I WAS VERY disappointed with the low-key reaction by our media, government, party chiefs, Church leaders, business establishment, union bosses, barbers and taxi drivers after last Sunday’s revelations about the heinous conspiracy to overthrow our Ethnarch.
This was the biggest conspiracy against the Republic’s president since the early ’80s when Captain Nemo threatened to release toxic gases into our atmosphere, yet the reaction was unbelievably subdued and short-lived. The bash-patriots and volunteer victims of foreign plots merely went through the motions, uttering the obligatory condemnations for a couple of days and then completely forgot about it.
And this was no ordinary conspiracy. ‘The brain’, according to one of the two Athens papers that made the revelations, was Greece’s most reviled politician, Constantine Mitsotakis, who just happens to be the father of the country’s foreign minister Dora Bakoyanni. Mitsotakis was reportedly supported in his hostile plotting by former PM Simitis and former president Stephanopoulos.
With such high-profile conspirators and such a vile plot – to have the most fearless defender of the Republic deposed so that they can impose the Satanic Plan, version 666 on us – surely we had an obligation to respond with more passion and rage when the news was out. There was no dramatic over-reaction, public hysteria or beating of breasts about Mitsotakis’ latest act of treachery.
The Fuhrer’s daily statement about the Cyprob provokes more knee-jerk reactions and passionate anger from the government camp. What is happening? Could we, as a society, be suffering from conspiracy-fatigue, worn out and resigned to the reality that the primary objective of foreigners, including Greeks, is to plan conspiracies against our Republic and our heroic presidents?
CONSPIRACY fatigue is one explanation, because in our Ethnarch’s three years in office there have been more foreign conspiracies than there were in the late Spy’s 10-year reign.
We have lost count of the conspiracies under Tassos. First there was the A-plan, which was a UN-US-UK plot to help the Turks; there was the plot to impose the plan through local agents on the payroll of the US. Then there are weekly plots by the British delegates to the EU.
Admittedly, under Spy conspiracies had a more epic quality and a more sinister nature – the Big Conspiracy of 1978, featuring tanks in Troodos, a leading German politician, deportations, a football coach, a cabaret artiste and a brain, remains a classic of the genre – whereas under Tassos these are more frequent but much less spectacular.
And when you think of Captain Nemo and the toxic gases, you realise how much more thought and attention to detail went into preparing them in the old days. Spy, who had a sense of the theatrical, was such a perfectionist he ensured that the reaction was dramatic enough to make the conspiracy more plausible.
He had no problem taking the lead himself, holding press conferences, sending defiant public messages to the conspirators and coming up with great sound-bites. Who can forget his rhetorical question, during the Great Brain conspiracy, which will be celebrating its 28th anniversary this month? It is as relevant today as it was then. “Why must Cyprus always be the victim of conspiracies?” Why indeed.
COMPARE this sense of drama with the vapid reaction of the current government to the Mits conspiracy? When you have a passionless automaton like Christodoulos Pashiardis as your government spokesman, whose drab, monotone delivery deadens everything he talks about, how can you make a conspiracy come alive in people imaginations?
But we should not put all the blame on the hapless Pashiardis, who came up with a quite brilliant quote in an effort to give some credibility to the Mits conspiracy. “There is no evidence or proof that denies it [the plot]” he said with great earnestness, ignoring the fact that there was no evidence or proof that supported it either. That the brain behind the conspiracy, Mits issued a categorical denial, did not count, because even if the allegations were true he would never confirm them.
Press reports suggested that the information about the conspiracy was handed to Greek newspapers by the communications advisor of the Cyprus embassy in Athens Anthos Lickavgis. There were two objectives – first and foremost, to boost the heroic profile of the Ethnarch as the fearless guardian of the Republic and second, to put some pressure on Mits’ daughter to take into account the Cyprob in her dealings with the Turks.
If this were the case and “there is no evidence or proof that denies it”, apart from a denial by Lickavgis which was to be expected, the government failed to make it plausible to the public because it did not organise a credibly hysterical reaction. If Spy can see us from above, he will be cringing at the way these pathetic amateurs have managed to bring into disrepute what in his time had been a noble art.
ONE QUESTION is repeatedly asked by customers of our establishment. Does spokesman Pashiardis have a problem with his facial muscles? If he does not, why has he never been seen with the slightest smile on his face? It is obvious he is not a fun-loving dude, but is it so difficult for him, at least, to crack a phony smile for the sake of the cameras? If anyone reading this has seen him smiling please write and tell us the occasion because we would like to know what could bring joy to this dour, ultra serious man. If you have a picture of him smiling even better – send it to the Coffeeshop and we will publish it in our next edition.
MITSOTAKIS’ dastardly scheming was not the only conspiracy against the Republic unearthed last week. According to financial sources, Piraeus Bank’s attempt to take control of the Bank of Cyprus is part of a US conspiracy against Cyprus. Rumours circulating in stockbrokers’ offices suggest that behind the Piraeus Bank is the American, Carlyle group of companies in which George Bush Sr has a big stake. Apparently Carlyle will use PB to get hold of the B of C in order to screw up our economy as punishment for our rejection of the A-plan. The good news is that, if the takeover goes ahead, the B of C will offer interest free loans to ‘yes’ voters.
THE TAKEOVER bid of Greece’s Emporiki Bank by our own Bank of 4 Continents took an unexpected turn when this week after stockbrokers in a Athens reported that Piraeus Bank stock was being snapped up by Marfin, the Greek financial group which holds a 20 per cent stake in Laiki. The brokers had passed this news on to the B of C, which is now claiming that PB’s efforts to buy control of the B of C was a defensive move, aimed at warding off a hostile takeover bid by Marfin. In short, PB, fearing a takeover bid by Marfin, began buying stock in the B of C (it now stands at 7.5 per cent) to prevent the takeover, and the B of C, fearing a takeover bid by PB put in an offer for Emboriki to prevent the takeover. This takeover circus is a bit like those Hollywood conspiracy thrillers starring Lee Marvin in which he would crack the conspiracy, but in the end realise that he had been working for the baddies all along without knowing it.
ALL THE PAIN and worry being suffered by the head honchos of the B of C could have been avoided if they had been a little less smug and self-satisfied. Back in December when HSBC was looking for buyers for its 20 per cent stake in Laiki, it offered it to the B of C. The only person who wanted to buy up Laiki was the group’s CEO Andreas Eliades, but the great brains on the bank’s board, including the chairman, who is now championing the takeover of Emporiki, vetoed the idea as stupid and pointless. Had they gone for it, B of C would have become too big for Piraeus Bank, or any other small to medium bank, to entertain the idea of taking control of it.
MILLIONAIRE legal eagle Polis Polyviou gave in to t
he pressure from the Governor of the Central Bank Ttooulis of Avgorou and resigned as director of the Bank of 4 Continents last Monday. He will only serve the bank as its legal advisor now, even though it is doubtful whether his office’s takings will ever again reach the £1.7 million it made last year. And to think that our learned friend had fallen out big time with his father-in-law Solon Triantafyllides last year when the latter was forced to step down as chairman of the bank in order to keep his seat on the board. He sided with the guys who had decided to get rid of his father-in-law – the man who had made him a director. So it was nice to see him losing his seat, which he considered more important than family loyalty. Maybe there is a just God up there, and his name is Ttooulis.
SOCIALIST windbag Dr Faustus may have retired from active politics, but he still gives the odd speech at EDEK central committee meetings. At one such meeting, he issued a stern warning to the government about the victimisation of EDEK supporters working in the army and civil service. He had heard that there was a plot not to promote EDEK supporting army officers and civil servants (meaning cops). If his information proved correct, there would be no tolerance of the persecution of his comrades. We did not hear the good doctor complain when his comrades were benefiting from the rusfeti practised by Doros and Koullis in the National Guard and the police force. But now that reverse rusfeti may be practised he is taking a stand on principle.
SORRY we have undersold you today, but the football is on and nothing is important enough to justify missing a World Cup quarter final. I would not miss a World Cup quarter-final even for a seat on the board of the B of C.
