TAKE SEVEN BUBBLE BATHS, compiled by Alix Norman

I hibernate in winter. Like a squirrel, I drop out of the social scene, stock up on necessities (chocolate, crisps, DVDs) and settle in to wait for summer. And when the sun goes down and the cold begins to bite, there’s nothing like a long hot bubble bath; Seven has tested the waters…
 
 
NEUTRO ROBERTS Ritual Relax Bath Foam 650ml
Dire packaging, and dreadful brand name: Neutro Roberts sounds like a 1950s superhero who now promotes loo cleaner in Louisville. But I do love being surprised by a product, and this peach concoction astonished me. It promised “total armony for the body”, and I can ‘appily report that it delivered. A luxurious hour later there were still lots of delicious bubbles and my skin was peachy soft: my other ‘alf wanted to ‘ug me for ‘ours.
Price: €3.53 / 54c per 100ml
 
 
INCO Almond and Cookie Delicious Bath 1000ml
This was the reason I wanted to write Take 7 Bubble Baths. The scent conjoured up images of baby-pink cashmere, silky sheets and vanilla dreams; it made my mouth water. The packaging is lovely, the smell delicious, the price superb – but I plunged in and the bubble burst. I sat in the tub and inhaled the air like a sniffer dog in an Amsterdam airport, but the aroma had departed the moment the product left the bottle, leaving me to share the bath with three bubbles and my broken dreams. Sadly, this is more bath than bubble.
Price: €4.95 / 50c per 100ml
 
 
DOVE Relaxing Tranquility Beauty Bath 500ml
It’s January and it still hasn’t rained, so I decided to do my bit for drought and shared this bath with my other half. I wasn’t thrilled about the bottle (why have Dove repackaged everything?) but the promise of one-quarter moisturising cream lured me into the tub. Luxury! We both dozed off to the aroma of jasmine and cedarwood, surrounded by bubbles. Dove promised “complete relaxation for the mind and body” and it certainly delivered: this is cloud nine for the mind.
Price: 5.67 / 113c per 100ml
 
 
OLIVIA Bath Foam 300ml
At this price, I decided the bath would have to be worthy of the foam: I lit candles, I dimmed the lights, I played Bach and settled in for a long hot hour of enjoyment. I was out in 10 minutes. Olivia promises to “revitalize your skin”, which it may have done – I was certainly smooth and soft – but I could count the bubbles on the fingers of one foot. Yes, it may be fragrant, but it also made my bath green, and I haven’t been a fan of chromatic bathing since my Mum put blue food colouring in my bath at the age of two. In this case, “you get what you pay for” didn’t quite hold water.
Price: €5.89 / 196c per 100ml
 
 
NIVEA Cashmere Moments Cream Bath 500ml
“Feel like a newborn with every bath” said the bumph, and my right-hand man shuddered at the thought of me crying and wailing to all hours of the morning. But rather than throw out the baby with the bath water, I risked my maturity and plunged in to enjoy the “cashmere proteins and orchid scent”. I didn’t see any of the former floating around, and the latter was more of a suggestion than an actual aroma. You couldn’t use this in a Hollywood film – there weren’t even enough bubbles to hide a 12-year-old’s modesty – but if you’re up for a creamy soft bathing experience, this will do.
Price: €4.92 / 98c per 100ml
 
 
BATH FRUITS Strawberry and Orchid Creme Bath 1000ml
My better half and I were divided on this one: I thought it reeked of chemicals, he proclaimed it smelt divine. We compromised by sending in a third party who had spent the day hanging off an 80-foot rock face sans deodorant. “Not bad,” was his verdict as he wafted out of the bathroom in clouds of steam; “loads of bubbles, nice whiff. I smell like a milkshake.” We later discovered he’d used half the bottle, but at this price who cares?
Price: €2.16 / 22c per 100ml
 
 
PALMOLIVE Sensual Aromatherapy Bath Foam 750ml
The wording on this had me in stitches: it promised a different effect on the senses in each language. Thus, the English would be merely “excited”, the macho Greeks would find themselves “aroused”, the high-falutin’ French would be “exalted” and the passionate Italians would be “inflamed” (lucky them!). The German translation was “proceeded”, which sounds almost clinical enough to be correct, but I may have missed the subtler meaning. And the verdict? Hours of relaxation, velvety skin and more bubbles than a bean-eater in a jacuzzi; I’ll tub thump for this one any day.
Price: €5.09 / 68c per 100ml
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Cyprus Mail is the only English-language daily newspaper published in Cyprus. It was established in 1945 and today, with its popular and widely-read website, the Cyprus Mail is among the most trusted news sites in Cyprus. The newspaper is not affiliated with any political parties and has always striven to maintain its independence. Over the past 70-plus years, the Cyprus Mail, with a small dedicated team, has covered momentous events in Cyprus’ modern history, chronicling the last gasps of British colonial rule, Cyprus’ truncated independence, the coup and Turkish invasion, and the decades of negotiations to stitch the divided island back together, plus a myriad of scandals, murders, and human interests stories that capture the island and its -people. Observers describe it as politically conservative.