EVERYONE appeared to be pulling fast ones and setting traps before, during and after Ban Ki-moon’s much-hyped visit to the island of martyrdom and victimhood.
But what do you expect when the hastily-arranged visit itself was declared a diplomatic scam by several of our conspiracy-busting hacks and politicos. It was allegedly set up by the devious Big Al and the Yank at UN HQ Lyn Pascoe, who forced Ban to visit by feeding him misleading information about the peace talks.
Worse still, they supposedly arranged the visit without consulting the comrade president beforehand; the hunky Aussie was said to have announced the news to our bemused leader, who was not too keen on having Ban over, for fear he might demand that talks moved faster than at the current snail’s pace. But he could not come out and say that he did not want the Secretary-General to visit.
The comrade got his own back on the scheming Al, by pulling a fast one when Ban was here. He dug in his heels when it came to announcing the big progress made in the talks, with the UN having to play it down in Ban’s official statement. He also refused to agree to any arrangements for a new bout of intensive talks, even though he agreed in principle to continue meeting.
So Ban had nothing tangible to show for his visit and had to regurgitate the predictable platitudes about the time for a solution and the two leaders’ courage and determination.
This was not the only punishment inflicted on Ban for visiting. At the official banquet at the people’s palace on Sunday night, the comrade arranged for the South Korean to be seated next to the lethally dull Marios Garoyian, which was pretty vindictive.
THE AWARD for the stitch-up of the visit had to go to duplicitous Mehmet Ali Talat, who double-crossed Big Al big-time, set up Ban for an embarrassment and infuriated the comrade, not to mention the fact that he sparked mass hysteria among our ruling elite.
I refer to the way he deceived the UN (even though many Greek Cypriots have accused Downer of being party to the scam) and met Ban in his pseudo-office instead of his pseudo-residence as he had pseudo-officially agreed. The UN had been informed about the Turkish trap while Ban was on his way to the pseudo-presidential compound and Big Al called Talat to ask him to revert to the original plan.
But Talat refused to budge, reportedly telling the Aussie that the red carpet leading to his office had already been laid and it was too late to change his arrangements. If the UN did not want the meeting taking place in the pseudo-office, the visit would have to be called off, Talat supposedly told Al. The Aussie, we suppose, decided that calling off the meeting would have been more embarrassing for the UN, even though he knew that his decision to go ahead with the meeting would boost Greek Cypriot thirst for his blood.
You had to feel some sympathy for poor old Ban Ki-moon, a good man, who ended up being a pawn in their games or, to be more poetic, a prawn in their egg-fried rice?
A POSITIVE consequence of the meeting at the pseudo-office was the re-deployment of the Ethnarch’s most powerful diplomatic weapon – the cocktail party boycott (CPB) – by the bash-patriotic parties. And how fitting that the boycott was staged on the very same evening a gathering to honour the Ethnarch’s memory was being held.
It was a reminder that his legacy lives on. DIKO, EDEK, EUROKO and the Greens all stayed away from the reception given by Ban at the Ledra Palace Hotel on Monday evening, to underline their strong disapproval of the meeting in the pseudo-office. Later in the week, Ethnarch junior, used Akel’s failure to observe the nationally dignified CPB, as proof of the commies’ deficient patriotism. The DIKO sacrifice was not as great as Junior made out, because, I heard neither the wine nor the canapés were that good.
Ban did not seem too disappointed with the snub, relieved that he would be spared the ordeal of engaging in conversation, however brief, with Garoyian for a second night running.
The DISY fuhrer, never a supporter of the CPBs, was at the reception and provided the only entertaining moment. As Talat was about to leave, he approached him and said, quite loudly, “Get a move on Mehmet, you’re going to be late for Tassos Papadopoulos’ memorial event.”
APART from being the only party leader with a sense of humour and therefore this establishment’s favourite politician, Nik also possesses the chutzpah and self-confidence to show his disdain for the TV film crews waiting outside every event for statements.
All the other party leaders stand to attention and begin spouting out their boringly negative, well-rehearsed lines, like gormless school-kids reciting a poem at a national day celebration, as soon as a TV journalist asks for a statement. It does not matter if they made statement a few hours earlier, they will happily repeat it – they have become the equivalent of the town criers of ancient times.
Nik, in contrast, refused to talk to the cameras after the National Council meeting on Friday and issued a written statement instead. He did the same five days earlier, on arriving at the palace for the official dinner in honour of Ban. The Antenna hack was visibly shocked that Nik waltzed past him, ignoring his request for a statement, but what did he want him to say? “I hope Ban will enjoy the kleftiko and not suffer indigestion, because it may affect the solution of the Cyprob.”
All the other party leaders made patriotic statements to the camera crews before dinner, illustrating how small they are compared to Nik.
THE BAD news is that the visit was not a meaningless exercise or part of Turkey’s communications games as the town-criers of negativity and rejection had been claiming. In fact not only had significant progress been made (the chapter on power-sharing and governance was almost completely agreed), but the comrade was told in no uncertain terms that the talks needed to continue by hook or by crook.
He was not happy about the UN turning the screw, but he also realised that his favoured slow motion approach would not be tolerated and he ran the risk of being blamed if there was no more progress. The comrade had become the Hamlet of the Cyprob, fearing taking any decision because whatever he did, he would be crucified and the guy’s only desire is to be loved.
He is still dithering, but at Friday’s National Council meeting he decided to spill the fasoulia about the progress made and his intention to carry on talking. He could no longer keep the party leaders in the dark, even though they remained in denial spurting their torrents of negativity, like always
Garoyian, Omirou et al insisted there was no progress even after Friday’s meeting. Omriou, the high priest of negativity, said after the meeting: “Our view was that the general account of the talks was negative; the general account of the Secretary-General’s visit was negative…”
On Monday the EDEK central committee is meeting to discuss the general negativity surrounding the Cyprob. It could decide to take a positive step and leave the government alliance so it can spread its negative message without restrictions.
THE BASH-PATRIOTS at DIKO met immediately after the National Council meeting and will meet again on Tuesday to decide whether they would leave the government. The party is split in two. Junior and the Ethnarch’s disciples want out, but Garoyian and the DIKOites serving as government ministers, believe the national interest would be better served if they did not give up their posts.
Garoyian wants to stay because next year there will be parliamentary elections and he knows that without AKEL support he would not get another term as House president. And the House presidency, like the foreign ministry, is definitely worth turning a blind eye to the large-scale concessions made by comrade president at the talks. Marios is not going to give up the right to keep Cyprus Airways flights waiting for him, because his party members want to play the resistance heroes.
IF THERE were any doubts that Cyprus Airways pilots were the greediest and most selfish group of workers in Kyproulla, they were dispelled this week, when the court news was reported. A pilot who had taken the airline to court demanding the part of his wages that were docked as part of the 2005 rescue plan had won his case.
Others had also sued the airline and would also win their cases, leaving CY to face a bill of millions of euro in back-pay to pilots. The board’s bullying tactics worked only partly and there were pilots who withdrew their legal claims, but many of them did not. They had been docked 10 per cent of their salary which over a year comes to about €14,000; over five years a pilot would be owed about €70,000.
The pilots union was the only one of CY’s five unions which refused to agree to the pay cut, back in 2005, and it was imposed on them unilaterally by the company, which is why its members can now successfully sue for the dosh. During the court-case a representative of the airline’s auditors was asked why the European Commission had been told that all unions had accepted the proposed pay-cut, when this was not true.
His response said it all. If the Commission was told the truth, it would not have approved the government loan guarantees which saved CY from going bust. So the board lied, stupidly believing that the greediest workers of Cyprus would not cause trouble for their moollah.
DEPUTIES are becoming very irritating with the way they want to protect our health. First they made a big fuss about the ‘aromatic’ herbs being sold by peripteros because people were using them to get stoned.
It would not be a surprise if deputies had been alerted to the dangerous herbs by the importers of marijuana, because their illegal business had been hit. On Wednesday the Council of Minister issued order making the herbs illegal
On Thursday deputies decided to warn us about another health hazard. Mixing energy drinks with alcohol was very dangerous because it gave the impression to the user that he was not drunk. Even worse, according to our deputies was mixing energy drinks with alcohol and ecstasy pills. What about mixing alcohol with energy drinks and cannabis? Was that good for you, because nobody at the House said it was bad.
THERE WAS “an important development in the investigations” into the theft of the Ethnarch’s remains which “lead the police to some precise findings” reported Phil on its front page last Thursday. The gypsum that was scattered in the grave by the thieves was from the occupied area.
Tests recently carried out, showed that the gypsum was from Pentadaktylos, the paper said adding: “Now that this version has been scientifically confirmed, it is believed a positive step has been made, as it shows that the perpetrators were in contact with people in the occupied areas.” I was a bit disappointed by Phil’s failure to conclude that this was proof that the perpetrators were actually Turks.
A police source said “it was possible that the perpetrators secured the gypsum from the occupied areas and brought it to the free areas. But it is unknown why they did not use gypsum produced in the free areas, even though there was a possibility that origin of the gypsum was a coincidence because such material from the occupied area could be found in the free areas.”
This one of the most idiotic stories ever written, but it did not stop the CyBC TV news from reporting it as a ‘major development in the Papadopoulos grave robbery.”
THE OWNERS of Cyprus’ top Japanese restaurant – Nippon in Larnaca – were given a taste of labour minister Sotiroulla Charalambous’ policy to limit the increase in unemployment when they applied for permits for Japanese chefs. The ministry rejected the applications and the owners sought a meeting with Sotiroulla.
At the meeting she told them to hire Cypriot chefs. They told her that if they were running a Cypriot tavern they would, but preparing Japanese food was a bit more complicated than making kebab.
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby.
In the case of the Cyprob, Homer Simpson’ quote is more appropriate – trying is the first step towards failure.
