Time for government to support our luxury lifestyles?
Poor old Larry Flynt. Apparently even the porno DVD business has fallen on soft times and he’s hoping Uncle Sam will rise to the occasion with a bailout. Is there no end to the credit crunchies and the accompanying doom and gloom? It’s all very well pumping cash into boring old banks, but, er, didn’t they get us into this mess in the first place? It’s about time this illusion that everything will be fine was backed up with action. For that we need some government support for the fantabulous world of haute couture and designer brands.
Not a plea that’s likely to elicit much sympathy from AKEL, but if I was Finance Minister Charilaos Stavrakis I’d consider it. Imagine if any of the shops on Nicosia’s Stassicratous Street fell victim. What would replace them? A periptero or betting shop? Talk about a pork chop at a bar mitzvah.
There is a global hierarchy of super wealthy which isn’t the slightest bit bothered about the financial downturn. We need indulgent brand havens to attract them and their spending power. Just the knowledge that emergency designer therapy was at hand stopped Trudi and Sting from bolting after his Limassol gig. A Stassicratous visit allegedly featured in Mick Hucknall’s performance rider. If someone had properly briefed Sir Elton on shopping options when he came here a few years back perhaps he wouldn’t have left the engines running on the Larnaca tarmac during his performance.
What if Madonna decides to pop over and visit us? She’ll sulk if there’s a gyros stand in lieu of a pricey boutique. I am still reeling from the ear bashing I got over our last Mall of Engomi visit. I’m not even going to think about what P. Diddy would do if his ability to drop a million or two was compromised.
We’re in Europe now and are competing with London, Paris, Milan and Madrid. The outward impression of the metropolis should reflect that status. I’d take financial support and subsidy further. I’d subsidise luxury car ownership.
When Steven Gerrard recently got his collar felt in a nightclub his Bentley remained parked overnight at the scene of the crime. No problem for Mrs G who turned up to collect him from chokey in their other Bentley Continental. How cool is that for a frozen northern city? To the casual observer they are holding their heads high above turbulent economic waters. Investors are reassured and the hoi polloi have something to gawp at.
Apparently we are largely immune from the financial crisis in Cyprus. That’s not as convincing to an outsider if our streets are overpopulated with double cabins and fat blokes on tiny motorcycles. It wouldn’t do the feel good factor any harm to have a few Phantoms, Bugattis and Maybachs dotted around. The problem is the exorbitant import duty. It’s too high so nobody buys these cars. OK so why not scrap it for a year or two to stimulate a bit of auto eye candy for the island? It won’t actually cost anything and it’s not immoral, like bailing out greedy bankers.
I’d certainly do my bit for the greater good of the economy. I fancy a Bentley… in fact I’m partial to anything with more than one exhaust pipe, or tail pipe as we petrol heads call them. Imagine the howls of protest from weirdy beardy environmentalists. That would be an added bonus.
No one wants to destroy the world. It’s just that there is a certain faction of intelligentsia who present man-made climate change as indisputable fact. They always emphasise cause rather than treatment of the effects. That’s disturbing given underlying political and commercial agendas plus mounting dissent in the scientific community. If you dare ask for an idiot guide explanation you face a barrage of vitriolic abuse. I had an elderly secondary school teacher who told us he’d invented the helicopter and could communicate with common garden birds in a secret language. He didn’t take questions either.
The stakes couldn’t be any higher and I don’t mean for the planet. If convinced, I would have to take appropriate action. Can you imagine even considering one of those preposterous fluorescent Postman Pat electric ‘cars’? They don’t boost a country’s profile. They make it look like Toy Town.
So let’s celebrate luxury items this year for the good of the country. If you can’t afford it, join me in applauding those that can. Together we can beat the recessionary blues. Yes we can.
