Hurrah! With the invaluable assistance of two twins, two of three triplets and two trucks we are now safely ensconced in our new home. It must have been quite a spectacle for our new neighbours who would be forgiven for thinking they were seeing double. Displaying some rather impressive acrobatics, the triplets balanced precariously on the top of a truck whilst the twins hung over a balcony hoisting beds, sofas, wardrobes and bookcases into the house with some ropes. Within a few hours all our worldly possessions were in situ, ready for the fun part of being arranged, unpacked and organised.
A couple of days previously we had gone to collect the keys and were met by the seller who arrived with an armful of light bulbs as he wanted to ensure every light in the house worked properly. As if that wasn’t kind enough, when we asked him to join us for a beer to toast the house, he was adamant that we should ‘keep our beer for ourselves’ and insisted on bringing the drinks himself. This warm greeting was in rather stark contrast to the farewell our former landlady gave us, which was a send off in her own inimitable style.
Once we had finished cleaning her place we went to see her to return the keys and say goodbye. After a couple of years living next door to her I knew not to expect many kind words or warm wishes, but even I was rather taken aback when upon opening the door the first words she barked were “what kind of a way is this to break a contract. How much more money are you going to give me?”
Our attempt to point out that we had not only given her notice but had also given her extra money did little to appease her. Her rant continued. Not only did she persist in demanding more money, she also berated us for not finding a new tenant for her. Apparently it was our responsibility to find somebody and we should have placed an ad in the newspaper. It was all a bit too much really and we told her in no uncertain terms that she was a mean, spiteful old woman. Naturally the tears then started to flow in between her mantra “I have no one, I have no one”. When she saw that we were well past reacting to her faux histrionics, her true steely demeanour reappeared and she asked us to come with her whilst she inspected the house. We had left some wood in the garage, the sight of which brought about near apoplexy. We drew attention to the fact that the house had two fireplaces and no other form of heating, thereby making the wood rather practical, but she was having none of it. “No one will use the fireplaces,” she decided. Fine, we’ll move the wood.
Inside the house we had left two very nice armchairs that we would have loved to have taken with us but unfortunately had no room for in our new place. Well, she was beside herself. We told her that if the new tenants didn’t want them, we would move them, but they could prove to be quite useful and she eventually conceded. A shutter had come off its hinges and she tried to make us pay for it. We told her that the house was 50 years old, had been rented out for the past 30 years with absolutely no money spent on it whatsoever and that these things were inevitable. (She really is stingy. When the ancient electricity box decided to give up the ghost she made me pay for it. I hadn’t been living there long and wasn’t used to her ways so when her inevitable waterworks started I thought it would just make my life easier if I agreed to shoulder the cost).
When, at last, it seemed that she couldn’t find anything else to whinge about and that we were finally free, a devious little glimmer appeared in her eyes. She had spotted something amiss after all. “My bin! What have you done with my bin?” Good grief! She honestly remembered her manky old rubbish bin! LB took her outside and pointed to a brand spanking new dustbin we had replaced her broken old thing with. She remained unconvinced. “But what have you done to my bin?” she insisted. We ended up resorting to telling her how much the new bin cost so that she could satisfy herself with the fact that she had actually made a profit out of it. Jeesh.
So, as per her insistence on us placing an ad in a paper:
A charming two bedroom house in Agios Omologites is available for rent. Sandwiched between a construction site and an embittered, curmudgeonly old woman, the house retains many original features (such as the original plumbing, bathroom tiles and kitchen appliances). Included in the attractive package is a rather unusual open plan garage although access to the aforementioned is hindered somewhat by the lack of a drive. Some items of furniture are available on request. Please note, a brand new rubbish bin is included in the price.
