TAKE SEVEN KITES compiled by Alix Norman

With Green Monday imminent, flying kites seemed like a good way for four couch potatoes (and one highly enthusiastic five-year-old) to get a total body workout. Running, screaming, stretching and tree-climbing were just some of the forms of exercise involved in our aerial experiments…
 
ORPHANIDES – blue triangle
This kite looked quite professional. As our team included an expert kite-surfer (“Dude, it’s easy!”), an expert athlete (two hours on the treadmill each day) and an expert father (who’d once made his son a kite that nearly flew), we thought we could handle it. Our kite-surfer assembled it (“Dude! Where does this pole go?”), our father launched it (“Hey! This one flies!”) and our athlete organised the relay team required to keep it airborne (“Faster! Faster!”). We did the 4×100 round the field and then handed it to our five-year-old, who happily did a kilometre at top speed while we lay on the ground and panted. Definitely best for its exercise value.
Price: €4.00
 
SUPER HOME CENTRE – rainbow striped
On a windy spring day you’d get a free flight to Egypt hanging onto this semi-circular contraption – it really did want to go up, up and away – and with four metres of multi-coloured tail, we spent hours chasing this rainbow. Fantastic value for something that almost flies itself – and no bother with poles and the like, it’s already made up. We spent most of the afternoon squabbling with the local kids over who got to test it next. It passed with flying colours.
Price: €3.00
 
OCTAGONO KIOSK– green and pink
This kite flew with all the grace of a half-eaten bagel. Very basic to assemble, the cheap plastic completely collapsed on take off and spent the rest of the afternoon lying where we left it. Provided a modest amount of entertainment when we ran into the string while trying to launch Spiderman. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you do get what you pay for.
Price: €1.70
 
JUMBO – hexagonal striped
Fantastic if you want to impress the kids (“Here’s one Daddy made earlier”) as it comes ready-made. A traditional hexagon shape makes for a good flier, and you only need a short run up to launch this plastic confection. It won’t do much in the way of swoops and swirls, but like a night on Viagra, once it’s up, it’s up. Gets off to a flying start.
Price: €3.99
 
ORPHANIDES – orange bird
This one was a total non-starter. The pole wouldn’t fit in the hole, the plastic ripped and we couldn’t get it to do anything other than drag along in the dust. Admittedly this was the last one we tried, and maybe we were just all kited-out (even our five-year-old). I’d give this to the obnoxious kid who thinks he knows it all – watching him trying to get it up would prove far more entertaining than actually flying it. A bird in the hand – just not in the sky.
Price: €4.50
 
LESS POUND SHOP – Spiderman
We could have built Apollo 13 in less time. We handed over the strings and ropes and instructions to the self-confessed expert and his son and left them to it. A mere 30 minutes later and Spidey was ready to take to the air. A good run-up was all that was needed to get it off the ground, whence it flew like a bird, like a plane, well, like Spiderman. I still fail to see how something from the Less Pound shop can cost over four euros, but our five-year-old would have sold his mother to take this one home.
Price: €4.10
 
JUMBO – black eagle
A favourite with our youngster, as it actually looks like an eagle (especially if you’re under five, or squinting). The black colour made it look beautifully menacing; great fun, and easy to put together, though the lack of string meant we spent a lot of time running around with it 50 centimetres overhead. Eventually we appropriated some cord from Spiderman and managed to get it airborne. It proved remarkably avian in its penchant for roosting – residents of Ayios Pavlos were most entertained by the tree-climbing antics of four thirty-somethings. This bird has indeed flown.
Price: €4.99