foreign minister limit his travelling or will he increase the fines imposed on street sellers using the pavements so he can continue his jet-setting lifestyle.
A COUPLE of weeks ago, this paper reported that directors of the Central Bank are among the best paid people in the plantation. We are reliably informed that this is not the case and that Central Bank directors are in fact among the worst paid. Their fees are in the region of a grand a year, which is peanuts compared to the 10 grand received by directors of the Bank of Cyprus. Why do we mention this, given that it was not our column that had made the claim in the first place? As a special favour to a closet nenekis from Famagusta who booed Cleanthous in Dherynia.
THE SECOND best story of the silly season – after the threat to the life of the Ethnarch from the nenekis – was the Phil’s front-page revelation about the threat to children by lighters that look like toys. The lighters, which are just like kids’ toys, were deemed “extremely dangerous” as they could “cause burns to children who played with them.” These lighters were also a dangerous for adults, as they had no sign informing users from where the flame came out.
The following day, there was another front-page report about the lighters, quoting an official from the commerce ministry’s Consumer Protection Service as saying that they were very dangerous. The official said that the service had received “no complaints about serious cases” but “considered it unlikely that some people who had used them had not suffered burns.” He did admit that some ministry officials who tried to use them burnt themselves.
If the paper dealt with objective facts instead of mindless alarmism it would have reported that the lighters are “extremely dangerous” to civil servants as they were the only people who burned themselves because they could not figure out from where the flame came out. As for myself, I cannot figure out if Phil targets all low IQ individuals for its reade
