MUCH AS we hate repeating what other columnists write, we would like to advise our customers not to get carried away by the election of Barack Obama and start thinking that immediately after his investiture he would impose a fair, just and lasting settlement of the Cyprob, free of settlers, troops and Turkish Cypriots.
It may take him a little longer, which is why, like Phil, we urge everyone to keep both feet on the ground, despite the fact that “international developments are usually linked to the prospects of the Cyprus problem”. As my grandmother would say keep your hopes low to avoid getting disappointed in the future.
Wiser heads than my grandmother, the editorial-writers of Simerini, believe that there are two positive points – “the Greek lobby will have easier access to the White House than before and, second, the Greeks of Greece and Cyprus are in the inner circle of the new president and soon it will become clear to what extent they could influence him on Greek issues.”
Our caring, humanist presidente did not take the endearing, provincial approach, expressing the wish that Obama would live up to the expectations of the American people for “a more human behaviour towards them and the creation of a more human society in the US.”
As regards the Cyprob, according to the commie mouthpiece, Haravghi, Christofias said, “we are waiting by the phone Mr Obama.” Well, our man was not among the nine world leaders Mr Obama had phone conversations with on Friday, raising serious fears that the solution of the Cyprob would not be among his priorities.
WE KYPROULLANS were very impressed that the Yanks voted a black man as presidente, but it was clear the morning after the election that some radio presenters were in a bit of quandary on how to refer to his racial background.
On one radio show, both presenter and his guest repeatedly referred to the ‘negro’ president, clearly unaware that this was an offensive term. They did not use the Greek equivalent of ‘black’ (mavros) because in Cyprus it has always been regarded deeply offensive.
During the referendum, the most popular term of abuse directed at the UN Secretary-General, Kofi Annan, by opponents of his peace plan including uneducated deputies, was ‘o mavros’. This was why the radio presenter considered ‘negro’ a more respectful term.
By the evening, the problem was solved as some hacks had discovered the term Afro-American, which Obama will remain until he starts to favour Turkey. Then we will revert to calling him ‘o mavros’.
THE CORRESPONDENT of the CyBC in the US, Apostolis Zoumbaniotis did not pull any punches in his live report about the racist stance of the Greek Americans in the elections.
Speaking from the US on a special election show, Zoumbaniotis praised the Greeks of Cypriot origin for “overcoming the racial barrier and overwhelmingly backing Obama’s candidacy in contrast with others of Greek origin, most of whom had a problem voting a black president, which was lamentable.”
Greek Americans “who claimed to be progressive, in particular officials of the church and multi-millionaires used the worst terms (about Obama)…” he said, before being abruptly interrupted by presenter Yiannis Kareklas, who could not allow accusations of racism to be made on state TV, especially against leading members of the Greek American community.
After all, the Greek Americans, as Simerini reliably informed us, were “in the inner circle of the new president”.
ON THE DAY all the world’s newspapers led with the story of Obama’s elections, the government mouthpiece Haravghi led with a quite different story. The banner headline informed us that “77.1 per cent approve Christofias’ policies,” according to an opinion poll. Analysing the findings of the poll, the paper’s editor concluded: “Cyprus is lucky to have had the good fortune to have a President of the stature and dynamism of Demetris Christofias.”
Luck had nothing to do with it. It was thanks to the sound judgment and political intelligence of the majority of the Cypriot voters that we have such a great president. The lucky ones are all of us right-wing extremists, who did not vote for him but are still reaping the benefits of his enlightened rule.
RUSFETI is alive and well in the luckiest People’s Republic in the world, with our dynamic presidente ensuring that all posts go to his AKEL comrades and worshippers.
After appointing Akis Papasavvas deputy AG, his daughter’s boyfriend was made a presidential advisor on Turkish affairs, while his flunkey at the legislature Costakis Christoforou was appointed Commissioner for the Protection of Competition, after he had reached retirement age.
The high-profile rusfetis are few because of the unavailability of posts, but the real work is being done at lower levels. Apparently TEPAK, the Cyprus University of Technology in Limassol, is referred to in academic circles as ‘Lumumba’ after the Soviet university from which many Akelites, graduated. Many Lumumba graduates were recruited to TEPAK when Christofias’ lieutenant Andreas Demetriou, currently the education minister, was President of the Interim Governing Committee.
ANOTHER close friend of the presidente and member of his election campaign team, Kostas Gouliamos, had successfully applied for a teaching post at TEPAK but mysteriously turned it down. Gouliamos, a Professor and Chair of the Department of Management and Marketing at Cyprus College’s School of Business decided against taking the post after he had been asked to submit certificates of his qualifications.
This was not because he had no stamps to put on the envelope, but because he could not be bothered to make the trip to Limassol every day, despite the better pay and work conditions, especially now that he was regularly appearing as TV pundit on CyBC.
Did the presidente help him achieve the status of celebrated expert of state television with a telephone call to the corporation? Before the comrade’s election we never saw the professor on state TV but we fans of the Lazaros radio show regularly listened to him in the morning expressing his expert, anti-Western, anti-US, anti-capitalist opinions. Such original, stimulating views deserved a wider audience.
SPEAKING of state TV, could the General Manager of CyBC and beneficiary of serial Ethnarchic rusfetology, Themis Themistocleous tell us why his photograph features on the corporation’s web-site? What era is the guy living in having a ‘Message from the General Manager’ with his mug shot on the home page?
This column has criticised poor old Themis for a lot of things, but never for vanity. It just did not occur to us that a guy who looks like a timid book-keeper on a bad day could have narcissistic tendencies, which just goes to show that we can get things wrong about people. But we never doubted the inflated sense of self-importance and pomposity, illustrated by the personal message on the website.
If the website was selling fitted kitchens, double-glazing or used cars you could understand it featuring a message from the general manager, but for a state broadcasting corporation it provincial and Third World. At least it projects an accurate image of CyBC.
THE ANTENNA at the British Base in Akrotiri was linked to the advanced US defence project HAARP in an article in last Sunday’s Phil by a non-Perdikis environmentalist, who works for the government. The writer cited articles written abroad that claimed HAARP was being deployed at Akrotiri.
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HAARP, apparently, is capable of dramatically changing weather conditions (do not ask how) and influencing people’s minds. The article was picked up by the Brit-bashing Lazaros who used it as a good excuse to have a rant against the Bases on his radio show before inviting callers to comment about it.
The first caller was a gentleman by the name of Hadjittofis – did not hear his first name, nor whether he was an expert on the subject or just a nationalist taxi-driver – who expressed grave concern before posing a very pertinent question. “What if the British had used HAARP to manipulate our minds during the referendum to make us vote ‘yes’?” he asked.
Fortunately, HAARP was not fully operating in 2004, but it was up and running last year and could have manipulated enough minds to have made the Ethnarch lose the elections.
IN MAY 2007, the then minister of health Haris Haralambous, who was, subsequently, rusfetologically appointed President of the Cyprus University Council, announced that 30 defibrillators would be installed in places where crowds gathered such as airports, ports, stadiums etc, within a month.
Defibrillators, which deliver a therapeutic dose of electrical energy to a person’s heart, are used when a person suffers life-threatening cardiac arrhythmias. Having these in public places would save lives as the problem requires immediate attention and our ambulance service is not the fastest in the world.
Eighteen months later, only two defibrillators have been installed – one in the boot of comrade presidente’s limousine and the second at the House of Representatives. It is only fair that politicians are taken better care of, because who would then establish the fairer society.
STAFF unions at the beleaguered national carrier have seen the fairer society in action as the government put an end to the wage freeze which had been imposed as part of the EU-sanctioned rescue plan in 2004. The freeze, which was meant to have run for five years, will cost the Cyprus Airways €6.6 million over the next two years.
Only the pilots’ union has refused to sign a deal, presumably demanding more money than the airline was willing to pay. Once they agree, the cost would probably reach €7 million, a sum that will give a much-needed boost to the airline’s future losses which are guaranteed in recessionary times.
But it is not only the pay increases that will increase Cyprus Airways’ costs. After the comrade’s election, the airline embarked on a staff-hiring spree which is worrying management, but nobody dares say anything. Well, the DISY government put the airline on bring of bankruptcy by hiring loads of DISY-supporting workers, now it is the turn for AKEL to show that it is also capable of doing the same.
Come back Tassos, all is forgiven.
AFTER the referendum, there was no foreigner for our political parties, our newspapers, radio-show presenters and TV celebrities to direct their hatred at. The universally-despised Lord Hannay left a vacuum that nobody was able to fill in the post 2004 era. Then again this was a larger than life hate figure – pompous, British, patronising, superior, imperious, smart – who was always going to be a hard act to follow.
I am happy to report that our wait is over. We have found the man to replace Lord Hannay in our hearts and souls – EU Enlargement Commissioner Olli Rehn, whom everyone from the presidente down has decided is an enemy of the Republic hell-bent on helping the Turks. Rehn has been universally reviled in the last week for his progress report on Turkey.
And as Simerini lamented on Friday: “OK, Rehn is only doing his job in serving the interests of Turkey.” At last, an unabashed Turk-lover for all of us to hate.
YOU CAN always rely on our dear old Archbishop Chrys the Second to make a liberal contribution to public debate. His enlightened line on the government’s misguided plans to change the school history books and make them less Turk-hating was welcome, but it could have an undesirable effect.
Chrys said: “The distortion of history we will not allow. We shall be totally opposed and will go as far as urging children to throw away such books.”
As for the undesirable effect? Kids will tell their teacher, “Sorry, I could not do my homework, because the Archbishop told me to throw away my book.” As far as excuses go this is first rate.
SATURDAY afternoon, 5pm and Obama has still not called President Christofias who has been waiting by the phone since Wednesday night. We hope by the time you are reading this Obama would have called because he would be making a serious mistake ignoring a president of stature and dynamism.
