I AM a former heroin addict. I am not going to use a pseudonym to protect my identity, nor am I ashamed of my past. My name is Alexi David, I am 26 years old, I live in the old section of Nicosia and I am a jazz musician/composer. I’m writing because I’m constantly appalled by what I see and hear in the media concerning drug abuse, and the methods suggested and implemented in order to eradicate it. It is rare for me to read an article that addresses the true problems inherent with stopping drug abuse.
As a preface, I was originally planning to rant about governments, the police, legalisation of drugs, but instead I will cut right to the main issue on my mind. I will let everyone in on a little secret. It’s the best method to stop drug abuse. And it has nothing to do with drug laws, the police, governments, doctors in Israel, and the psychiatrists who think that the way to cure an addict is by giving him other drugs to be addicted to – especially here in Cyprus (it occurred to me many times and only made me worse). What I am about to mention is only rarely mentioned, and usually only as a footnote in the media. The focus must shift.
Parents of young children, please pay attention.
Almost all addicts will trace their addiction back to their upbringing, to their family situations (for those that actually had parents around), to the amount of love they received from their parents, and how society treated them. It certainly was true for me.
Let me ask you: do you talk with your children or do you talk at them? Do you give them hugs and kisses or do you emotionally, physically and/or sexually abuse them? Do you listen to them when they show no interest in school, or do you shout at them and punish them? Do you try to help them be better persons, or do you constantly put them down and tell them they’re worthless? Do you demand that they respect you, or have you actually earned their respect through your own actions? Do you set a good example for them by your own actions, or do you tell them constantly to do things that you yourself cannot and do not want to do? Do you constantly give them money and ‘things’ instead of love, understanding, compassion and acceptance?
All children are the sum of the characters of those who raised them. Kids imitate what they see around them till the age of five, and after that, it’s over – their basic characteristics have been formulated and whatever changes or is added over the decades is minimal. Your actions are responsible for their welfare. No child is born an addict, nor are their friends and local drug dealers at fault. No drug addict ever became one because of “curiosity” or for “fun”. Drug users do it for fun (that includes all of you who use one of the most lethal drugs, alcohol.) Drug addicts are human beings with a chronic incurable illness that must be fought until the day they die.
So the next time your child has a problem, try to listen to the child, don’t just sit there and tell what to do or put them down. And if the child can’t talk to you, take them to someone who will be able to open them up, such as a trusted friend or a specialised psychologist. You might just save their life.
P.S. The next time you have an urge to waste your money on useless material objects, give it to the Ayia Skepi Therapeutic Community here in Cyprus. Were it not for them, I’d be dead now.
