THE POWERS that be have asked me to pick a story I’ve covered this year and explain, in no more than 400 words, why I enjoyed writing about it. You know, a story that got me fired up, pumped, the juices flowing etc.
So here goes. Let me put my thinking cap on (no really, I have a cap). Oh yeah, there was the one about the prostitute who started giving driving lessons to supplement her income because of the credit crunch…no, scratch that. Um…what about the politician who doggedly refused to have a street named after him, protesting that his privacy was being violated and…nah, forget it. Already I’m hating this.
Wait, what’s the word count again?
Funny how writer’s block has a habit of hitting at the worst possible time.
Hold on. I seem to have had what is referred to in wordsmith circles as an epiphany. Yep, I’ve actually remembered a story I enjoyed. It’s the one about the chairman of Anorthosis football club, who was accused of big-time embezzlement. Andreas Panteli, you remember him don’t you?
Ok, I’m on a roll now. I shall be attacking this item by employing the device in journalism known as the five Ws: Who, What, Where, When and Why.
The ‘Who’ you already know: Andreas Panteli.
Now the ‘What’. What did I like about this story? What’s there not to like? Every once in a while there comes along one that smacks you across the face and reminds you – in case you dared forget – what a comedy it is to live in this country.
I’m not even going to go into whether the actual allegations were true or false. No-siree-bob, as the Americans would say. I ain’t touching that kipper. Instead, let’s look at how the whole affair played out, from start to end.
Here’s a guy who pleads his innocence, denying that he took cash from Champions League proceeds and stashed it into a personal account. You start feeling for him. Maybe his accusers (the club’s board of directors) really do have it in for him. Maybe, now that the once poor club is swimming in euros, someone wants to get rid of Panteli so that they can get their hands on all that bread. He’s the fall guy, right?
But then the boy goes and does something, well, dumb. He refuses to cooperate with detectives, and keeps his mouth shut. If you’re innocent as a lamb, and someone wrongly accuses you, why be silent?
And if Panteli had “incontrovertible evidence” of his innocence (as his lawyer claimed), why not use it? Incidentally, the attorney in question was later fired during a live television show. Awesome.
Next, the board moved to vote Panteli out while he was behind bars – how convenient. Anyway, the two sides cut a deal, whereby Panteli agreed to resign and return any money “that may be found to be owed”. You can tell a mile away that it was a lawyer who drafted that statement. In return, the club dropped the charges.
Back up a little here. Is it just me, or is there something truly warped about this whole deal? Board of directors, I ask you: if the money is returned, then it’s no harm done? C’est fini? Water under the bridge? Mr. Panteli: if you’re so adamant about your innocence then why resign? Doesn’t that send out the wrong message?
It gets better. The board went to the police and reported two or three instances of wrongdoing, giving details of the amounts missing from the club’s funds. A couple of days later, they started publicly threatening to make more revelations about the rest of the cash missing from Anorthosis’ coffers The implication was that more money had been taken and they could give additional statements to the police.
What in the hell’s bells is this? Information on a need-to-know basis kind of thing? Saving the best for last?
But the most delicious bit by far was when a gentleman by the name of Antonis Fanieros stepped up. Fanieros, a well-known businessman and an avid supporter of Anorthosis, generously offered to help the club with a bailout package.
Declaring his love for Anorthosis, Fanieros, owner of gambling establishments, revealed that recently he had donated a brand-new jeep to the club. It’s no secret of course that he’s one of the club’s financial backers.
Jesus H Christ. Yes, what better person, what better model citizen to vouch for you just as you’re desperately trying to clean up your image, telling everyone that it’s all been a misunderstanding, that actually everything is squeaky clean.
Can anyone say “whitewash”? We’ve seen it all before, sure. Once the club’s board let Panteli off the hook, this automatically deprived the police of the bulk of the supposedly incriminating material against the former chairman. Little wonder, then, that the investigation hit a dead end and had to be shut down ASAP.
By the way, I’m no expert, but once you make an allegation, concerning embezzlement no less, don’t you also have an obligation under the law to follow through since this is now a criminal matter? In short, under normal circumstances the accusers themselves should have got into trouble with authorities. But I guess that would be asking too much, so let’s drop it.
And the icing on the cake: Panteli could stand for re-election as head of the club when its next summit convenes in January. Reportedly, he plans to do just that. Amazing how things pan out.
This story landed out of the blue, like a summer shower storm sweeping all before it and then, just as dramatically, vanished, gone in an instant. Like it never happened. And you’re left wondering what to make of it all. Classic Cyprus stuff.
Which brings us to the ‘Where’. Where do I like this story? Nope, that doesn’t make any sense, so we’ll skip it.
‘When’ do I like it? Now and always, forever.
Finally, the ‘Why’. Pretty self-explanatory, assuming you’ve read this far.
There, done. Happy New Year, people.
