Are we to believe that the reasons highlighted in B. Jones’ bitter and somewhat spiteful letter which are allegedly causing them to leave Cyprus, are ones which have just developed? Are they instances which have only recently become part of the way of life on the island?
Would I be correct to suggest that they are merely idioms of the way of life here, and as such, idiosyncrasies which would and should have been noticeable on previous visits, or ones which would have been obvious prior to arrival, assuming of course this individual carried out in depth research prior to moving here.
I notice that B. Jones says that they always holidayed here for one week in winter time, and follows this up with the very astute observation that one week is different to a whole winter… full marks for observation there! Surely, some, if not all of the alleged reasons which are prevaricating this person’s early repatriation should have been picked up on during these excursions.
I sense a knee-jerk attitude here, brought on by a failure to adapt, which, true to form is directed either at the island itself, or the local people who live here and provide the services some of us actually enjoy.
Sadly this has become a trademark of disillusioned expatriates who arrived on this beautiful island, determined to change it and who were either ignorant, ill informed, or who were unwilling to appreciate that a change in culture had to be allowed for on their part, and who, as a result of this, have realised that they are unable to “live the dream”. If a child acted in a relative manner the behaviour so demonstrated would be termed as petulance or sulking.
Over the past two years ,which, believe me have not been all beer and skittles, my wife, my six year old daughter and I have survived, winters and all, because we knew in advance that things would be different. We allowed for the lack of buses, and were thankful for the shops, who miraculously stayed open long enough for us to use them – our local ones, by the way open for approximately 15 hours every day. Funnily enough, we have also found enough to do, in order to ensure our minds did not become numb with boredom, without a visit to the UKCA club and without a bingo ticket or scrabble brick in sight.
I really hope that B. Jones and family’s repatriation proves successful, I would wish them health and happiness, and success in abundance. And I would imagine that by going back to the UK they will need all of this and much more in order to have any quality of life and peace of mind.
When they can not get out of the house because the rain is constant, or the pavements too slippery because the local Council failed to put down grit, they will wait for a bus which does not come on time, then three will come at once. They will then find themselves having to pay ever increasing bus fares to drivers who have a personality which hovers somewhere between Vlad the Impaler and Victor Meldrew, and who appear to have been recruited purely for their talent and inherent ability to offend normal people and terrify old ladies and children.
They will then find themselves in supermarkets, being served by rude and recalcitrant teenagers who have absolutely nothing by way of interpersonal skills, and who have already reached their intellectual ceiling by mastering the electronic till, which obviates the need to exercise their mind ,which was not properly educated anyway, as they were allowed to use calculators in school, and as a result can neither add, subtract, divide, multiply, and who are unable to converse adequately as they have lost this ability owing to the advancement of electronic messages.
Then having purchased vastly overpriced shopping items of deniable quality, they will find themselves having to pay ever-increasing prescription charges to obtain drugs, which will be needed to treat illnesses brought on by having to live in a house which they can not adequately heat, owing to the exorbitant costs of gas and electricity.
These drugs will not be prescribed by their own doctor, who they will not have been able to see personally, because either his appointment book is full for the foreseeable future or he is otherwise engaged in the private sector.
And at the end of this day out in good old England if they are very lucky they will get home with both their persona, their mind and their items intact, always assuming of course they have not been mugged on the way home, by a drug addict, who would be very unfortunate indeed, were he to be arrested by a pompous, unsympathetic, politically correct policeman, who may or may not eventually turn up.
If he is accosted by the PC-PC, the druggie will probably then sue B. Jones and family, for an infringement of his human rights because they had the temerity to have him arrested.
Hopefully they themselves will have managed to avoid being arrested by Robocop, who will have left them in no doubt whatsoever, that that they have no right to prevent the attempted assault and cautioned them that they were wrong to defend themselves and their property, and risked arrest by so doing.
And if they get through all this and get home without being verbally abused by cider-fuelled, cigarette smoking schoolchildren, and find that the house has not been burgled, or the cat tortured, well then I suppose you could call that a relatively successful day.
Well B. Jones of Paphos, I bid thee farewell, Godspeed and good fortune, I will think of you later this summer, all 10 months of it, as I enjoy a cold beer on the beach, and lay in the sun, using sun block of course, so I don’t go leathery. Then my family and I will walk in safety to my local reasonably priced taverna to enjoy fresh local food, cooked by people who can do it without a microwave, and do not have to get it out of a freezer or a packet, and who can also provide good company into the bargain. If the shop is open, I will purchase what I need in advance, and then when it closes it will not matter.
I will use the bus when it comes, if not we will walk safely home and enjoy the country we have been made welcome in. We will also plan our winter I order to ensure we are fully occupied throughout.
My advice would be, make early enquiries as to how you will get all your sour grapes home, and make sure you have enough lemons to keep you bitter….
Rob Wharton,
Mazotos, Larnaca
