HOW does one make sense of a people who have reduced their formerly wonderful cuisine to a choice between souvla or take-away, who drive mostly Mercs and BMWs, who support their local church, hairdresser or football club with unparalleled fanaticism, who have 50,000 so called ‘chasseurs’ shooting anything that moves, be it fowl or game, who read three different newspapers every Sunday and disagree with everything that’s written, transmit five separate TV news channels simultaneously, break traffic laws with impunity, employ more teachers and lawyers per head of the population than their EU partners, keep 56 MPs (plus six MEPs) in the lap of luxury to serve a population of fewer than 750,000 – one for every13,000 when Britain employs one for every 90,000 – and who pander to an oversized civil service in denial of our Finance Minister’s ability (he who secretly shores up banks and property developers with bond issues) to pay them? Easy, just take a glance at the number of political parties – this murder of cackling crows – and you’ll understand why this half country and its people are ungovernable.
The Progressive Party of Working People (AKEL) claims to support an independent, demilitarised and non-aligned Cyprus and a federal solution of the internal aspect of the Cyprob (noble aspirations) placing particular emphasis on rapprochement with Turkish speaking Cypriots (even nobler).
AKEL supported entry into the European Union with certain reservations and initially supported the Annan Plan, performing an about turn at the very last minute. In the elections of 21 May 2006, the party won 18 out of 56 parliamentary seats. Had AKEL not changed direction on the Annan Plan it would have been adopted.
The Democratic Rally (DISY) is a centre-right political party led by Nicos Anastassiades. It was founded on July 4 1976 by veteran politician Glafkos Clerides, who served as president from 1993 until 2003. DISY supported the 2004 Annan Plan. In the elections of 2006, the party won 18 out of 56 seats. Many see Anastassiades as the only man capable of solving the Cyprob…one way or another!
The Democratic Party (DIKO) was founded in 1976 by Spyros Kyprianou. It propounds the political philosophy of Social Centrism. In the elections of 2006, the party won 11 out of 56 seats. When their then leader, Tassos Papadopoulos was defeated in the February 2008 presidential election, DIKO announced second round support for the AKEL candidate, Christofias. Centrism means sitting eternally on the fence and living off the scraps, as does today’s DIKO leader, Garoyian.
The Movement for Social Democracy (EDEK) was founded in 1969 by Dr Vassos Lyssarides. Initially known as United Democratic Union of the Centre, EDEK is led by the loquacious, Yiannakis Omirou. In the 2006 elections the party won five out of 56 seats. It backed Christofias in the second round of the 2008 presidential election. In February 2010 EDEK withdrew their backing, disagreeing with Christofias’ handling of the Cyprob. Omirou, like his predecessor, Lyssarides, possesses that quality of walnut veneer on antique furniture, smooth and overindulgent.
The European Party (Evroko) was founded in 2005 following rejection of the Annan Plan by a group of DISY MPs who opposed the party line and were expelled. They formed Evroko largely out of the parties, New Horizons and European Democracy. In the 2006 elections the party won only three out of 56 seats – angry men left out in the cold!
The Ecological and Environmental Movement (Cyprus Green Party) won one out of 56 seats. Iouanna Panayiotou, party secretary and spokesperson lacks charisma on camera unless stood beside that lovely blond co-worker rather than her boss and solitary MP, George Perdikis.
The United Democrats (EDI) is a liberal political party founded in 1993 by former president, George Vassiliou. It later merged with ADISOK (a group of ex-AKEL members) to form the United Democrats. It supported the Annan Plan and in the 2006 elections lost parliamentary representation.
The Fighting Democratic Movement (ADIK) is for those who wish to continue the ‘struggle’ for Enosis. In 2006 it lost parliamentary representation. Full bellies stop struggling.
The Cyprus Social Ecology Movement (not be confused with the Green Party) was founded in an effort to raise awareness of serious social and environmental problems. Their aim is to seek a better quality of life, a cleaner and healthier island and a respectable living standard for all. They are not represented in parliament; after all, what better quality of life is there anywhere else?
CWI Cyprus is part of the Committee for a Workers International and lacks parliamentary representation due to our civil servants not working.
And last, but far from least, is the Church, whose leader, Archbishop Chrysostomos rules over us all from above. Wise and percipient sheep of His Beatitude’s flock dare not move without his blessing.
Today, no one political party will ever again win a ruling majority since many blame Makarios’ totalitarian regime for the division of the island. Unfortunately, without a majority little of consequence ever gets done, our philosophy being that if we do nothing, nothing more can go wrong – or as the Spanish might say, ‘que no se pasa nada…’
Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and corruption is fed to us in small and persistent doses by whichever political alliance is in power.
Policed we certainly aren’t (a good thing for the corrupt) other than seeing those familiar faces of Spokesman Katsounotos, Chief Papageorgiou, Attorney-general Clerides or his deputy, Loucaides dispelling fears of corruption on our TV screens most nights even as our drug squad, YKAN disperses cannabis freely throughout the island and our government gives away 35 million euros to a bankrupt airline, waffles on about resolving the title deeds scandal, public debt and the Cyprob, while grossly miscalculating the taxes owed by the Church and rigging deputies’ expense accounts in an effort to pay them exorbitant pensions, etc. Most of their hands in the till and none to the plough! Thieving, lying, cheating, two faced…! Control yourself, they’re politicians aren’t they? A murder of cackling crows.
There are parliamentary elections next year. Et merde alors!
