AS THE number of reported domestic violence instances increase in Cyprus, professionals are hoping to educate teachers and pupils on how to spot the signs and what action to take to help, according to the head of the Paphos domestic violence shelter.
The association for the prevention and handling of violence in the family- Spavo- is a non- governmental, non- profit organisation which was founded in Cyprus in 1990. They are taking part in the ‘16 days of action’ which culminate on December 10, Human Rights Day.
The Associations helpline provides counselling support anonymously, in both Greek and English, and women may also ask for shelter as they operate two facilities, one in Nicosia founded in 1998 and has 24 beds, and a second in Paphos, established in 2014 with eight beds. A shelter for Limassol is also in the works.
Head of the Paphos shelter, Martha Kalana, told the Sunday Mail that their mission is to provide support services, shelter, information and educational programmes using qualified staff, along with the help and support of volunteers and private and governmental agencies.
“All of our services are free and are operated with respect, confidentiality and trust. During this global campaign we will undertake many events, information campaigns, seminars, speeches and presentations,” she said.
The association has just completed an education programme in Paphos for 18 new Cypriot volunteers, who will help to raise awareness.
Kalana said that it was particularly important to disseminate information for prevention reasons, as people are not often in a position to recognise the signs of abuse, and therefore don’t self-report themselves as victims.
Abuse takes many forms, not just manifesting as violence, but also verbal or psychological abuse.
“Many people don’t recognise this as violence so it’s important to educate people and make them aware of what are the forms of violence and that it’s not only physical or sexual, its neglect and psychological as well,” she said.
Although more incidents are being reported in Cyprus, staff are not in a position to know if this means the instances are increasing, as it may be that more people are coming forward to make complaints, or that the public is more aware of help available and are more able to find the services to report them.
“We are happy that they are reporting these cases though,” she said.
Kalana studied psychology, counselling and trauma management and also received further training on domestic violence from the association, where she has worked for the past four years.
“Being abusive is a way to control others, not only to cause harm or pain, it’s all about having others under your control and this may come from their insecurities, wanting to have people around them and manipulate them and they feel safe having this power.”
She explained that the shelters are solely for women, and children accompanied by their mothers. In order to be able to enter the shelter it’s a prerequisite that the woman has experienced violence, Kalana explained. If only the children have suffered abuse, the association refers them to the welfare office as they are responsible for minors, she explained.
“We can’t divulge where the shelter is for the residents’ security and our security. Many of the perpetrators are violent, and they have guns or knives. On occasion, they (the perpetrator) have found us and we had to call the police,” she said.
Usually, a woman leaves home when she sees transferred behaviours or the violence being turned on them. The first step is to go to the police and make a complaint. The shelter staff then inform the women that they may apply for legal aid, she said.
“We help them to find a job and with the first salary, we help them to rent an apartment. We had an instance like that this month, it was good to help,” she said.
Both Cypriots and foreigners are using the shelter’s facilities, but the number of foreign women is larger, not because Cypriots don’t experience violence, but because foreigners have fewer options open to them, she said.
“A Cypriot woman could go to relatives or friends, whereas a foreigner maybe doesn’t have a job, house, working visa, money, they don’t know the language, or they come from a culture or religion that doesn’t allow them to work, it’s very difficult for them,” she said.
Women and their children are permitted to stay at the shelter from six to eight weeks and in that time they are provided with a safe but temporary place to live, food and their basic needs are covered.
The staff inform the woman about her rights, explore their options, offer psychological support and mediate with other services, such as the police the welfare office and social insurance.
Kalana said that women who have children with Cypriot or European men also face travel issues and may not leave the country as they could face kidnapping charges.
“We try to help them, but usually in such instances, they return back to abusive relationships because of a lack of options, which is terrible.”
Perpetrators need help as well, she said, as it’s not enough to support the victims and then they go back in the same relationship and the perpetrators continue to have the same abusive behaviour.
“They can change if they want to, ask for help and work hard with a therapist,” she noted.
Although the current campaign highlights gender-based violence, more generally, domestic violence can involve men, women and children, and in fact, anyone living in the same house, including housekeepers.
Domestic violence from a woman may not necessarily be physical, but may use other forms such as psychological, verbal, emotional and economic, and often involves women using children to manipulate men, she said.
“Men needing help usually call the line and we try to assess if they need to come to a private session. We don’t have shelters for them and they don’t usually ask.”
She said it’s more difficult for men to speak up and say they have violence at home and this is another point that stereotypes don’t help, she said.
The association which receives funding from the state and a number of European programmes plans to open a new shelter in Limassol next year, to cope with the numerous case of abuse there, she said. In addition, a more unified approach involving all of the departments involved working together could help to slash the time procedures take.
“More has to be done to protect victims from the day they report an incident to the day they go to court. Sometimes the perpetrator will ‘persuade’ them to withdraw the charges. The violence can then escalate and they are victimised again.”
Often, Cypriot women are also under pressure from the perpetrators family and even their own family to stop the case. “They need to be able to move on with their lives and be free, most of them feel like they will always live like criminals, they have to be hidden for the rest of their lives.”
Helpline: 1440 www.domviolence.org.cy
