SUNDAY, October 23 will be remembered as one of the blackest days in the modern history of our plantation. It was the day that our country turned its back on one of its finest, bravest and noblest sons, a man whose patriotism, sense of duty, love of country and publicity could be questioned by nobody.
I am referring to Dr Madsakis, also known as Super-Mario, who was paid an early morning visit by the cops and television film crews last Sunday. The cops, armed with court orders, proceeded to remove dozens of antique chests from the good doctor’s Pyrga home on suspicion that he possessed antiquities that he had failed to inform the authorities about.
“It is the most humiliating day of my life,” a depressed Madsakis told journalists, who had gathered outside his home to monitor the removal of the chests, many of which had, allegedly, been purchased from the north. How a fine, upstanding MEP like Madsakis could have dealings with Turks selling stolen chests we do not know but I suspect it was a case of the end justifying the means – he was on another of his one-man crusades, this time to save our cultural heritage from the barbarians.
There was no hiding his bitterness and hurt over the way he had been treated by the country he had made so many personal sacrifices for. “I will never forgive those who did this thing,” a subdued Madsakis said adding: “I never imagined I would be humiliated by my own country.”
Someone should inform him that his country was only returning the favour. Applying to the European Parliament to have the immunity of one of your newly-elected MEPs lifted because he is suspected of law-breaking is pretty humiliating for the country, even if the suspect has pretensions of being a national hero.
APART from the humiliation, other thoughts must have been troubling Super-Mario. His legal bills have been rising faster than the price of crude oil because he has hired some of the plantation’s most expensive, patriotic lawyers to defend him.
Apart from the chests’ and the extortion cases he is also involved in costly libel cases after he had accused a newspaper publisher of taking millions from the Yanks in order to support the A-plan. He retaliated by filing a libel suit against the newspaper. All these cases cost money, especially when you have a couple of lawyers representing you in each one.
The MEP’s salary is a good one but it cannot cover the fees of a posse of lawyers. The doctor may have to consider selling some of his antique chests – once they are returned to him – in order to pay his lawyers.
These problems must be getting to the doctor, who on Wednesday decided to annoy Tony Blair, while he was addressing the European Parliament. Madsakis held up a piece of paper reading, “Cyprus remains a colony of Britain”. Blair responded, but this was the sort of prank you’d expect from a naughty schoolboy and not from a proven freedom fighter.
HIS PRANK must have pissed off the government because the CyBC’s foreign correspondent George Iacovou was obliged to issue a statement informing us that “Cyprus has ceased to be a British colony”. This episode must have been a bit embarrassing for the government considering that a day earlier our love-hate relationship with Britain had entered a love cycle.
This was down to Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott, who paid the plantation a two-day official visit and signed a memorandum of understanding between the two countries. A structured dialogue that will look at bilateral issues is set to begin between London and Nicosia. Prescott won over many people by speaking about the “illegal occupation” and donating a couple of grand to Radiomarathon, showing that not all British politicians are Turk-loving demons.
Prescott has very good relations with the Cypriot community in the UK and is also pretty chummy with the Ethnarch and the foreign correspondent. It is much easier for our politicians to warm to him as he is a bad-tempered, down-to-earth, straight-talking, former trade unionist. He does not possess the air of superiority that characterises most public-school educated British politicians and never fails to annoy our guys.
JOHN PRESCOTT has another thing in common with our leading politicians. He loves a flash car, particularly a Jaguar. He had two at one stage and was nicknamed, “Two-Jags” by the British press. Our Ethnarch is also a Jag-man but has been forced to use the presidential BMW since becoming presidente.
It was fitting that during Prescott’s visit, the government announced plans to buy 15 BMW 730i for ministers and 26 Audi A6 for permanent secretaries and other top state officials. It was a bit rich for a government urging citizens to economise on consumption of car fuel to buy a fleet of super-luxury, petrol-guzzling Beemers. Then again with all the money it is raking in in petrol taxes it can afford to be a little extravagant with the taxpayer’s money.
Having ministers being ferried around in expensive BMWs gives them status and is consistent with the Ethnarch’s ongoing campaign to encourage public pride in the Cyprus Republic. It does not matter that many European states are now buying smaller, more economical cars for ministers in order to set an example to their citizens. In Britain, according to tree-hugger George Perdikis, the Cabinet has opted for hybrid cars, which are more environmentally-friendly.
But is “Two-Jags” Prescott chauffeured around in a hybrid car?
THERE ARE of course countries that still buy super-flash cars for their presidents, ignoring the need to economise on fuel consumption. Most of them are in Africa.
Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe owns a custom-made, armoured Mercedes S600L which boasts a V-12 twin-turbo-charged engine. It weighs five tons and does two km per litre. The S600L is favoured by most African dictators. Mugabe’s vice-presidents and ministers were bought the cheaper S320s.
In 2000, the government of Malawi bought 39 S-class Mercedes for its ministers, while in 2003 Kenya bought 32 E240s for its ministers. Some African dictators like BMWs. King Mswati III of Swaziland bought a fleet of BMWs for each of his 10 wives. Most Africans may live in absolute poverty, but they still feel proud to see their leader in decent car.
The love of flash cars is not the only thing our politicians have in common with their colleagues in Africa. Kenyan MPs are also entitled to duty-free cars – but they receive a £23,000 grant to buy one and a monthly £535 fuel and maintenance allowance. Our deputies do not receive a grant for their duty-free car, but if Kenya, with an annual per capita income of £210 can afford to give a grant to its MPs surely the Cyprus Republic should do so as well.
A MILLION quid was the total collected by the Boredom-Marathon this year and only one volunteer was injured collecting money at the traffic lights. There has got to be a way of collecting money for kids with special needs without us being subjected to the smug, holier than thou CyBC presenters congratulating themselves on air for being so compassionate and caring. And I also hate the patronising way they treat these poor kids when they put them on television in order to encourage viewers to give money to Radio-boredom. I know we are all expected to applaud Laiki for being such a caring and sensitive bank, but my cynicism does not allow me to do so. Laiki gets a hell of lot of free advertising and bags of positive publicity for organising the event and getting ordinary people to finance its charitable work.
THANKS to the Boredom-Marathon, our Ethnarch had the opportunity to spend an hour chatting with yet another sexy chanteuse from Greece. On Wednesday he granted an audience to the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest, Elena Paparizou, who was in Cyprus to help out with the Radiomarathon.
He explained to Paparizou what changes he wanted made to A-plan. On leaving the p
alazzo, the babe said: “He is fantastic. He informed me fully about what is happening in Cyprus. I dedicate to him My Number One.”
This was the third babe from Greece to visit our fantastic Ethnarch, who has also played host to Anna Vissi (not so much a babe any more but still very hot) and Despina Vandi when they came to the plantation. A fourth singer from Greece visited him – Alkisti Propsalti – but she is neither hot nor a babe.
Many columnists wrote condescendingly about the fantastic one spending time with the bird-brained Paparizou but such comment could only have been motivated by jealousy. He also met the intellectual heavyweight Mikis Theodorakis a couple of weeks earlier but I bet he enjoyed his half hour with the superficial, Eurovision-winning babe much more. Mikis might have good conversation but who would want to stare at his legs.
IN THE WEEK our fantastic Ethnarch met Elena at the palazzo, Mehmet Ali Talat had a meeting in Washington with the unsmiling Condoleezza Rice, whom nobody could accuse of being a babe. Many of Tassos’ critics used Talat’s meeting to bore us with talk about our government’s isolation and of how the pseudo-state had been upgraded. But how upgraded can it be, considering that Talat has never met a Eurovision song contest winner?
THE LONDON director of Eupro – the organization defending the rights of Brits to steal Greek Cypriot properties in the north – Donald Crawford wrote a very long article in the October 22 issue of Cyprus Today explaining that he had reported the British daily The Guardian to the Press Complaints Commission about a story saying that title deeds issued in the north were worthless.
The report, which so offended Crawford, warned Brits of the dangers of buying property in the north. In response, Crawford sent a 26-page protest to the PCC, accusing the writer and The Guardian of “breaches of the Code of Practice”. Crawford pontificated that “under Article 1 of the Code both she and the newspaper ought to be condemned”.
This is bit rich coming from a creep like Crawford; a man who has stolen a Greek Cypriot house in Bellapais and made it his own is hardly qualified to give lessons in what constitutes ethical newspaper practice. In his breast-beating article, Donald insists that title deeds issued in the north were safe and property buyers had nothing to fear.
He obviously had not read the front page of the newspaper in which his rant appeared. Under the headline, ‘Cash freeze halts homes’, the paper reported: “Home-buyers who have paid thousands in deposits on their properties in a massive development at Arakpoy faced an uncertain future this week after work ground to a halt.” The report went on to say that the assets of the developer, British fugitive Gary Robb, were frozen by the ‘TRNC’ “amid suspicions that millions of pounds of investors’ money had been transferred out of the company.”
This was a story in a Turkish Cypriot newspaper and not the work of any “arch-propagandist of the Greek Cypriot cause”. The estimated 300 investors who may lose their money should consider suing Eupro and Crawford, who insist that there is no risk involved in buying property in the north.
POOR OLD Dr Madsakis had to contend with another police raid yesterday. The cops turned up to take up the remainder of his chests, which exceed one hundred. I think that it is not the cops we should be sending to someone who has more than a hundred chests stashed away in his house, but a group of psychiatrists. What normal person would have more than a hundred chests in his home?
