Mint chocolate by Alix Norman

And God said: “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the dark. Then he took the dark and added mint, and it was all downhill until someone else said: “Let there be lycra.” We’ve been piling on the calories to bring you seven different types of mint chocolate.
 
After Eights
I had these After Eights after eight, after nine, after lunch and after dinner. They really are the classic mint chocolate. Last year I attended a traditional British Christmas lunch, and apart from the crackers, the bad jokes (you know who you are) and the flaming pud, we had After Eights with our coffee – nothing else would have done. Creamy and chocolatey, with just the right amount of bitterness, these have stood the test of time for a reason.
?2.19
 
Lindt Excellence Mint Intense
Why do Lindt make their chocolate so thin? Is it meant to be classy, or are they just catering to the anorexic market? Come to think of it, aren’t the Swiss known for being a nation of ascetics? “Just von piece, I ate on Vednesday.” Mind you, I can’t fault the taste: it’s smooth and subtle, with just the right amount of mint (albeit flavouring). It may not fulfill Mediterranean appetites, but it’s certainly elegant. Lindt do mint well.
?1.09
Valor Dark Chocolate with Mint, 70% cacao
Interestingly, researchers have recently discovered similarities between cocoa and marijuana. They just can’t remember what they are. And if there’s any chocolate that’s going to make you lapse into a happy stupor, this is it. It may not be as creamy as Lindt (despite being packaged in almost exactly the same way), but the 70% cocao and the merest hint of mint makes this Spanish chocolate absolutely divine. Discretion being the better part of Valor – keep this one all to yourself: not for sharing!
?1.21
After Eight Straws
OK, this is exactly what an After Eight would look – and taste – like if you took a rolling pin to it. It took me ages to twist the bottom off the cylinder, and then there were less than 20 five-inch straws inside. And they just don’t feel as filling as traditional After Eights. The virtue is in the packaging. If you’ve got dinner guests who drive up in Mercedes wearing Versace and carrying Fendi, they might be quite impressed. Otherwise, this is just a marketing ploy that doesn’t really work: after eight, there are hardly any left.
?1.82
Bakandy’s After Dinner Chocolate Mints
My eyes are still watering after trying these! They may be a good mouthful, and there are certainly plenty of them in the bag, but I only managed two before I considered eating the fiddly foil wrapping to get rid of the aftertaste. Perfect for your mother-in-law – she may never say another word.
?1.93
Matchmakers Cool Mint
The funkier version of the After Eight Straws, I much preferred these chocolate twigs. They’re crisp and fun, and you also get a lot more for your money. They’re crunchy; and the plain chocolate really works with the knobbly mint bits! The packaging may not be the height of class (“The manic munch that packs a punch”), but it’s convenient and will appeal to the younger generation. Probably better as a stocking filler than an after dinner mint. Despite extensive research, I’m completely unable to discover why they’re called Matchmakers. The imagination boggles. Answers on a postcard…
?1.44
Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Mint Crisp
I’m not sure mint really goes with milk chocolate. And though this is very filling, it’s full of calories, E numbers and other strange ingredients (what is a Raising Agent? It sounds too ghostly for dairy milk: “Speak to me from the dark side”). On the plus side, it’s crunchy and filling and the mint bits are very visible – and very green. Not really an after dinner mint at all of course, unless you think fish and chips on Brighton Pier is the height of class, but it will certainly fill up the less-discerning four-year-old.
?1.25
 
All prices are approximate. Available from supermarkets and kiosks.