I had a lot of misconceptions about Tinder. Some were based on news articles (it’s all married men out for a bit on the side). Many were founded on hearsay (Tinder is dead, long live Badoo). Still others were built on the premise that, regardless of anything else, Cyprus would be well behind the Tinder times. But six months of swiping right (and left) have proved me very wrong. Not only is Tinder popular in Cyprus, it’s over-populated… with people who are simply looking for love!
The location-based online dating app which claims to have prompted “over 20 billion matches to date” is truly thriving here on the island. Widen your parameters a little, and it’s evident that all ages and sexualities are represented. In the last few weeks, Emil, the 65-year-old army retiree, Hans the middle-aged German salesman here on business, and Stella the open-minded bank clerk have all crossed my screen (albeit under other names!). And there are far more where they came from…
A little number crunching, and I’ve worked out that I’m seeing – on average – 100+ new profiles per week. That’s an awful lot of potential matches for such a small community, even for someone with a screening process which requires more than one photo, a grammatically correct bio, and the ability to begin a conversation with something other than ‘Hello beautiful’! And though I’ve yet to arrange a date, various friends who’ve taken the plunge have a lot to say on the subject of Tinder in Cyprus…
Marco, a 43-year-old civil servant, has been playing the dating app game for four years, and while he dabbles with other platforms (die-hard online daters maintain that Badoo, Zoosk, and MetroDate are all viable alternatives), he’s pretty satisfied with Tinder. “In real life, Cyprus is so small you’re always meeting the same groups; Tinder gives you access to new people,” he stresses, adding that – thanks to the app – he’s had three lasting liaisons, culminating in his current nine-month relationship. “On the plus side, Tinder is user-friendly, free of charge, and you get all ages. But you can only interact if the attraction is mutual, so it’s worth upping your game. Be a gentleman,” he advises male hopefuls. “Just because you’re online doesn’t mean you can get away with being a sleaze! Be genuine,” he adds. “If you drive a Vespa, don’t post pics with a Ferrari. And do play the numbers game: the more people you like, the more chance you have of meeting someone special.”
While the younger crowd do tend towards the school of immediate gratification (one male millennial asserting that the app “cuts down the amount of time and money you have to spend before sealing the deal!”), for the most part anyone over the age of 30 seems to be online for love. 33-year-old travel agent Stephanie is “hoping to find Mr Right”; 46-year-old divorcé George (owner at self-employed) is on the hunt for his “dream queen”; and 58-year-old Talal has been on Tinder for five years, looking to “meet a woman who loves good food and travel” – a popular bio line, though if everyone who ascribed to a penchant for dining and flying was telling the truth, restaurants and airlines would be constantly overbooked! But few show more dedication than Larnaca-based teacher Emma. She’s been on Tinder from its inception in 2012, and has been dating roughly once a month since then. “I’m looking for a relationship,” states the 39-year-old. “If all you’re after is sex, I’m not interested…”
As a result of her careful screening process, and a bio which clearly states her intentions, Emma’s had one long-term relationship and a slew of memorable dates. “For me, Tinder is a place to go each evening; I don’t have the time to go out every day, so 20 minutes of swiping lets me see new faces and hold interesting conversations. For busy people, it’s an excellent solution: you can start and stop a conversation any time you want.”
While Emma admits she’s “met some lovely guys through the app”, her first attempts at Tinder dating were not always successful. “I had a coffee with a guy who spent the entire time talking about himself – when he suggested another session, I quickly declined. ‘Well, you’re paying for your drink then,’ he stormed. I paid up and left. But not before suggesting HE owed ME for 180 minutes of therapy!”
These days, Emma claims to be able to spot a potential date within three lines of messaging. And she has some pretty sound advice to offer other hopefuls: “Be specific about what you’re looking for in your profile – it’s going to save you a lot of time later on. Read your match’s bio and have a few interesting questions prepared in advance; you wouldn’t walk up to someone in bar with nothing more to say for yourself than ‘hi’, so apply that to your online conversations too. And meet within a week of your initial connection: if they’re not willing to meet quickly, it’s not going to be worth your time.” In terms of safety, Emma recommends having a verbal conversation before the date, always making your own way there, and never going to someone’s house. “Because Cyprus is so small, Tinder is relatively safe: if you go to a bar you can always be sure you’ll be around someone you know.”
As a recent adherent myself, I can’t pretend to anything like Emma’s expertise on the subject. But while, pre-Tinder, I firmly believed the app was all about the hook-ups – a sort of publicly sanctioned swingers site –experience leads me to suppose the majority are after something a little more meaningful. I can, however, pass on three things I’ve learnt in my brief time on Tinder. 1) Avoid anyone who’s displaying a pixelated bathroom selfie; they’re probably hiding from the spouse. 2) Don’t swipe drunk. Because you WILL confuse your right and left. And for the next month, you’ll be fighting off a host of hopefuls with nothing better to say than ‘Hello baeutifull’ [sic]. And 3) Most people are just looking for love.
To join Tinder (or just check out what all the fuss is about) visit https://tinder.com/
