YOU HAD to admire the assertive way our comrade Presidente accosted President Obama last Sunday in Prague. As world leaders prepared for the obligatory family, he headed straight towards Obama, shook his hand and like some time-share salesman started talking to him.
The leader of the Mediterranean nano-power showed no signs of nerves or inferiority complex, speaking to the leader of the world superpower as an equal. He even took the liberty of grabbing Obama’s arm, which was rudely over-familiar, as he lectured him on how he could help solve the Cyprob.
Grabbing and holding the arm of a man you have just met, shows an embarrassing lack of manners, doubly so, when the arm belongs to the president of the US of A. It is not as if the the comrade was speaking to an old friend, not even to an old acquaintance and felt the need to make physical contact.
He had only met the guy five seconds earlier and was touching him like he was an old lost friend. To be fair to the comrade, it takes a hell of a lot of confidence and self-belief, to behave like a true horkatos when meeting the most powerful man in the world for the first time.
This was the diekdikitiki (assertive) foreign policy, which Dr Lyssarides and his brave followers have been demanding all these years, in action. But did any of these armchair liberators congratulate the presidente for his achievement?
ANOTHER illustration of our leader’s self-belief and boundless confidence was that without being invited to do so he positioned himself right next to Obama, in the front row of the group of leaders, for the ‘family photograph’ – superpower leader next to nano-power leader.
While everyone would like to be photographed standing next the most powerful man in the world, so he could show his mum, relatives and friends, back in the village, the inevitable comparisons that would be made would not be very flattering.
Obama – tall, slim, fit, handsome and with real presence – effortlessly attracted all the attention, making it almost impossible for anyone to notice that someone, short, chubby, unfit and not very handsome was standing next to him.
If the opportunity to pose next to Obama, comes again in the future, the comrade would do well to dye his hair purple if he wants to be noticed.
SPEAKING to hacks after his historic, one-minute chat with President Obama, comrade Tofias said: “I urged Barack Obama to use his influence on Turkey so that the aims of his programme as well, for the ending of the occupation in our country and for the re-unification of our country and our people, could be realised.”
Well, to be fair, speaking to the Turkish National Assembly, the following day, Obama voiced his support for a bi-communal federation in Cyprus, even though he forgot to mention the bit the comrade told him about ending the occupation.
It is just as well, that the comrade did not rely exclusively on Obama to get his message across to the Turks. “My friend Berlusconi promised he would talk to Turkey,” he told hacks after the historic handshake with Obama.
A shocking revelation – how could the puritanical disciple of Marx and Lenin be a friend of a committed neo-liberal, fun-loving, billionaire businessman who sucks the blood of the workers for breakfast every day and bombards them with TV sub-culture every night?
CONSPIRACY theorist, book author, anti-US bash-patriot and hero of our establishment, Michalis Ignatiou was in Turkey to cover Obama’s visit and had the inspiration to coin a new phrase. He authoritatively described the US president as ‘the agent of Ankara’, in one report, and his new phrase was immediately adopted by the editorial-writer of Phil.
This was how Iggy put it: “President Obama yesterday played the agent of Ankara in Turkey’s effort to secure her accession to the EU, as he mixed up seriousness with the plums of Turkey.”
Iggy was one of the many hacks who were horrified because the meeting between the ‘agent of Ankara’ and the Patriarch of Constantinople had been downgraded and the US administration had made an effort to keep Bartholomeos ‘out of the frame’, because of Turkish pressure.
No pictures or film footage had been taken by the official White House publicity crew of the meeting, which according to authoritative Iggy, had ‘disappeared’ from the official schedule and press releases of the White House.
All this was reported in Wednesday’s papers, but none of the hacks had bothered to check out the White House web-site which had posted a picture of the meeting on Tuesday at 12 noon, US time and Patriarch was very much in the frame.
THERE WAS another aspect of the meeting that was ‘worrying’ according to the intrepid correspondent. ‘Ankara’s agent’ did “not invite Bartholomeos to the White House, despite the fact that the Patriarch had announced to Mr Obama that he would be in Washington the first few days of November.”
This business with the invitations to the White House and the State Department has become a running joke, with the Cypriot correspondents in Washington and the Cypriot lobby acting as if an official visit is of critical importance. But is there anyone else in the world, who like Iggy, was worrying because Ankara’s agent did not invite Bart to the White House in November?
If the worrying starts to affect Iggy’s sleep, he should contact us and I will give him the address of a Greek pharmacist in Astoria who would sell him a pack Ativan without a prescription.
IN THE END, despite the valiant efforts of Iggy, Zoumbaniotis and the Cyprus lobby, to have Mehmet Ali’s visit to the State Department cancelled, the former fridge technician will have his meeting with Hillary this Wednesday.
First the self-appointed diplomats had boasted that Talat would not be meeting Hillary. When they realised that this was wishful thinking, they demanded that she should meet our foreign traveler Marcos Kyprianou before Talat. She met him last weekend in Prague.
Presumably the meeting was ‘out of the frame’, because it did not satisfy our boys in Washington, who then set a new condition. Marcos must see Hillary in Washington before Talat’s visit there. Sadly the Yanks did not oblige and Turkey’s puppet will visit the State Department before our Marcos who will have to sacrifice Easter in Kyprianoulla with his family in order to be in Washington for a meeting with Hillary on Orthodox Easter Monday.
The Cypriot lobby’s pitiful efforts to show that it is a key player in Washington have ruined our Marcos’ Easter and for what? For a monumentally unnecessary meeting, the only purpose of which is for the Cyprus lobby to save face.
THE LEADING patriotic party DIKO looked even more ridiculous than the Cyprus lobby this week as it desperately tried to find six candidates for the European Parliament elections. The Madsakis option was rejected, but it is difficult to understand why after seeing the people who were chosen.
Things must have got really desperate for the party to include two female candidates – the great Antigoni and a businesswoman – and three non-members of the party. Another candidate is the chairman of DIKO UK, who presumably lives in England and should not represent Kyproulla in Strasbourg.
IF ADDITIONAL proof were needed of DIKO’s desperation, we only have to mention the inclusion in the candidates of non-member Demetris Souglis, the extreme right-wing hack and TV presenter. Souglis will always be remembered for two things. In October 2004, after being verbally attacked by one of his guests he turned to the camera and announced, “I am an ass. I am a fool and half.”
But his finest moment came a few months later when during a live show in which he repeatedly insulted the DISY Fuhrer, Nik called up and be
rated Souglis for his lack of professionalism and objectivity. After and angry exchange on air, a defiant Souglis turned to the camera and announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have failed as a journalist. And here the show ends.” He walked out of the studio and submitted his resignation to the Antenna boss who refused to accept it.
Several shrinks have expressed an interest in Souglis’ candidacy. They want to see how a man with such low self-esteem would campaign for votes.
NEWSPAPERS made a lot out of the unwillingness of any of the newly-elected top brass of DIKO to stand in the elections. Apart from the fact that DIKO members do not travel well, the top guys need to be here to defend Kyproulla from the unfair, unjust settlement that comrades Talat and Tofias would try to impose by the end of the year.
All the top brass need to be here to ensure that the Cyprob is not closed prematurely. As the party deputy leader Giorgos Colocassides, never tires of telling us, “The Cyprus problem is the raison d’etre of DIKO.” And I thought it was rusfeti, but I often get things wrong. The demise of DIKO is reason enough to support a settlement.
THE CYPROB has inspired countless idiotic quotes such as the above, most of which are coined by Dr Faustus. The one he has repeatedly used and uttered last weekend again, to justify why he would not agree to a federal settlement, deserves inclusion in the top ten of all time. “We will not commit suicide because they are threatening to murder us.” Dr Faustus will commit suicide after they murder us, because without the Cyprob he will also have lost his raison d’etre.
ANYONE who watched the Monty Python film Life of Brian would remember the sketch about the People’s Front of Judaea, a liberation movement that wanted to kick the Roman occupiers out. There was also a rival liberation group known as the Judean People’s Front, which the People’s Front hated more than the Romans.
I was reminded of this a couple of days ago when I received an e-mail from the Movement (Kinisi) for the Re-Unification of Cyprus, a group of Turk-loving do-gooders. The movement warned that it had nothing to do with the Movement (Kinima) for the Re-Unification of Cyprus that was contesting the European Parliament elections. Among its candidate was a supermarket owner from Limassol and the first ever Pontian to stand in elections.
STAYING on the subject of movements, we have to mention that one of our many movements has turned into an author. I refer to the Movement for Freedom and Justice in Cyprus, which on Wednesday organised a presentation for the first book it has authored.
The book, Bloody Truth, is a history of Cyprus from 1950 onwards and aims to put the record straight after the recent attempts by the Education Ministry and others to distort our history. The movement is the brainchild of Panos Ioannides, also known as Pip, a 24-carat patriot who gives regular ultra-nationalistic sermons on the Lazaros radio show.
The book, which was reportedly put together by some 30 researchers, is in Greek and English, and according to Pip contains all the truth about the Cyprob. Even though the author was the movement, Mr Pip was signing the book for the old age pensioners who bought it. Archbishop Chrys, who probably paid for it, was at the launch. If the book has the endorsement of the Archbishop then it must contain the absolute truth and only the truth about our history.
