Birmingham’s National Treasure
On the island recently to take part in a celebrity golf tournament, Jasper Carrott, as ever, knew how to turn on both the charm and the laughs
For the record, British comedian Jasper Carrott is a very pleasant, intelligent and, of course, funny-man. He looks like an extra from the Lord of the Rings movie, with the most mobile face of anyone I’ve met. Putting his expressions into repose mode he looks entirely normal, but, when he tells a joke or starts to describe one of his many and coloured experiences, that face of his just moves like India rubber and you can’t help smile by just looking at him.
He agreed to talk to me about his passion for golf and, hopefully, to lift the lid on the highly publicised rumour that he had indulged in a serious snogging session with Condoleezza Rice.
One of Britain’s National Treasures, Carrott is the only man who admits to being “world famous in Birmingham” and who, for the past three decades, has never failed to entertain with one man TV specials and popular sell-out stage shows.
I started by asking him if, after all this time treading the boards was the job of being funny getting harder, and if the level of material was still out there to stimulate his wry, observational and often piercing sense of humour.
“It’s not easy, and I sometimes have to take time out, to take stock of what and where I am going, I’m always looking for new ways of expressing myself and that’s sometimes a risk for a performer like myself who is classed mainly as a stand up comedian, but, I relish challenges and I suppose that’s why I also play golf”.
He was in Cyprus recently to help support the launch of the annual Thomas Cook and the Variety Club charity golf competition. So why is it that almost all entertainers and especially ‘professional funny men’ are so attracted to the game? Was it in any way amusing or was it just the pink, diamond-patterned jumpers and yellow shorts that got all the laughs? “I’ve never been heavily into the ‘couture ‘ side of the game, I just enjoy playing for the game’s sheer charm, something that I find other sports just don’t offer.
“I’m also fascinated by the language used, birdie, eagle, bogey. Then there’s the almost unique honour system that exists. Nowadays with most sports it’s all about money and winning at any cost, that’s not really part of the game of golf, but it is a game that certainly shows the true character of a player, it tests you in so many different ways”.
In his professional career, Carrott is a man who has never ever stopped testing himself, having gone far beyond the role of guaranteed laugh master. He has, to his credit, pushed his career envelope to include straight acting roles when in 2001 he played the stepfather of an Asian boy with cerebral palsy in the BBC’s groundbreaking series reflecting the life of a disabled teenager. His live TV series Carrotts Lib won him a BAFTA award, then he appeared in the stage play The Nerd, a movie role followed with a part in the film Jane and the Lost City.
He has played in Gilbert and Sullivan productions for the D’Olly Carte company and has the unique claim to fame of having the longest run for a comedian – performing on fourteen consecutive nights when he performed in his home town of Birmingham to over 70,000 fans.
He has two gold albums, four silver discs, and has sold over 1.5 million books.
An astute businessman, he holds shares in the company which makes Who wants to be a Millionaire, so he isn’t exactly short of a few bob or two.
Many will also remember his first single, the A side was called ‘Funky Moped’ sung in a thick exaggerated Brummie accent while on the B side we were treated to The Magic Roundabout song. This was a classic p**s take on a much loved children’s TV programme, which had the classic line ‘p**s off’, said Dylan, and Dougal did so – all over Florence. In 1975 the BBC didn’t approve of the taking of such liberties and banned the playing of the record, which helped the song romp up the charts earning Carrott a silver disc.
So, as a comedian is it possible to rail against a situation being treated ever so seriously by everybody? “That’s an important element and the judging of when and how to use it is important but yes, its sort of goes with the job to try and see the obvious and hopefully amusing side to life. The Swiss, for example, have a much more potent deterrent than any nuclear bomb, if anyone ever thought they might invade their country, all the Swiss have to do is threaten to burn all their money”.
And the Condoleezza Rice scandal? This was a wonderful April Fools joke set up by a national newspaper in the UK, which reported that Birmingham was being twinned with the same town in Alabama and had led to a liaison between Carrott and Rice, who he then went on to describe as being “a ferocious kisser”.
Jasper Carrott has that killer combination of intelligence, talent, absolute confidence in what he is, plus that all important ability to make women (and men) laugh, which perhaps to his surprise makes him a bit of retro sex symbol. That’s why, for the first time in my life I asked someone for their autograph, but it wasn’t really for me, it was at the direct request of our Birmingham-born editor who has long succumbed to this lovely man’s charms.
