Why size matters
Keeping abreast of larger ladies
THERE are certain obvious advantages to having large breasts (cleavage, curves, long queues of drooling men), but when it comes to buying lingerie, big-busted women can find it a headache. Fashion chain stores like TopShop and Miss Selfridge stop at a D cup and much of the prettiest designer lingerie — from the likes of Calvin Klein, Prada and DKNY — doesn’t cater seriously for anyone with big boobs. Nicosia has had a sudden influx of lingerie stores lately, but only a few have pretty bras in larger sizes. So where do you shop for lingerie and boulder-holders when you’re DD plus?
First stop: know your breasts.
Just like wearing mini-skirts when you’ve got cellulite on your thighs, or crop tops when you’ve got a beer belly, there are certain dos and don’ts when it comes to buying bras when you’re big-busted.
Do: choose an underwired bra to encase and support your breasts. Bras with side slings (reinforcement of the cup at the side of the bra) are particularly comfortable. Plunge bras can look amazing on large busts, and if you’re a real show-off, a balconette style will give you that Restoration-era heaving bosom.
Don’t: attempt a triangle bra — there’ll be nuclear fall out and your boobs will ache from the lack of support. And do leave vest tops alone, unless you buy one with inner support.
High-street buys
Marks and Spencer, for one, now has a dedicated bra section for DD to G bras — its Truly You Embroidery bra in bright red (£22) is truly for the bedroom exhibitionist! Debenhams has its Gorgeous range ‘for women with curves’ — sizes go up to an F cup and the styles are very pretty. Caprice’s range at Debenhams is also worth a look, with most styles going up to a 36DD.
On the net
Designers like Panache, Freya, Fantasie, Rigby & Peller, Warner’s, Chantelle and Lejaby and Gossard (to name but a few) all cater for larger sizes, many of them going up to a G or J cup. A good way to save time and energy is to compare them on leading internet lingerie sites. www.figleaves.com, www.bravissimo.co.uk, www.elingerie.uk.net, www.heavenlybodice.com and www.d-plus.co.uk all boast extensive ranges — just tap in your size and scores of pretty bras will pop up. Personally I am a Rigby and Peller fan, and their exquisite Valentina padded bra, which goes up to a 40F, is an absolute knock-out (£65). A relatively new but wonderfully refreshing offering is www.bustique.com which aims to be a personal shopper for the big-busted lady.
For the gym
Shock Absorber does the least offensive sports bra (but let’s be honest, most of them aren’t exactly visions of beauty). Panache is also worth a try, particularly if you’re an EE cup or over. For discreet minimiser bras, M&S is the biz with at least four different styles to choose from. Fantasie’s smooth underwired bra is perfect for under T-shirts.
Nothing to wear?
‘I haven’t got anything to wear’ is one of those statements that really irritates anyone who isn’t female. It’s also one that every woman on the planet can empathise with. Along with the conviction that our thighs could do with being smaller, not ever having quite the right thing for the occasion is a condition that afflicts all women, regardless of the size of their wardrobes or the money they spend on clothes.
I clearly remember looking forward to the day when I was grown-up and self-sufficient and all the panicking was behind me. But one of life’s harsher lessons is that that day never arrives. You will never have the perfect clothes for the party, and if you do, the shoes will be wrong, the coat a compromise, and the bag okay but not ideal.
This is just part of the female condition. It’s always been this way, but the problem has undoubtedly been compounded by modern culture. First of all, nobody has a clue any more about what they should be wearing: dress codes are rarely specified, and instructions such as ‘smart’ and ‘smart casual’ have replaced the old crystal-clear ‘black tie’.
Added to that, there’s a kind of unspoken consensus that the more confident you are, the less you’re obliged to adhere to these vague guidelines. So, at parties, you will find girls in spray-on trousers and chiffon tops, strapless dresses, shredded denim minis, leopard-print coats and whatever else takes their fancy.
All this flexibility means that every choice becomes loaded with significance and every event involves second-guessing which way the other guests are going to dress. It’s naff to look ultra-polished if everyone else is wearing low-key stuff (although low-key is rare in Cyprus, this is a country where they get all dressed up to go to Starbucks) and it’s sad to dress wispy-pretty if the occasion is fashion-sharp. You’ll look as if you’re trying too hard if you wear the glittery halterneck frock to the last-minute knees-up, but passé if you go in the glittery top and jeans.
A dress with a glittery scarf around the neck might solve the problem, but not in a fashion-conscious crowd (Marc Jacobs, darling, was doing them in 2002).
Formal is a whole minefield of its own: Formal trendy? Formal with parents? Formal glamorous, or formal respectful? But, then again, formal is a picnic compared with, say, lunch in the country with the upper class or — my personal nightmare — what to wear at the rock concert.
Basically, when a woman says ‘I’ve got nothing to wear’, she actually means ‘I have nothing to wear for this particular occasion, which is subtly different from all other occasions. I haven’t got the right coded messages going on. I am looking for edginess, vulnerability, sexiness, nonchalance, and I don’t want to appear to be competing. Is it any wonder I’m hysterical?’
