A depressing dialogue over lunch

By Hermes Solomon 
AT A RECENT luncheon of Turkish and Greek Cypriot couples I heard Mr M, retired professor and now novelist and TV personality in the north say, “What a disappointment Mr A has turned out to be….so soon and so tragically. The man has no idea of leadership. Does anyone know his game plan concerning future Cyprob talks? I certainly don’t…”
Nobody responded so he continued, “On the other hand, I think Turkey will let Mr A show to Greek Cypriot rank and file that his leadership is no different to that of Christofias – no vision, no plan. Ankara does not need to rush into decisions over Cyprus. Mr A will, in time, put the final nail in the coffin of the Cyprob.”
GG, also a writer and prolific commentator in the south then piped up, “You have hit the nail on the head Mr M rather than hammering it into his coffin. If you are faced by a weak player, hold your cards close to your chest and wait for him to dig his own grave.”
“But what cards is he holding?” asked Mr M.
“None!” said GG. “The Cyprob will be solved by those who created it. It will be as you, Mr M, have often said – de facto loose federation and two separate EU states; it’s just a matter of time. I visit your side regularly and can see for myself that the gap between us is widening not narrowing. Just wish I spoke Turkish so that I could get a real feel of exactly how the north thinks. Have you heard Mr A’s English? Laughable. He’s always pictured in Brussels with the stupid grin on his face, suggesting the island’s problems are a joke.”
Mr M then said rhetorically, “Is solving the Cyprob a lost cause then – a farce? Mr A has made it abundantly clear that he has every intention of following the same sterile path of the past. I’m sure that none of his actions so far have been lost on the north or Turkey.”
GG, true to form of most Cypriot apologists, changed tack with, “Azerbaijan now supplies at least one third of Israel’s oil and has purchased 1.2 billion euros of Israeli arms. Azerbaijan’s foreign minister was in Israel around the same time as Anastasiades. Word in Baku is that Israel will export their gas using BP/Israel facilities in Ceyhan, Turkey. A decision on the South Stream/Nabucco pipeline is expected in June.”
“Did not Christofias visit Azerbaijan during his catastrophic reign?” said Mr M. “Was Cyprus’ gas the reason? Will it stay in the ground until permanent partition is implemented?”
“Partition is only to be expected,” retorted GG. “No passenger shipping – no free movement of capital, no future investment of consequence in the island other than casinos – we are being starved into submission. Some 350 miles to the west lies Crete, populated by a proud people; Cretans first and Greeks second, a complete reversal of what exists here on both sides.”
“You mean Enosis and Taksim,” said Mr M.
“Yes,” said GG. “Did we expect any less of an outcry from our political parties in response to Downer’s ‘Convergences 2008-2012’? It seems to me that each ‘side’ has reasons for not discussing the national issue. First it was the EU council of ministers presidency in the south, then the republic’s presidential elections followed by sorting out our self-inflicted financial crisis, which has put back talks between the two sides until October; and now the news of political turmoil in the north. Excuses, excuses, excuses – pathetic! There are too many politicians intoxicated by the sound of applause and none capable or brave enough to take important decisions. God help us!”
“Political dysfunction is not limited to the south,” interjected Mr M. “My take on the latest news of early elections in the north is: about time our political intrigues were sorted! We’ve had enough of the feuds between the Eroglu family, ruled by Mrs Meral Eroglu, and ‘prime minister’, Ersin Kucuk’s family. It’s as if we were still living during the times of the Ottoman Agha system, when the Aghas and Orthodox Church were constantly embroiled in tax revolts and conspiracies.
“I am not unhappy to see the Eroglu dynasty come to an end. It has been unbelievably corrupt and self-serving. There will be elections in the north on June 28 and the right wing UPB (National Unity Party led by Dervish Eroglu) is already split down the middle. In the end Ankara, or more precisely, Recep Tayyip Erdogan will win the day. The Turkish Cypriots lost control of the north a long time ago – not that they ever really had it! What with hydrocarbons, Ankara has its own agenda. Cypriots, both north and south have increasingly one thing in common: incompetence in governance. Weak leadership has become an established feature of both sides. EU totalitarian rule will determine the future here, not the south and north.”
I can only conclude from the above dialectic that nobody on either side really knows or cares what’s happening on the other side, or for that matter in Brussels. And until both sides do, they are condemned to rot. We must join forces and listen to each other or remain divided and impoverished.
Mr A has willingly succumbed to EU iron fists in velvet gloves. He had no choice but to after his predecessor’s five year mishandling of the economy and the Cyprob talks. Is his permanent cynical grin a ‘what else can I do’ grin – self-flagellation and enjoying it?
At least, under EU totalitarian rule, we will sleep safely in our beds with our remaining euros in the mattress or a foreign bank. As for the Cyprob and gas wealth prognostications – who really believes our politicians and technocrats anymore? Confidence in our leaders is at its lowest ebb ever.