I WOULD like to make a suggestion that I believe would contribute to the raising of the quality of our political life. We should set up a political psychiatric ward. This would operate along the same lines as a psychiatric hospital in which people with psychological problems are treated.
The political psychiatric hospital would offer treatment (in the form of reality checks and political training) to our politicians who are suffering from job-related ailments. The legislature could pass regulations and procedures so that any politician who engages in demagoguery or makes grossly stupid suggestions would be taken there.
Presidential candidate Girogos Lillikas could be the first man to check in to this facility. His ingenious suggestion for the pre-selling of the natural gas in Block 12 in order to free ourselves from the troika and the bailout would make him eligible for treatment. He repeated his proposal during last Monday’s TV debate. “We say that we can, in 2013, exploit the natural gas and disengage from the memorandum.”
As is well-known, the amount required to save the state and the banks from bankruptcy is estimated in the region of €17 billion. The memorandum, if God permits, will be signed in March. Lillikas will pull off a miracle bigger than those of Christ. Within nine months, he will not only find buyers and pre-sell natural gas worth €17 billion but also collect the money. And come Christmas he will invite our international lenders to Cyprus, pay them back the €17 billion and tell them to go to hell.
According to the most optimistic forecasts, we will not be able to supply natural gas until 2019. We are now at the start of 2013, which means we have another six years ahead of us. Several experts have questioned Lillikas’ idea, but for the sake of argument I will accept that their views were invalid. I will accept that, in nine months, Lillikas will be able to sell gas worth €17 billion.
But even in such a case, there is one thing I cannot understand, considering we need the billions this year. Would the buyers, to whom we sell the gas that will not be supplied to them until 2019, pay us from now? Would they give €17 billion in 2013 for the gas we would not give six to seven years?
Pre-selling does not mean pre-payment. Pre-buying usually means I agree to buy something in the future and will pay for it when I take delivery of it. This is how business transactions have been conducted on this planet, so far.
If Lillikas is able to find such big idiots in the world that he can sell them gas worth €17 billion in six years but collect full payment now we will have to admit that Cyprus has unearthed the greatest economic mind of the world, the smartest businessman in the history of commerce or the biggest miracle-worker since Christ.
It would be horribly unpatriotic not to vote for Lillikas in the elections and deprive our country of a president with the most unique intellect in the history of mankind.
I have another suggestion to make. If, God forbid, Lillikas’ ground-breaking inspiration fails, as an alternative we should ask for tenders for the pre-sale of all reserves of political stupidity, plus those we would produce in the next seven years. These could be certified by the doctors of the political psychiatric ward and we could collect payment now.
I do not know the current price of political stupidity on the world markets, but if we do find buyers this could prove another way of ridding ourselves of the troika and cursed memorandum by the end of 2013.
