APRIL 1 not only marks Cyprus’ independence struggle from British colonial rule but also an occasion to outright lie and play tricks on unsuspecting innocents. Newspapers in Cyprus yesterday were no exception.
‘Cyprus is ready to host Gaddafi,’ said Alithia going for the international angle. “According to our sources President Christofias has sent word to Muammar Gaddafi that Cyprus is ready to host him if he decides to leave Libya,” the article read. Christofia’s summerhouse in Kellaki was chosen as the best location to host the dictator where “there is a big garden to pitch a tent to accommodate Gaddafi and his family.”
“Large gold deposits in Limassol tower,” read Haravghi who went for a more subtle headline. The article offered a historical context to explain the existence of gold, quoting Valuable Metal magazine as ranking Cyprus among the top ten countries likely to have gold and precious metals.
‘Emergency conference tomorrow at DIKO’, was Simerini’s attempt at a joke story. The paper claimed that coalition partner DIKO was advised to leave the government partnership with ruling AKEL. “Reliable sources inform us that [DIKO leader] Marios Garoyan has in his possession a top secret report from the party’s spin doctors who urge him to start planning the party’s exit strategy from government.”
‘Averoff goes to APOEL,’ was the April Fool’s headline in Politis. The paper was making a joke out of APOEL’s snub to DISY leader Nicos Anastassiades who was due to address an April 1 event. The event was cancelled after the club’s fans made it clear they would not accept Anastassiades whose position on the Cyprus problem they found insulting. Politis claimed DISY’s second-in-command, Averoff Neophytou, would go in his place. “Both sides recognised that Neophytou was a less ardent supporter of the Anan plan than Anastassiades,” Politis joked.
The Cyprus Mail’s tongue-in-cheek article talked of ‘fast-track citizenship 20,000 migrants’ concocting the Exploitation of Migrants Association in its efforts not to sound too convincing. The article talked of a number of happy, naturalised foreigners. One of the new citizens “had already scheduled her Orthodox baptism… but had not yet decided which football team to support.” Meanwhile, the Exploitation of Migrants Association said they were “not thrilled that [their] source of cheap labour might dry up.”
