YOU COULD not help admiring the way the government and the alliance parrots tried to present the DISY decision to stop taking part in the farcical meetings of the National Council as a national tragedy that would bitterly divide out society and weaken our Ethnarch’s position as he takes on the foreign forces of evil.
Nobody could ever accuse this government of having a sense of measure and perspective. And since the celebrated political opportunist Giorgos Lillikas, who has an excessively high regard for his abilities to manipulate public opinion, took over the job of Government Spokesman the line separating myth and reality has become invisible.
The spokesman took on the role of government mourner on Tuesday, as he engaged in a grief-stricken rant about DISY’s departure, which was labelled by one skettos-drinker as ‘The Lillikas Lament’. All that was missing was some funereal background music and a few tears as Lillkas adopted the sorrowful tone of someone who had just lost a dear grandfather in a cheap Mexican melodrama.
Such is the spokesman’s belief in his powers of persuasion that he thought he could sell the myth that he was “sad and disappointed” about the departure of DISY – which he regularly accuses of promoting foreign interests – from an advisory body that meets once every five months and is taken seriously by nobody and least of all by the Ethnarch, whom it is supposed to advise.
The government myth-maker informed us in his lament that the Ethnarch “respects the institution of the National Council absolutely and has proved this practically many times”. This absolute respect does not extend to the members of this great institution, whom the Ethnarch has never informed about his strategy, tactics and objectives on the national problem, because he does not trust them to keep their mouths shut.
Perhaps we should not be too harsh on the spokesman because grief-stricken people talk a lot of nonsense. After all DISY had dealt a big blow to a “pole of unity, a symbol of unity”. How a forum in which politicians always bicker and are afraid to express their opinions in case their views are used against them in public can be a pole of unity only Giorgos can tell us, but we’ll wait for him to recover from his grieving period.
DISY’S DEPARTURE, according to Giorgos, “creates an unhelpful crisis, unhelpful political tension, which we are afraid will create conditions of fanaticism that could only cause harm to our case”. Listening to the Papadop government express fears of conditions of fanaticism being created is a bit like the Ayatollahs of Iran warning of the danger of an outbreak of Islamic fundamentalism.
In the same lament (there was a Lillikas Lament part 2 the following day), the spokesman also raised the possibility that the decision was part of a conspiracy. “We wonder why the decision was taken at this specific moment in time, sending the message, both at home and abroad, a message of division, a message that certainly does not strengthen the negotiating position of the President of the Republic.”
The implication, as usual, is that DISY is behaving unpatriotically. But why does the government want unpatriotic DISY-men, who sound like Turks when they talk, sitting in the National Council, poisoning the atmosphere? It should be celebrating that the foreign agents would no longer be spying on the patriotic politicians.
And who is the president going to be negotiating with that he needs his position strengthened? Even in the highly unlikely event that he was at negotiations, would he not be able to demand the return of all refugees to their homes because DISY is now not participating in our symbol of disunity. Or is Kofi Annan going to tell Tassos at their Tuesday meeting, “I cannot undertake a new initiative, because DISY has left the National Council.”
THE CHEERLEADERS of the government took turns to take swipes at DISY’s deadly blow to unity, but Nik Koutsou of the European Party went for a personal attack against the DISY Führer. “Perhaps the consumption of whisky at National Council meetings should be prohibited so we do not have problems with Mr Anastassiades,” Koutsou suggested on a morning radio show.
Koutsou’s charismatic leader, Demetris Syllouris, referred to Nik’s “biological need” for an afternoon siesta, although he stopped short of attributing this need to excessive consumption of whisky. Nik was reportedly feeling drowsy at the last National Council meeting, which had dragged on for five hours, and had proposed that Tassos called a close.
The führer has our establishment’s full sympathy and support. Any normal person would need a few drinks to be able to subject himself to the thoughts on the Cyprob of Yiannakis Omirou, Nikos Koutsou and Giorgos Perdikis, with each needing 50 minutes to expound them. I wonder if whisky is strong enough to help you cope with such soul-destroying boredom.
And what normal person would not start to fall asleep being subjected to the incoherent rantings of an apprentice windbag like Omirou? Most people feel drowsy after listening to him make a 20-second statement on TV. And what can you say about the impact of 50 minutes of Koutsou’s shrill voice – not even horse tranquillisers could dull the pain from that.
Nik we are with you. Keep walking.
GOOD OLD Nik must have had his afternoon siesta on Tuesday because he was in nasty form when he was interviewed by Emilia Kenevezou, the daughter of the Ethnarch’s koumbaros, on her CyBC TV show. And he inadvertently rubbed la Kenevezou up the wrong way when he spoke about rusfeti and how Tassos was appointing his koumbarous here and there. Complete silence descended on the studio after this jibe. A rather shaken Emilia then composed herself and asked – “what do you mean?” Like a naughty schoolboy Nik fidgeted in his chair, straightened his jacket and uttered some platitudes. He had obviously realised that his throwaway remark was a bit too close to home. Emilia’s dad was appointed by his koumbaros on the Public Service Commission. Nik we are with you. Keep walking.
DURING the interview, Nik also had a go at the CyBC, which he claimed was a government propaganda tool. Again he angered the interviewer, but his claim also elicited a response from the corporation’s chairman Andreas Aloneftis, who embraces the same personal principles as Lillikas.
Aloneftis spoke disparagingly about Nik, claiming that his outburst was an attempt to intimidate the corporation, which was impartial and treated all politicians equally, unless you happen to be the Government Spokesman, in which case you are treated a bit more equally than others.
The day before, CyBC radio altered its programme schedule so that it could broadcast live Lillikas’ Lament (part one) immediately after Nik had announced his party’s decision to quit the Whisky Council. And on that night the CyBC’s main evening news reported the Lament before the statement which had provoked it, which is a bit unorthodox. Worse still, was the CyBC news item the next day, which said “Tayyip Erdogan reacts angrily to the threat of a Cyprus veto by Giorgos Lillikas.”
Is it Lillikas who is going to veto Turkey’s accession talks, or is the Aloneftis helping his soul mate build up his profile as a fearless enemy of the Turks? Or has the colossally ambitious Lillikas decided that now that he is spokesman he could use the corporation to advertise his bravery towards the Turks, by claiming ownership of the veto option.
CYPRUS-FLAGGED ship, Abel F, was not allowed to dock in Mersin, Turkey on Wednesday, allowing our government to inform the European Commission that the Turks were not honouring their signature of the Customs Protocol and allowing Cyprus ships to use its ports. There is little doubt that the government set up this incident. No ship-owning company would waste money sending
containers to Turkey on a Cyprus-flagged ship when it knew there was no chance the Turks would allow it to dock and unload its cargo.
In Greece, it is being said that the incident was not intended to expose Turkey – the Turks never said they would allow Cyprus-flagged ships into their ports. It was aimed at forcing Greece’s dovish new Foreign Minister Dora Bakoyianni to follow the confrontational policy towards Turkey that Tassos has chosen. The government in Nicosia had tried in vain to block the appointment of Dora, so it is now trying to dictate the foreign policy she should follow. This was why the Greek government had not been informed about the ship scheme and found out about it from the news.
The hope is that this Turkish behaviour would force Dora, who has made the improvement of Greece-Turkey relations one of her main foreign policy priorities, to take a more Tassian approach to Ankara.
CAN WE believe anything our Ethnarch tells us? About 12 days ago, when the CyTA-LTV deal was first reported, he was asked by TV hacks whether he knew anything about this deal and he categorically denied that he did. He went a step further to say that he was unhappy that the government had not been informed about such an important policy decision involving over a hundred million pounds.
Interviewed on the same day on television, his Communications Minister said that he had been aware of the negotiations between CyTA and LTV. On Tuesday, Phileftheros reported that the Ethnarch had two successive meetings with the CyTA top brass on February 9, at which the deal with LTV had been discussed. This five days before Tassos had denied knowing anything about the deal. On Wednesday, after the Phil report, Tassos told hacks that “he may have been informed about the CyTA-LTV deal” at one of his regular meetings with CyTA representatives. This was a deal worth £165 million, and five days later he had forgotten all about it.
But he may also have been informed from another quarter – the Tassos Papadopoulos Law Office, which was representing LTV in the negotiations. Did his son and heir not inform daddy about what was going on at the office? And is there any similarity with the Cherie Blair case here? The President’s son helping CyTA shaft the private TV stations and wipe out any competition in the broad-band service sector?
SPEAKING of the son and heir of the Ethnarch, the palazzo is pulling out all the stops to help Nicholas get elected a DIKO deputy in the forthcoming parliamentary elections. In fact, one potential candidate, Giorgos Colocassides, was asked by the Ethnarch not to stand for DIKO in Nicosia because he could take votes from junior. Colocassides, being a member of the Nicosia haute bourgeoisie, would attract the votes of Nicosia high society, thus reducing the crown prince’s chances of election. Mrs Colocassides has been complaining in the salons of Nicosia about the sacrifice her husband has been asked to make, but nobody is listening. I am sure his sacrifice for the good of the country will be rewarded by an appointment to high profile post in the not too distant future.
EARLIER this week I wanted to find someone’s telephone number and dialed 192. I knew that the number had changed but I was sure there would be recorded message telling me the number for directory enquiries. The message was a CyTA masterpiece. It said: “Directory enquiry services are now provided via five-digit numbers, beginning with 118.”
I waited for a few seconds to hear what the new number was, but all I got was the same message. Had CyTA decided to play practical jokes on subscribers or was I expected try all the numbers, starting from 11801 until someone answered? I called a friend who works for the authority and asked what the hell was going on?
He explained that the Telecommunications Commissioner had ruled that when people dialed 192, CyTA had an obligation to give all the 118 numbers which answered telephone directory enquiries. “Rather than advertise our competitors we decided not to give any of the directory services numbers,” my friend told me. Only in Cyprus could a company behave in such a helpful way to its subscribers.
