Batty about blondes

So the truth that we, East European blondes, have known all along is now out there. It has been established by Cypriot academics and announced in the local press that we, women from the third world, ie East Europe, are more beautiful, more intelligent and better in bed than our Cypriot counterparts. According to the research by dr Dino Domic (the name sounds Slavic to me!), our every-aspect Slavic female supremacy is proved by many factors. To start with, we are not hairy and don’t have moustache. Secondly, we can talk about other subjects than Dolce & Gabbana handbags and Gucci scarves, thirdly we are sexually more innovative. Fourthly our mothers in most cases don’t live in Cyprus, and fifthly we appreciate the bread that our generous Cypriot husbands feed us with.

Wow, I am speechless, isn’t it really great?
Just to see if I fit the profile I will go through the list again.
So firstly: yes, I am not hairy but no, I have a moustache, although it is hard to notice since it is blonde. Secondly, yes, I can talk about other things than Dolce & Gabbana handbags but the problem is I am not able to talk about the handbags. Also although I don’t like Gucci scarves, I know some great Japanese designers whose scarves are more expensive than Gucci’s. Thirdly, well, I can’t really use the space here for advertising myself! Fourthly, yes again! My mother indeed doesn’t live here but she is still alive and in Poland so marrying me would create additional expenses for any Cypriot man, namely at least once a year, and preferably twice, a return ticket to Warsaw. Fifthly hmmm, I must admit I have never been fed with bread while in Cyprus. I have been given good meze, fish, oysters, champagne… but never just the bread. There is also an additional problem: yes, I am a blonde right now but it is a fake. As a matter of fact I became a blonde about two weeks ago just on order to be able to tell some silly blondes’ jokes and not to feel apologetic about it (I do it once a year for this exact reason). Plus, I am not from one of the most attractive countries producing the Cypriot foreign brides, but well, with all the other points more or less there who cares?

Now, that I have established that I match the profile I think I should check the next thing ie do Cypriot men match the profile as well.
So here we go again.

Firstly, I am afraid they are actually quite hairy but I have always heard that it is a plus in case of a man. Secondly, I don’t think they talk about Dolce & Gabbana handbags but, I am afraid, a lot of them talk obsessively about some other designer stuff like their latest mobiles or cars or i-pods. Also, a significant number of men that I know talk to me obsessively about the necessity of me getting rid of my cats so they can come around to my house to check my innovative sexual techniques. Sometimes actually I have an impression they have nothing else to say. Fourthly, unfortunately, mothers of majority of Cypriot men live in Cyprus and as far as I know the men are as pathologically attached to them as Cypriot women to their mums. And finally fifthly, do they really feed their women with bread? I would say it is rather a souvla or sheftalia or something like that so no, the fifth one I don’t agree with at all anyway.
Now, to be honest, the point that I really want to make is that while I have always understood why Cypriot men marry eastern European women, I just can’t get it why the Eastern European women marry Cypriot men. The only explanation I can offer is that most likely the marriages work thanks to the intelligence and flexibility of the Slavic beauties. Most likely, it is like in this joke about the ideal marriage:
Just a day after the wedding, the husband tells his wife before going to work: “Darling, I just want to tell you that as for my habits I am really not demanding. The only thing that I would like to insist upon is something that I have grown accustomed to when I lived with my mum. No matter whether I am back home for lunch and dinner, I would like you to make one for me and keep it on the table at certain exact hours, just in case.”

The wife smiles and answers: “Of course darling, this is not going to be a problem at all. As for me, I also have one request. You see, every night I would like to have sex, regardless of whether you are back home or not.”