LAST week, I referred to a guy who sent me this profound text message I’d decided was sent to me from some higher power.
This week, I’m thinking he’s getting his lines from some self-help book.
Basically, I got a second random message: “Isabella, reach beyond your comfort zone to lift yourself to new levels.”
WTF?
The only reason he sent me that message was because we spoke after the first one and I made it obvious I was overawed by his intuition. He claimed to have some sort of sixth sense going and said ideas just popped into his head which he had to write down immediately. He said he’d been having lunch when he’d thought of the first message regarding me living my life to the full and how he’d had to put it in a text and send it to me ASAP. Gullible, blonde me, believed him.
To be honest, I shouldn’t have, unless he was having a moment where he was possessed by someone with a good command of the English language.
Basically, we met on holiday and there was an instant spark. A physical spark on my part. An emotional one on his. Or at least that’s what he has been trying to convince me for the best part of two weeks.
The problem is I don’t know how to tell him that what happened on holiday, stays on holiday. He’s a lovely, lovely guy and really hot. And when I say hot, I mean really hot. He’s absolutely gorgeous: strong jaw, chiselled cheek bones, tall, fabulous body, a smile that would melt a heart of stone and dance moves that set the heart racing.
But it was a holiday fling. No matter how nice or how gorgeous he is, there can be no future in it. He doesn’t even live in Cyprus for goodness sake. Unlike last year, I now know that to be a problem. I am not going through the whole Wanker Banker and Paris Guy rigmarole again. I don’t think my emotions, not to mention my shrink, can handle it.
Apparently, my Latin Lover did not share the same 2007 experiences as me. In fact, he has friended me on Facebook, rung me or texted me every single day since we parted ways, asked to come and visit me for the weekend and bullied my cousin into meeting him for drinks in London next week so that he can feel closer to me (she was with me the night I met him).
My cousin has since been on the phone, freaking out that he’s called her twice in the space of 24 hours and that all he did was talk about me.
“I know you’re my cousin and I love you to bits, but I’m at work and I have this random going on about how fabulous you are. Now I have to meet him for a drink. When he rang me yesterday he said he was in my area and did I want to meet him. He was actually surprised when I told him I work. He’s sweet and everything, but he’s a bit much. I hope he doesn’t think he can call me up all the time,” she said.
Note to prospective suitors. Do not piss the cousin off. She might be a good way to get closer to someone you fancy, but pissing her off is a big no-no as it will involve her tearing you to shreds.
Her freaking out is nothing compared to what I was doing when he tried to wangle an invite out to see me. He said he was free towards the end of the month and that he could fly out Friday night and leave Sunday. He said he’d stay in a hotel and that he just really wanted to see me again. WTF?! I know him for all of five minutes and he wants to fly out to see me? On the one hand, it’s flattering and I’m loving the attention, but on the other it’s frightening. Especially since I’m guessing I’m just the flavour of this month. I mean how many men suddenly fall head over heels for a woman they have just met? He claims it was the kissing and how you don’t find chemistry like that every day. Purlease. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, the Paris Guy. Exactemondo. I am an old hand at this and KNOW that when a man is overly enthusiastic in the beginning, he tends to cool off just as quickly. Besides it’s really overwhelming to get this much attention when I hardly know him. It’s also hard getting to know him because his English is as good as my Spanish. OK, I exaggerate, his English is better than my Spanish as my Spanish is non-existent, whereas he has lived and worked in London for the past 12 years. But my point is his English is rather tragic, which means that communicating has been rather maddening. In fact, for two people who hardly know each other, we’ve already had three arguments. Not bad for a non-relationship.
The joke is that when he didn’t text me one day, I ended up texting him. I know, what am I like? Here I am sitting complaining how obsessive he is and what a turn off that is and then the minute he seems to cool off, my interest is piqued and I contact him. Alright, you’re right, it’s likely my ego. Though if I’m to be totally honest I have become used to his funny little accent and our quirky little conversations that seem to stop and start like a kangaroo driver thanks to the language barrier.
I’m actually supposed to be seeing him when I fly to the UK in a few weeks’ time. Well, he claims he wants to see me. Then again, I’ve heard that from both the WB and PG and we all know how those meetings went. Precisely, they didn’t. Gosh I can still remember how crushed I’d felt. Don’t know why since neither one was all that. WB was boring as hell and PG wasn’t even someone I’d initially fancied until he turned on the charm.
If I’m to be totally and brutally honest, of COURSE I want to see my Latin Lover again. We spent a fantastic few days together and I really wouldn’t mind a repeat performance in grey, miserable London. Especially if it’ll involve being wined and dined and made to feel special. The only problem is a) will he still be interested in a month? And b) after my reply to his freaky message I’m not so sure.
I said: “OK, now I know you’re getting this stuff from a self help book or something because you don’t write like that. Preferred the first one you sent. Thanks anyway :)”
I didn’t think it was too harsh. It was just me pointing out I know he’s full of shit. I wonder if he now feels emasculated. Hmm. I hope not, but if he does, there’s nothing I can do. And besides, as I’ve said before, whatever happens is for the best, so if I don’t see him, then so be it – even if the chemistry was phenomenal.
