JOHN HUMPHRYS the veteran voice of Radio 4’s Today programme once said when asked to chair Mastermind – it was ‘money for old rope’. Probably true, compared to the early mornings and in-depth research needed to be one of Britain’s most tenacious interviewers; but at least one can understand why he might be worth the money. He brings to the quiz show gravitas and integrity. We trust him.
But, this week has once again seen British politicians showing that their interpretation of rules and regulations is far looser than most of us ever would be allowed in our own professions. Anyone who watched the brilliant expose on Channel 4’s Dispatches programme last week which saw ex-British cabinet ministers grovelling to be taken on by a sham lobbying company and saw them salivating at the thought of all those mega bucks for acting as go-betweens to use their influence to set up meetings, could only be disgusted. For about the only time in my life I found myself agreeing with Peter Mandelson who called it, “grubby”. Grubby it might be, but as Stephen Byers likened himself to a ‘cab for hire’ and set his daily rate at 5000 pounds, it’s a nice fare if you can get it.
In the same week other MPs, like Andrew Dismore, who apparently has been failing to declare fact finding missions and jollies in return for political favours, have also been called to account. So what I want to know is: how does one get on to this magic merry-go-round of endorsement and perk? We might have the occasional Christmas party and knees up, the away day in a five star hotel and a night down the pub for the quiz night, but it hardly compares.
The light on the top of my taxi definitely says “For Hire”, but the truth is probably no one would want to rent me, because clichéd as sounds as recession kicks in it really is not what you know but who you know. We live in a world increasingly being dominated by ‘networks’. Even if I could find a few decent contacts, thought I am not sure I’d be prepared to hand their numbers over, it would smack of desperation and who wants to grovel for old rope when you know where that rope comes from: grubby indeed.
For history tells us that old rope came from the hangman’s noose, bits cut off to sell to the crowd as a memento of the killing to boost the earnings of the man in the black hood.
I prefer the other saying ‘give someone enough rope and they’ll hang themselves’, because the complacency shown by Britain’s ex Defence Minister, Geoff Hoon and co in thinking you can never be caught – and especially on camera, means that for once their cabs were really taken for a ride.
