When a man comes too close, it’s no good turning to jelly. Keep your cool and you can be on top of the situation within minutes
WE WERE a group of young women celebrating a friend’s promotion in a pleasant inner-city restaurant. It was early evening and the bar area was occupied by an elegant young couple and a single man, about 30, large and well dressed. There was something in his manner that caught our attention and we watched him try and engage the couple in conversation, they ignored him but he persisted. He left his stool and stood behind them, it was clear that he was drunk. He pushed the young man off his stool and placing his right hand on the woman’s shoulder bent to whisper in her ear. The woman, who was smoking, appeared quite calm but as he moved his head away she rammed her cigarette into his nostril. He screamed, clutching at his nose, the woman smiled. We all applauded.
The incident was over in minutes but we spent the rest of the evening reflecting on the woman’s cool courage. Her response had been so swift, dramatic and punishing. My friends revealed situations where they wished they could have re-acted in the same way but had only finished up bruised, humiliated or worse. They took it for granted that a woman would always lose in a physical contest with a man. While some of the company thought it might have been a lucky reflex action, others were convinced that she knew exactly what she was doing, and I agreed.
The man had made some basic errors: he had alerted her to his belligerent nature, he used violence on the young man assuming that any challenge would come from him, and then he invaded the woman’s defensive space believing he was safe from retaliation, which proved to be a serious mistake. He then offered her a choice of vulnerable targets: his eyes and nose. Judging by the speed of her action she may actually have chosen to incapacitate rather than blind him, which she could have done.
A basic rule of self defence is that you use whatever is handy. In her case it was a choice between a heavy ashtray, a glass or a cigarette. The ashtray could have been used to strike him in the mouth but it required two movements and he could have avoided the blow. The glass smashed on the upper face could inflict serious injury but would have exposed her to a criminal charge and to possible personal injury, you can never be sure how the glass will break. The cigarette was the perfect weapon; it inflicted excruciating pain, it required no force and it neutralised and humiliated the opponent.
The thing that really impressed my friends was her calmness. They claimed that in a similar position they would go to jelly and be rendered useless. The answer is control. When most people are attacked or threatened, and men are not excluded from this, they experience a number of rapid bodily changes. The heart rate increases, breathing becomes shallow, the adrenals flood, sometimes immobilising the victim, the throat constricts and the sweat glands respond – this is the usual condition of someone who does not live on the threshold of violence.
So how can women defend themselves when attacked?
There is little doubt that the best response when threatened is screaming flight, but when this is not possible being armed with a few basic moves can make a woman feel relatively secure, providing she remains calm and in control (the key to this is diaphragm breathing).
Always remember a man is stronger so never engage him in a feat of strength. You must employ maximum force against his weakest points. For example, if you grasp a finger in two hands and bend it, this will be sufficient force to break or dislocate it. This must be done in a swift downward movement, and if you bring your knee up at the same time you may break his jaw as well.
Your weapons are your head, teeth, hands, thumbs, fingers and knees. Your target is the vulnerable line that runs vertically from the groin to the bridge of the nose, deviating slightly to include the eyes and the testes.
The form of defence I propose is necessarily violent so be prepared for the consequences. It is not designed to detain an assailant until help arrives, or merely to make him wince. Temporary disablement is the object and severe pain the method. The combat will be at close quarters.
Men think nothing of invading your space and you will let them in but make the space untenable; bring the forehead down in a rapid strike on the nose, his head will go down,when it does, smash the knee into the same spot. There will be a lot of blood, don’t offer him your handkerchief.
The most obvious point of attack on the head is the eyes, push your thumb into the nasal corner of the socket and at the same time grasp the testicles with your free hand and give a sharp tug. Very few men appreciate this and you will have decked your first man. The pressure on the eye will drive him backwards, but the clutch on the testicles will cause him to advance; collapse of hairy chest. A sharp blow to the testicles will sometime render a man unconscious. If you are fortunate enough to knock down your man, always remember to stamp, never kick, on any available vulnerable spot; the eyes, nose, mouth, larynx, solar plexus, testicles and the inside of the knee.
A famous Greek once said “all combat comes down to head squeezing”. If anyone tries to put you in a headlock, reach up to his face with an open hand and jab the middle finger into the eye-socket while grasping the back of his thigh and lifting. The leg will come up and he will go down releasing his grip, follow him down and drive the finger through the socket then pull it out quickly, this will send both eyes into shock and may dislodge the eye.
A particularly weak spot on a man is the larynx, a very sharp blow will paralyse, a very firm blow may kill. The larynx is very prominent in man and an easy target, a crack across it with the back of the hand will drop him and once down, usual procedure.
Do not forget the teeth. In the unfortunate situation where a man has got so close that you can feel his breath, he has come within range of your teeth. Bite hard on the base of the nose or top lip. This area is full of nerve-endings and pain is severe, it would be a rare man that could continue after this treatment.
At all times try to avoid danger and most of this is common sense, but if it arises, oppose it with extreme violence.
l Alexandra Sparta is a former teacher of self-defence to women
