By Patroclos
OVERSEAS Cypriots were in town last week for their annual extravaganza during which they are entertained by our squabbling party leaders, who like to show off their uncompromising patriotism, presumably in the hope of impressing a few of the wealthy expats and securing a few bucks in contributions to their party.
For their part, the expats, especially those living in the America, entertain us by boasting about their alleged political influence in Washington and close ties to the Jewish lobby, before spouting their grandiose plans of using the US government to pressure Turkey into making big concessions on Cyprus.
Every year, the self-important president of the International Co-ordinating Committee Justice for Cyprus (Pseka) Philip Christopher says the same thing, but he never gets round to doing anything. His master-plan of using the Jewish lobby to force a change of US policy towards Turkey has still not been put into practice which begs question: what is he waiting for?
There is a real danger that the Cyprob will be solved in a way that would make a mockery of the idea of Justice for Cyprus and Christopher is still talking about his genius master-plan instead of implementing it and saving the country.
UK-BASED Cypriots do not have the same delusions of grandeur as Cypriot Yanks, perhaps because if they said they would use their influence to make Britain apply pressure on Turkey, nobody would believe them. Or perhaps it is because there has never been a big-shot visionary like Christopher in the UK.
Christopher perfected his master plan this year telling the conference that “the strategic and geo-political position of our country must be upgraded and this is our target.” How it would take place, he did not say, but I have heard that you can buy a geo-political upgrade app from the Apple store.
The expats in the US, he said, “have very good relations with the Jewish lobby, Armenians and Kurds,” and “we are trying to show that Israel-Cyprus-Egypt-Greece-Kurdistan are more reliable allies in the region” especially now the “Pentagon and State Department were wondering whether Turkey is the real ally the US should have in the region.”
Not surprisingly, Christopher was not optimistic about the prospects of a settlement, which would be a big blow to his inflated sense of self-importance as his role as our prime US-based saviour would end. Without the Cyprob, there will be no use for strategic upgrades, the Jewish lobby, or Christopher.
PREZ NIK put the cat among the pigeons at the conference with his daring views about the Republic and his attack on the populism of the opposition parties. His frank views inspired Junior who spoke to the conference a day later.
Like Christopher, Junior was not optimistic and engaged in his familiar alarmism, warning that if the Cyprus Republic – “our shield” – was scrapped to make way for a new state it would signal the end of Cypriot Hellenism on the island.
“Just think what would happen if they turn us into the Palestinians of the Mediterranean, a people without a state and having to confront Turkey.” If this happens, I think Nicolas might become the Arafat of the Cypriots, although he will have big competition from Lillikas and Sizopoulos. Worse still, if we become the Palestinians of the Mediterranean, Christopher would not be able to seek the help of the Jewish lobby.
THE MEMBERS of the Central Bank board have been busy trying to lower the island’s unemployment rate by focusing their attention on creating new jobs, instead of monitoring the decisions of Governor Crystal.
The investment in the job creation may be rather high as the international firm of strategy consultants Roland Berger has been hired to advise the directors how to re-structure the top management of the Central Bank.
From what I hear, Roland Berger is working on a plan to eliminate the positions of senior directors, to which Central Bank employees are promoted, and replace them with about nine executive directors that would be appointed by the government with recommendations from political parties.
That would mean nine new jobs, paying an annual salary of about 100 grand and it would be no surprise if the current four members of the board get a piece of the action. The remainder of the executive directorships, presumably, will go to obedient placemen chosen by our president and political parties whose primary concern, without a shadow of a doubt, would be to safeguard the independence of the institution.
THE IDEA of having a committee of executive directors running the Central Bank had been floated when Professor Panicos Demetriades was governor, as a way of limiting his powers.
Two executive directors were appointed, one of whom, Stelios Kiliaris stepped down after publicly accusing Governor Crystal of being out of her depth and a liar. The other, George Syrichas, who enjoys the patronage of DISY and has been vying for the job of governor, remains in his place and is unlikely to be replaced when the restructure is finalised.
Needless to say that the appointment of the two executive directors did not limit the governor’s powers which are safeguarded by the law and the constitution. It would be no surprise if the government goes ahead with the appointment of nine executive directors and still not be able to exercise any control over the governor, whose independence is protected by the law and the ECB.
On the plus side, the restructure would create new jobs and reduce unemployment figures by nine, 10 or even 12. It all depends of course on the strategy Roland Berger, which is receiving a lot of moollah to give legitimacy to the ‘jobs for the party boys scheme’, would eventually propose.
CRYSTAL meanwhile, is waiting for the police examination of her PC hard-disk which was seized as part of the cop investigation into the leaking of the notorious NPL list with deputies’ names.
After a two-month break caused by the intervention of the ECB boss Mario Draghi threatening to sue the government, the investigation resumed this week, but with an ECB official in attendance. Draghi had objected to cops going through the hard-disks of Crystal and her associates as they contained confidential ECB information.
With a Frankfurt minder supervising the cops, the investigation should be completed soon and my hunch is that nothing incriminating will be found. As one Central Bank employee said, Crystal could just about use a PC and would not have a clue how to cover her tracks, in the extremely unlikely event that she had leaked the list via email.
This is leaving aside the fact that people had a right to be informed which deputies had NPLs just in case some of our elected representatives’ principled stand against the foreclosures bill might have been influenced by the personal rather than the public interest, as they would have liked us to believe.
ANOTHER one of those farcical police raids, supposedly targeting prostitution, but in effect designed for a cop or one of his friends to have free sex, took place in Larnaca on Monday.
A Chinese woman and her son appeared in court the following the day and were remanded in custody for three days in connection with a case of living off immoral earnings and maintaining a brothel.
It was the familiar, ludicrous story of a cop associate visiting the pair’s massage parlour, receiving the sex service and paying with a marked note that could be used as evidence in court.
Our cops are quite clearly under-occupied, if they can waste their time staking out a massage parlour, as the investigating officer informed the court. And for what, to arrest a mother and son team offering a full Chinese massage, which ends with a hand-job? Does this even qualify as prostitution, let alone living off immoral earnings?
It was pretty pathetic how the cops made a big thing out of the fact that the son wore a wig, false breasts and dressed in women’s clothes; he also wore big women’s sunglasses on the job, the court was told, so customers would not realise he was a man.
It gets better. Apart from three-and-a-half-grand and address books, the cops confiscated wigs, silicon breasts and female underwear, presumably as incriminating evidence. It is obviously a crime for men to wear a wig and dress up in women’s clothing in Kyproulla.
Why don’t cops just stick to what they know best, like beating the crap out of suspects, instead of wasting the courts’ time persecuting people who are earning a living by offering a little pleasure and harming nobody?
WE DID not read any angry statements from the do-gooder feminists of MIGS (Mediterranean Institute of Gender Studies) or the LGBT gang about this blatant police persecution of a transvestite. Their puritanism must have prevailed because they do not approve of people who offer sex services for money, even if they are not victims of trafficking and exploitation and engage in this activity of their own free will.
In the end, only our disreputable establishment has defended the rights of the Chinese suspected tranny, while all the do-gooders stayed silent.
A DO-GOODER that never stays silent is Leda Koursoumba, the Commissioner for the Protection of the Rights of Children. Koursoumba has one of those gloriously pointless jobs with nothing to do, as in Kyproulla there are no kids working in sweat-shops, being trafficked, begging on the streets or being used in adult scams.
A commissioner would be useful in poor third world countries in which there is exploitation of children, but in affluent Kyproulla with our spoilt, well-fed, over-protected kids that are chauffeured everywhere and learn to bark orders at maids from the age of five, what rights exactly need protecting? The right to more Playstation games or more private lessons?
Given that she has very little to do, every few months Koursoumba will issue some long treatise about children’s rights in order to justify her big salary. This week she released a multi-page essay on TV talent shows for kids – two stations were planning to broadcast such tedious shows – spouting theories of what she considered acceptable and issuing warnings.
Children’s participation in “productions directed at adults, raises questions, as the use of children for the entertainment of an adult audience with the aim of high viewer ratings and profit could constitute a form of exploitation,” she said. It is not in the same league as kids working 14 hours a day for peanuts in a Pakistan sweat-shop, but Koursoumba needs to invent some form of exploitation to protect our kids.
HER SENSITIVITY was not restricted to the exploitation. “It is necessary to provide support by experts to parents and children, so they can cope and appropriately handle the consequences that could arise as a result of their public exposure.” I suppose she will pay random visits to the studio sets to ensure there is always an expert on stand-by to offer support to the exploited children and their pushy parents that might be traumatised by the publicity and their attention-seeking.
WHAT possessed Yiorkos Lillikas to grow a beard? Is it because beards have become fashionable, does he have some mark on his face he wants to hide, does he want to be the first party leader in the history of the Republic with a beard or does he want to look more like his fellow-villager and hero Makarios?
The bearded Lillikas made a very important proposal on Friday. He urged Prez and Disy to start thinking about how to “deconstruct Akinci’s picture of saintliness” which they had created, because soon they will have to face the reality. It was the sort of constructive comment you would expect from Yiorkos, even though Paphites with beards are not the most trustworthy men or women.
If the government cannot think how to do this, it could always hire Lillikas. He is an expert in communications strategy and has conducted some very nasty misinformation and propaganda campaigns in his time.
