“THE WORST is over,” announced Ethnarch Papa-Dop on Sunday after the EU summit in Dublin, reminding us that his powers of prediction are on a par with his political judgment, which is about as sound as the finances of Cyprus Airways.
Two days after getting over the worst, he had been accused, very politely, by an EU Commissioner of being a liar, while on Wednesday the US committed, according to the Ethnarch, “very hostile acts” against the plantation. And on Thursday our government received its first rebuke as an EU member state because it had not consulted the Commission before implementing the regulations regarding the Green Line.
Meanwhile, our deputies are still being treated as political lepers at the European Parliament, while the Commission is in the process of drafting more measures aimed at helping the Turkish Bananiots – these include direct trade with the north and the participation of the north in Community programmes. And do not rule out direct flights to the pseudo-airport at Tymbou in the not too distant future. Let’s not forget the UN Secretary-General’s report about the talks, which will lay the blame squarely on our side.
And, contrary to what our infallible Ethnarch has said, it does get worse. The Commission does not trust the government to enforce the package of measures for the Turkish Bananiots and is considering taking over the implementation, dealing directly with organisations in the north. The reason: of the 20 measures announced by our government at the behest of the EU last year, only two were implemented. The rest were not enforced because of technical reasons (like, they may have benefited the Turks).
The latest reports suggest punitive measures might be taken by Brussels if our Ethnarch does not show the necessary good faith in the implementation of the latest measures. But otherwise, “the worst is over”. In Dublin, Tassos claimed he did not discern any change of behaviour towards him by EU leaders, to whom he explained things and found a very good response.
The man is living in a cloud-cuckoo-land, having cut all links with reality. And the worst is yet to come as he has another four years in office.
WE MAY have set a new EU record on Tuesday. It took just four days of membership for our Head of State to be dismissed as a liar by a European Commissioner. On Monday, our Pinocchio-in-Chief said that he had a chat with EU Enlargement Commissioner Gunter Verheugen and received “satisfactory explanations”.
Verheugen, was not referring to Tassos, when he said he felt he had been “deceived” by the Cyprus government, said our Ethnarch, adding: “I assure you that I was not the person that cheated him.” The brash German, apparently, was referring to another politician, whom the discreet Tassos refused to name.
The next day, the Commissioner’s spokesman explained that Verheugen had been given assurances by former President Clerides that the Cyprus Republic would not stand in the way of a settlement. This agreement “was confirmed by President Papadopoulos after he came to power,” said the spokesman.
But we have not heard any of those politicians who have been vilifying the DISY Fuhrer for “blackening” the name of the Republic, by reporting the government to the European Parliament for its behaviour in the referendum campaign, express any embarrassment about our Ethnarch’s antics. Having a head of state who has been publicly accused by an EU Commissioner of deceiving him and of lying and who is regarded by Brussels as untrustworthy does not undermine the good name of the Republic. Only Nice Nik’s accusations cause harm to our standing according to messrs Koutsou, Omirou, Perdikis, Kleanthous et al.
ALL OUR woes can be attributed to the vindictive foreigners and in particular the Anglo-American axis of evil, which according to Papa-Dop is punishing the people because they voted ‘no’ to a settlement. They cannot be Tassos’ fault, because he is covered by the publication of the Second Edict of Ethnarchic Infallibility. The Ethnarch never commits mistakes and that is an absolute truth. It is always the fault of others – Brits, Yanks, UN mediators, Verheugen, Nasty Nik, George Vass, Richard Boucher, the weather, and the Greek Bananiots who voted ‘no’.
We are seeing the cultivation of a siege mentality and xenophobia, which the late Spy Kyp usually resorted to when things were not going very well. On Thursday a sour-faced Ethnarch lambasted the US, announcing that certain remarks made about the plantation “must be deemed very hostile acts”. Colin Powell had referred to Mehmet Ali Talat as “Mr prime minister”, while the State Department spokesman Richard Boucher referred to the “Greek Cypriot government”.
The Ethnarch stopped short of declaring war on the US, but, according to the authoritative CyBC, his “dynamic” stance had forced an apology from the State Department. Boucher said he had used a descriptive term and the US still recognised the Cyprus Republic. The Ethnarch was not satisfied because the clarification “does not overturn the climate created by the first statement”, he insisted.
The Yanks will have to do better than that if they do not want us to make them stew.
COMMISSAR Christofias, the one true statesman of the plantation, gave a friendly warning to the US administration. It should avoid such statements because otherwise it would awaken the anti-US sentiments of the Greek Bananiots.
However, at the National Council meeting, the Commissar was urging a united front so that we can face the onslaught by Anglo-American imperialism. In a radio interview he was more forgiving towards the Americans, informing us that duplicitous Britain had created all the problems we were facing today.
Britain was behind everything he said. Was it also behind AKEL’s decision to back Papa-Dop for the presidency? Nothing would surprise me.
APART from cultivating the siege mentality, when things go wrong, the government immediately sends envoys to other countries to explain our position. This practice was introduced by the old sea-wolf and it has been adopted by Tassos who has recruited a posse of political has-beens to enlighten the world.
Yiannakis Matsis flew to Spain and Juan Cassoulides somewhere else. But it would not be called an international enlightenment campaign without Dr Faustus Lyssarides going to Libya to brief his old friend and fellow freedom-fighter Colonel Gaddafi. I suspect he would have asked Gaddafi to put in good word for us in Brussels as he now has better relations with EU leaders than our Ethnarch.
A WORD of sympathy for our Fuhrer, Wonderful Nik, who has been the target of unprecedented abuse ever since he reported the government’s undemocratic behaviour in the referendum campaign. At dawn on Tuesday his house was the target of a grenade attack, which was universally condemned. It gave us the opportunity to see our hero in his dressing gown and slippers as he inspected the damage.
Responsibility for the attack was taken by an extremist nationalist group called OKE (Organisation of Cypriot Nationalists), which nobody has ever heard of before. It left its declaration in a telephone box. The million dollar question is why all the plantation’s underground organisations have ‘k’ and ‘e’ in their name? Remembers EKAS, the terrorist organisation nipped in the bud by the Clerides government back in 1995? Our establishment has been the supporter of the plantation’s oldest and best-known underground organisation – KEO. There is a police theory that the members of KEO had too much OKE when writing their declaration and spelt their name wrong.
FED UP of the lack of appreciation for his publicity stunts on the plantation, Dr Madsakis has chosen a bigger stage to show off his sharp political intellect and instinct for big conspiracies – the European Parliament.
When the attack on Nik’s house was brought up at the Euro-parliament on Tuesday, with members suggesting sending a message of support, the omniscient Madsakis took the floor. He explained that “from what I know, the attack was not for political reasons but because of a comment made by Mr Anastassiades in relation to a football match”.
Had the person who had thrown the grenade called Madsakis and explained his motives? No. So how did he know the attacker’s motives? Was the attack morally acceptable because the motives were football-based? The way Madsakis presented his view it was as if it is perfectly normal behaviour for Bananiot football fans to throw a hand grenade at the house of a party leader who makes “provocative statements”.
Does having MPs like Madsakis talking nonsense in Brussels not undermine the good name of the Cyprus Republic?
IN THE END, the Fuhrer only got rid of two of the DISY rebels, Prodromou and Erotokritou. The other Disydents, apologised, and returned to the party. Plans of the five rebel deputies and former party leader Yiannakis Matsis to set up another party – the European Patriotic Rally – fell through. The reason was that three of them wanted to become leader of the new party – Matsis, Prodromou and Syllouris – and no-one would back down.
The saddest case was Famagusta deputy, Sotiris Sampson, who betrayed his family business, Machi newspaper, in order to return to the Party. Machi had been attacking the DISY leadership for the entire referendum campaign. But when the party asked the fearless freedom fighter Sotiris about the paper’s hostile stance he said he had nothing to do with it. The journalists were free to write what they wanted and Sotiris, who claimed he never interfered in editorial policy, only owned 24 per cent of it.
When the next day reports appeared suggesting that Machi had been bought, Sotiris issued a statement saying that the paper was wholly owned by the Sampson family. So was his poor old mother deciding editorial policy?
It seems the idealistic Sotiris was being economical with the truth to save his skin and was happy to abandon his fellow freedom fighters as soon as he had the chance to return to the party. His proud and dignified stance deserves our applause.
MOST OF the leading ‘no’ campaigners were very well rewarded for their patriotism. For instance, commerce minister George Liellikas, whose advertising agency Marketway was given the account of the ‘no’ campaign, was also given the publicity campaign for the EU celebrations. The Zeus group, which led the misinformation campaign against the plan through its media outlets was also rewarded. A promotions company it owned was paid 250 grand to handle the celebrations including the booking of superstar Annan Vishy. On the plantation, patriotism pays very well.
THE EVENT at Eleftheria Square proved a bit of a disaster on the timing front, with the celebrations beginning 25 minutes after midnight. What was interesting was that the Ministry of Education, run by the Ethnarch’s bosom buddy Pefkios Georgiades, was very particular with its guest-list. It did not invite the former Nicosia mayor Lellos Demetriades or our EU negotiator George Vass. Why? Was it because they had campaigned for a ‘yes’ vote and had to be punished?
The answer is yes. In fact Lellos, a very close friend of Tassos since they shared lodgings as law students in London in the fifities, does not even get invited to big Papa-Dop family dos any more. He always used to be invited, until he decided to publicly campaign for a ‘yes’ vote. Tassos has the gall to accuse foreigners of vindictiveness.
NICOSIA Mayor, the Zany Zampelas, was in his element during the EU accession celebrations. He even tried to hijack the celebratory events, which were organised exclusively by the education ministry, as his own. He had the programme of events typed on ‘Nicosia Municpality, Mayor’s Office’ headed paper and sent it out as if it was his event. In the street decorations, he placed the emblem of Nicosia Municipality in between the Cyprus and EU flags (picture) as if it was Nicosia which was becoming a member of the European Union. This infuriated the Education Minister who had a go at Zampelas. Pefkios should have been happy that Zampelas had not chosen to put a picture of himself between the two flags and stuck the emblem of the last divided city in Europe.
