Let out the writer within by telling your life story, says JO PARFITT who runs programmes helping people retell their experiences
When I was a child my grandparents lived round the corner and so I was lucky enough to spend time with them every week. I can still recall the smell of cheap beef boiling on the stove ready for the dog’s supper and the see-through garnet-coloured oval of Pears soap beside the pink bathroom basin. I can remember how I would help my grandfather wind the grandmother clock in the hall and how, when I had stayed the night, I would watch my grandparents drink their morning tea in bed. There was always a McVities digestive biscuit in the saucer.
“Tell me a story about the olden days,” I’d beg Granny, as I hopped in to share her single bed, cosy under the peach satin eiderdown. She would tell me about her childhood in the East End of London, about how they were so poor that marketstall holders would give her family the unsold, bruised, fruit at the end of the day, while the baker gave them sunken cakes. She slept with her seven brothers and sisters under coats in the one bedroom they all shared.
Stories like these are priceless. And now, as I look back over my life, 21 years of which I have lived abroad, I recognise that I too should tell my story, but just as importantly, I should encourage my parents to tell theirs too. These stories are made up of experiences, people we have met, our mistakes and triumphs and the places we have lived. Writing them down helps us digest and process the things we have done. It also creates a legacy for our children and grandchildren.
You may have noticed the growing number of memoirs in the travelogue or memoir sections of bookshops lately. It seems that the huge success of Peter Mayle’s A Year in Provence became the start of a trend. The rise of reality TV has led us to become more interested in finding out about the lives of ordinary people. In addition, the last decade has seen a growth in the accessibility of self-publishing. Online publishing options have become affordable and readily available. CreateSpace allows anyone to publish a book at no cost and make it available to buy via Amazon. But publishing a book for commercial reasons may not be your goal. You may just want to compile your family stories or recipes into a beautiful colour book with photographs and use an online publisher such as BobBooks or Blurb to produce a short print run. If you have no desire to be in print then begin by buying a beautiful notebook, giving yourself some time to sit and reflect and get writing.
If you live in a culture that is different from the one in which you grew up, it is a given that you will have lots to write about. You can recall stories of moving in, culture shock, language problems, making new friends, having family to stay, navigating the healthcare system, the schools, the roads and so on.
Cherry Denman is the wife of a British diplomat and her hilarious memoir, Diplomatic Incidents, has just been published by Wiley. She was asked at her recent book launch where she got her inspiration. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” she said. “And I guess I must be happening prone!”
And she is right. A good story needs to have something that happens in it. If you live abroad those incidents can be to do with normal life and yet still be interesting to the reader. Write about the places that those incidents occur. Describe the scene. Add people to your stories and make them talk. With dialogue your stories become interesting and compelling rather than just a list of incidents.
If you want to start writing your stories then one of the best things you can do is to start reading other books so you can decide what style might suit you. Here are some examples:
Stories
If you want to write a collection of stories then read Cherry Denman’s Diplomatic Incidents. Try Paul Carter’s Don’t Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I am a Piano Player in a Whorehouse. Any of David Sedaris’ essays are great examples of how to write stories. Collections of stories by a variety of authors include They Only Laughed Later, edited by Carol Allen, Tales from the Expat Harem, edited by Anastasia Ashman and Jennifer Eaton Gokmen and Cupids Wild Arrows, by Dianne Dicks.
Childhood
If you want to write about your childhood, then try Libby Purves’ Holy Smoke, which is about her childhood overseas. Ruth van Reken’s Letters tells of her life as a missionary kid, sent to boarding school in Africa from the age of five.
Chronological
Books that tell a story from start to finish, and that happen over time include Catherine Sanderson’s La Petite Anglaise, Cathy Dobson’s Planet Germany and John Mole’s It’s all Greek to Me as well as anything by Dervla Murphy or the Narrow Dog books by Terry Darlington.
What next?
The next step, once you have read other books in this genre, may be to take a writing course. Then join a writers’ circle so that you can get feedback on what you are doing and finally, I would put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just start.
You know, all the stories you need are with you already, there in your mind. Don’t let them stay there. Share them.
