Tales from the Coffeeshop

Our establishment has been temporarily shut down because the bank has begun foreclosure proceedings due to the extent of our non performing loans. Patroclos has flown to Washington to try and sweet-talk the IMF’s Delectable Delia into giving him a personal bailout. He did not think Angela Merkel would succumb to his charms – nor would he want her to. We expect a deal to be struck well before next Sunday’s edition after we will be able to offer our regulars a new MoU (Menu of Understanding), including the ‘Bailout Special’ – half a cup of skettos – the ‘Bail-In Special’ where the customer brings his own coffee, and a brand new dart board with a photo of the village idiot in place of the bullseye.

 

 

 

The Cyprus Mail is the only English-language daily newspaper published in Cyprus. It was established in 1945 and today, with its popular and widely-read website, the Cyprus Mail is among the most trusted news sites in Cyprus. The newspaper is not affiliated with any political parties and has always striven to maintain its independence. Over the past 70-plus years, the Cyprus Mail, with a small dedicated team, has covered momentous events in Cyprus’ modern history, chronicling the last gasps of British colonial rule, Cyprus’ truncated independence, the coup and Turkish invasion, and the decades of negotiations to stitch the divided island back together, plus a myriad of scandals, murders, and human interests stories that capture the island and its -people. Observers describe it as politically conservative.