MARGARET Clough isn’t the type to mope. Since losing her loving husband last year, she has avoided the fall into despondency. But there’s no denying the loneliness – especially on Sundays.
“That’s the day my husband and I got together with friends and we would drive into the countryside for a nice lunch,” she said. “I miss that Sunday gathering experience.”
Margaret is not alone in her loneliness. Unexpected loneliness often results when either a once loving, companionable partner dies, or when the money someone has saved no longer stretches to buying such ‘treats’ as dining out or being able to afford to indulge in regular socialising.
Some expats can simply pack their bags and head back to the land of their birth, blissfully secure in the knowledge that children and grandchildren will end their loneliness.
For many though this isn’t an option, they have settled here and are determined to live out their lives in Cyprus.
Margaret and some friends have refused to allow loneliness determine their lives. Instead, they are trying to do something about those within their community who, through a variety of circumstances have a need for selective company – on a purely informal, rather fun basis. Enter the ‘Sunday Lunch Club’.
“I decided what was needed was to see if there were others like me who would enjoy getting together on this ‘family’ day to just chat, eat, drink and generally relax in the company of interesting people,” said Margaret.
She’s quick to stress that this informal weekly gathering is not a singles’ club. “It’s a day to determine a different angle to the week, to choose to integrate with others and already we have some very interesting people coming on a reasonably regular basis.” Because money is particularly tight these days, especially for those living on a pension, the lunches often place in people’s homes, with the occasional outing to a taverna perhaps once a month or so.
“If it’s in a home environment then people are asked to contribute a bottle of wine or a dish of food. This can be cooked or uncooked or whatever, as the oven is always on,” said Margaret. “I’m ready to accept everything from sausage rolls to pizzas. It’s not really about the food anyway. It’s about the chat, and the opportunity to meet and find out about other people in a really relaxed informal atmosphere.”
The lunchtime I arrived at Margaret’s home, there were mainly ladies in attendance. Don’t men dread empty Sundays too?
“We do have some men who come along but more would certainly balance out things a bit. Maybe they are frightened that here we are a group of single women all about to leap on them, that’s just silly of course.
“The real reason I feel is that women are much more adaptable at forging social links later in life, when many men are still struggling with loneliness as their constant companion and are unwilling to admit they are lonely.”
They are missing out on a lot. Sitting there in Margaret’s kitchen, nibbling on curried eggs and hot sausage rolls in the company of very interesting women all from hugely differing backgrounds and opinions, was a stimulating, enjoyable way to spend a Sunday. Watching SKY television alone with the company of a baked potato during a deadly Sunday afternoon simply doesn’t compare.
Chrissie Jackson has lived here for 19 years and certainly hasn’t slipped into a retirement that leaves her open to loneliness. This is one busy lady, so why does she make the effort on a Sunday to come along? “The week used to be defined by Sundays when I was working. Now the week is defined by me alone, but I do like meeting new people and I tend to know a lot of married friends but not so many single people. So it’s nice to come and learn things and find out how other ‘singles’ are coping.”
Glenda Atley only recently retired to Paphos having come from the voluntary sector in the UK where she had the hugely responsible job of looking after teenage mothers and the fostering of children. “I feel I still have so much to offer but as I am relatively new here, and on my own, I get to learn things here in this company and it’s a good support to me finding my feet in a different country,” she said.
Chrissie Eldridge has lived here for two years. “I was very much into sport in my previous life. I helped organise ProAm tennis and golf tournaments. I still love sports and indulge as often as I can but you do need to meet and gain stimuli from new people because you never know what friendships or contacts you can find and that’s fun.”
Mavis Wood describes Sunday as a “bad day” because she has usually spent Saturday on her own. “Like Margaret if you have been so used to being a couple, once you lose your partner it’s difficult to adjust to being entirely alone at home. I always used to cook a full Sunday lunch every week, and I miss that activity. That’s why I now look forward to and really enjoy these Sunday gatherings.”
The cynics among us might subscribe to Orson Wells’ rather gloomy view on life: “We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” Illusion or not, there’s one day a week when Margaret and friends are not alone.
If you would like to know more about these Sunday Lunch gatherings
Contact Margaret on 99871 508
