Cocktail chatter

Sir,
Unfortunately I can’t reply to Lauren by email (Re. ‘Are you ready for cocktails’) as I have no telephone line (the developers said it would take two days, what they meant was two years).

Personally, I think anyone whose opening line is “What do you do?” must be rather boring and so say anything and hopefully they will go away. How about “I’m a spot welder for the London Symphony Orchestra” or “I’m John Prescott’s tailor”.
For myself, my favourite opening gambit is “You don’t sweat much for a fat girl”.

Robert Brew, Protaras

The Cyprus Mail is the only English-language daily newspaper published in Cyprus. It was established in 1945 and today, with its popular and widely-read website, the Cyprus Mail is among the most trusted news sites in Cyprus. The newspaper is not affiliated with any political parties and has always striven to maintain its independence. Over the past 70-plus years, the Cyprus Mail, with a small dedicated team, has covered momentous events in Cyprus’ modern history, chronicling the last gasps of British colonial rule, Cyprus’ truncated independence, the coup and Turkish invasion, and the decades of negotiations to stitch the divided island back together, plus a myriad of scandals, murders, and human interests stories that capture the island and its -people. Observers describe it as politically conservative.