IF BULLSHIT could be used as fuel at our power stations, the Electircity Authority would never again have to buy oil. Originally inspired by the Cyprob, it is now produced on an industrial scale every day by the great and the good of Kyproulla.
For anyone unfamiliar with the word, Wikipedia says among other things: “It can be used as an interjection or as many other parts of speech and can carry a wide variety of meanings. Used as an interjection it protests the use of misleading, disingenuous, or false language. In philosophy, Harry Frankfurt, among others, analysed the concept of bullshit as related to but distinct from lying.
“It is commonly used to describe statements made by people more concerned with the response of the audience than in truth and accuracy, such as goal-oriented statements made in the field of politics or advertising.”
Princeton philosopher Harry Frankfurt published the essay On Bullshit while T.S. wrote a poem that he gave the title The Triumph of Bullshit. Neither piece of writing had anything to do with Kyproulla, which goes to show that BS is not exclusive to the sunshine isle.
WE DO however produce quantities way out of proportion to the size of our population. Take for instance the Air Traffic Controllers, who have been taking industrial action because they object to the freeze of CoLA and pay rises in the public sector.
They have been arguing that they should be exempted because their wages are not paid by the state but by the airlines. When told that the state cannot make exceptions, their stock response is that if they do not get their pay rises the state would lose four or five million in revenue over the next three years.
They claim that their concern is not that they would get zero pay rises, but that the state would lose money, if they are not paid more dosh. Whichever way you look at it, it is total BS – the controllers are closing down the airports and inconveniencing the public because they do not want the state to lose the €5m from the airlines. Give us a break.
It does not occur to these great altruists, on 150 grand a year, their strikes will cost the economy a lot more than the €5m they are trying to earn the state.
HIGH intelligence is quite clearly not a quality required of anyone who applies to become an overpaid air traffic controller. If it were, they would not be taking industrial action because they will not be getting a pay rise and bringing public attention to the obscene amounts they are paid because of the overtime regime.
The top 20 earners are paid in excess of 100 grand, a great part of which is overtime pay. The top earner makes €153,000 a year, of which €82,000 is overtime pay. Logically the state should hire 20 more controllers, and cut overtime.
The 20 highest earning controllers, according to data published by Politis, earned a total of €1.12 million in overtime last year, excluding December. Twenty new employees would cost a lot less. How stupid can these guys be, bringing attention to the overtime scam they have been operating for years and which has made them all wealthy?
Even more brainless was the initiative undertaken by three do-gooders, who supposedly worked out a formula by which the state would still earn the €5m from the airlines, without the controllers receiving pay rises. It just goes to show that there are idiots out there who believe the BS cited by the controllers to conceal their greed.
CYPRUS Airways pilots, having lost the title of ‘Greediest, most selfish and most irresponsible high earners of Cyprus’ to the air traffic controllers, were shaken out of their complacency and made a valiant bid to regain it.
They sent a list of totally unreasonable demands to the airline which is expected to record losses close to €40m in 2011.A spokesman of the pilots’ union, subsequently said the demands were a response to the management’s ludicrous proposal to make 22 changes to the collective agreement, and were not to be taken seriously.
Recognising that their jobs are not safe, the pilots, sadly, have lost their old arrogance and cockiness. On Wednesday they staged a very civilized demo outside the airline’s HQ in Nicosia, urging the board to find someone to buy the company, which could suffer the same fate as Eurocypria.
‘Here and now, a serious strategic investor for Cyprus Airways,’ read a banner held by the pilots. The use of the adjective ‘serious’ will restrict the board’s choice, because it is doubtful there are any ‘serious strategic investors’ prepared to pay good money to rescue a loss-making airline with huge debts, a crippling pay-roll and troublesome unions.
A pretty dumb strategic investor, I fear, is the pilots’ only hope.
RETURNING to the subject of BS, district court judges also made a modest contribution 10 days ago when they held a meeting to discuss how they would react to the pay-cuts that they would also suffer as public employees.
The meeting unanimously decided that it would appeal to the Supreme Court against the pay cuts, not because the judges were angry about the reduction of their take-home pay, but because the legislature’s decision “raises issues of constitutional order”.
According to the constitution, “the salaries and other services conditions for any judge cannot possibly be altered in a negative way (for the judge) after his appointment.” As the judges’ leader was quoted as saying, judges were not bothered about the money, but the constitutional aspect of the cuts.
AG Petros Clerides explained last year when the cuts were being discussed by the legislature, why the constitution contained such a provision. It was “to secure, among others, the independence of the judges, to ensure their salaries can’t be reduced in the event that, for any reason, they are being targeted because of their rulings.”
Everyone knows that the pay-cuts were made to save the state money and in no way targeted judges over their rulings, so why is there an issue of constitutional order? I will leave it there because I like to be on good terms with our district court judges, as you never know when you will be standing in front of one of them begging for clemency.
OVERJOYED to hear the DISY Fuhrer’s announcement that he will be a candidate in next year’s presidential elections. If he wins, we would have someone with a brain running the country, for a change. Commendably, Nik’s announcement had no BS content.
One of his opponents could be DISY MEP Eleni Theocharous, who revealed she might consider standing in an interview she gave to Simerini last Sunday. Asked whether she had thought about standing she said:
“It is true that many citizens ask me whether I would be a candidate and are urging me (to stand) for the presidency…. My ambition is to continue serving the country from whichever position it entrusts me… I believe that the people, regardless of party origins, are looking to elect a president who will inspire hope and lead them out of misery.”
The bash-patriotic Theocharous’ main weakness, apart from her pomposity and humourlessness, is that she takes herself far too seriously and has a natural talent for BS.
It was not even original BS, telling us that people were urging her to stand for president and that her ambition was – this is five-star BS – ‘to continue serving the country.’
BUT WHO are the people urging Ms Theocharous to run for the presidency – members of her family, her hairdresser, her taxi-driver or her plumber? To be fair, there is one man urging her to stand, the mighty owner of the Dias media group Zeus Hadjicostis, who likes to play kingmaker in his free time.
His organ, Simerini has been carrying stories about her prospective candidacy every day last week. On Tuesday, it objectively and reliably reported the following:
“A possible candidacy is viewed positively by the parties of the centre as well as by forces within DISY, which, as regards the Cyprus problem at least, feel they are on a common ideological-political platform with the forces of the centre who believe that Eleni Theocharous, with a clear and well-defined position on the Cyprus problem, but also with her broad social acceptance, could unite broader political and social forces.”
Zeus’ appointed saviour of the country has a weakness which the great man appears to have ignored, even though it makes her unelectable. She is a blonde.
ALTHOUGH he died 35 years ago, we still mark the name-day of Makarios on January 19. This gives the opportunity to the Lazarus radio show to broadcast excerpts of the last speech he made in July 1977, a speech high in BS content.
Responding to accusations of not being realistic with regard to the Cyprob, Makarios, who always used the royal plural, said “we are pragmatic, but we will never be excessively pragmatic.” This was the kind of wisdom imparted by Makarios. In the same speech he also stressed that we would continue our “long, unyielding a struggle for vindication.”
His unyielding struggle ended six weeks later, but 35 years on, we still refuse to be “excessively pragmatic.” We have also continued the “long, unyielding struggle” for higher wages, higher pensions, more allowances, more state handouts, so zealously, that the Republic has run out of money.
COMRADE Tof arrived in New York for the talks with Ban Ki-moon and Dervis Eroglu commencing tomorrow, carrying three ‘nos’ in his bag – no to time-frames, no to arbitration and no to a multi-party conference – without agreement of the core issues.
His positive, ‘no’ tactic has the unanimous backing of the National Council, which according to is spokesman, “strengthens the president’s position” at the talks. There was a fourth National Council-approved ‘no’ in his bag, but it was kept a secret, because he might not have to use it.
Only in the event that a fed-up Ban announces the termination of his good offices mission would the comrade utter the fourth ‘no’. We all hope it does not come to this and the comrade would be able to say at least one ‘yes’ – ‘yes’ to the continuation of unproductive, meaningless, Cypriot-owned talks, without time-frames, arbitration and any prospect of reaching a conclusion.
INTELLECTUALLY-challenged CyBC TV presenter Yiannakis Nicolaou showed his sophistication a few weeks ago, I was informed by Alecos Constantinides’ column in Alithia, when he decided to feature a little culture on his lunch-time show.
Nicolaou had invited as his guest Irena Ioannidou-Adamidou, who had translated into Greek the play by Paul Rudnick, I Hate Hamlet, being staged by Theatro Ena. Having listened to what his guest had to say, Nicolaou, who spends most of the show spouting out his own, unintelligent views, revealed that he also hated Hamlet.
“I hate him because he is English,” he said
THE PANCYPRIAN Association of Willie Nelson fans took great offence at the publication by Simerini of a picture of their hero with a news report about old men taking up dope-smoking. The picture showed Nelson with a joint in his mouth. But as his fans know, Nelson had been smoking weed all his adult life and did not pick up the habit in old age. He had been arrested for possession and is a campaigner for the legalizing of marijuana. A couple of years ago he told Larry King that he had smoked before appearing on his CNN show.
Despite his addiction the 78-year-old Nelson is still alive and kicking. On turning 75, he declared, “I have outlived my pecker.”
