When Kate Green the Shadow Equalities Minister managed to get Top Totty Ale removed as guest ale in the UK House of Commons last week, she said she was “disturbed”: the ale demeaned women by having a semi-naked woman on its label.
Well not exactly a topless top totty, more a tasteful cartoon bunny girl in a bikini, retro tongue in cheek, highlighting its ‘voluptuous’ taste: a saucy blonde for a saucy beer.
I find it very hard to see the offence and find agreement with the politically correct Ms Green. A scientific straw poll amongst my female drinking friends agreed we’d all be delighted to be called Top Totties – way better than old bats.
It was surely a wonderful example of British bawdy humour, a Wife of Bath moment. In other words, a joke.
Like Old Peculiar, Bishop’s Finger, or Maidens’ Piss Britain, quirky ale names with even quirkier labels are part of the British heritage. From mediaeval ages brewing was historically the work of women across Europe and it seems apt that it is a woman brewer, Fay Slater, who is defending her decision to market Top Totty from her independent brewery, and encouraging to hear that women publicans around the UK have rallied in support, so that this week its sales have increased.
What worries me about the knee-jerk reaction that so quickly removed the beer from the Strangers’ Bar at the House of Commons is the inconsistency with every other part of British society.
Far worse is the junk mail in my Hotmail account’s spam folder – and no doubt in every child’s email account across Europe – encouraging me to enlarge my penis or hook up tonight with randy singles. Far worse still are the buxom bosoms on page 3 of the Sun. And by far more exploitative is the unregulated pornography on the Internet and sex trade on our streets. So let’s have some common sense about sex.
Should we stop teaching Shakespeare, Chaucer and Restoration comedy because they have sexual references? Are we going to ban Hogarth prints from our national museums? Bin the bawdy characters in Dickens? Edit innuendo from our major poets? Make Mozart mealy mouthed? From the Carry On Films to Monty Python, from panto to Ab Fab being able to banter about bottoms and bosoms is a healthy part of being human.
Which is why the Top Totty saga is simply daft, and certainly does nothing for women, apart from making us look like po-faced prudes.
British women are perfectly capable of seeing the funny side of sex and standing up for themselves, and I know more than one who can deliver a brilliant taproom put down when needed.
So let us fight our own battles Ms Green, allow us to be as bawdy and brazen as we want and, if my mate Barney offers me a pint of Double Entendre, I’ll make it two.
