Take seven anti-perspirant deodorants for women
As Edison said: “Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration.” Clearly he wasn’t a man who used much deodorant.
Sanex (Extra Control)
The claim that Sanex regulates skin flora had me doing some interesting internet research. Apparently, sweat doesn’t smell, it’s the little beasties that feed on it that cause the odour. Disgusted, I ceased the research immediately and went for a jog. Despite the strong unisex scent, Sanex held up extremely well. Obviously working overtime to deprive those beasties of a good meal.
Price: ?1.87
Vaseline Intensive Care (Fresh Balance)
For some reason, my favourite packaging; here endeth the good stuff. Contains skin caring pro derma, and claims 24 hour protection, but barely held up for 24 minutes on a brisk midday walk round town. And an interesting smell: a cross between Savlon and fly spray. I was grateful the instructions were in English, as I prepared to spray this into my eyes while leaping through a fire clasping a five-year-old child. Relegate this to the ‘aesthetically-pleasing products’ shelf – and leave it there.
Price: ?1.84
Sure (Cotton Fresh)
Sure deodorants were created as far back as 1900 in Australia. This one carried the claim that you ‘cannot buy a more effective anti-perspirant’. This immediately inspired me to prove their marketing department wrong. We battled it out with four hours of frenetic dancing, and I certainly won’t be suing for false claims. I came home as dry as a dead dingo’s donger. Worth the expense (much the biggest bottle) and I loved the scent.
Price: ?3.05
Dove (Silk Dry)
Oh for the wings of a dove – a bird not notable for its ability to perspire. Which explains a lot. It could have been the quarter moisturising cream that had me sweating buckets, it could have been the silk extracts – who wears silk in this weather? I would truly recommend this for residents of Alaska. It smells lovely and doesn’t leave white marks. But if you want to stay cool, calm and collected you’d be better off panting like a dog.
Price: ?1.98
Right Guard (Infinity)
Despite the redundant space age packaging and bizarre locking device (stop deodorant thieves right now) this was a superb anti-perspirant. It’s worth the expense. There were no signs of unsightly perspiration for over 24 hours, despite my sudden desire to clean the whole flat at midday. Interesting scent – slightly musky – and not to be worn with dark clothing unless you find white marks on black tops amusing. This was the only deodorant that didn’t say 0 per cent alcohol, but it really does last to infinity and beyond.
Price: ?3.16
Nivea (Dry)
This claims to keep your armpits ‘pleasantly dry’ with its ‘reliable protection’. A notable lack of superlatives. I’d far rather be ‘incredibly dry’ and ‘completely protected’. However, Nivea was one of my favourites. I wafted a divine smell wherever I jogged, rather like a dog. I’m sure other runners on the same route would pause at lampposts for a good sniff, noting that I’d been that way. And it really worked too – I came home sweating everywhere except under the arms.
Price: ?1.89
Palmolive (Sensitive Silk)
The name – “Sensitive Silk” – had me feeling all feminine and delicate. 30 minutes into my jog, I was definitely a damsel in distress. Any white knights traversing deserts to rescue me would have abandoned their quest at the first whiff and gone for a pint down the local instead. The aloe vera does stop any underarm irritation, and the scent is gorgeous. But, Palmolive princesses, while you’re waiting for your rescuer, stand still.
Price: ?1.70
