“Know thyself.”
(Socrates, 5th Century B.C.E Greek Philosopher)
Who am I? What am I? When am I? Where am I? How am I? Why am I?
THESE ARE significant questions we can all put to ourselves at any given moment. They are questions that we can answer with one or two words, or with hundreds of them. Asking yourself these questions is relevant to your degree of self awareness, how conscious you are your own thoughts/feelings/actions/responses and the extent to which you understand they arise.
Self-awareness can be thought of as layers of concentric circles, with short answers to our questions on the outskirts of the circle and more detailed and specific answers closer to the core. This is where a true understanding of the self lies.
Developing self-awareness is a continuous, never-ending process. As human beings we are continuously experiencing different think, all of which can be explored. It is these self explorations that can bolster our awareness and understanding of ourselves. If for example you were in a particular situation that elicited the feeling of jealousy, you could brush the feeling aside until it completely ebbed away, or you could ask yourself: At what point did I feel jealous? (e.g. when my friend told me he bought a new car), Why did I feel jealous? (e.g. because I can’t afford a new car), What were the circumstances that it brought on? (e.g. my friend was talking about how fantastic it is), Do I experience jealousy in other situations? (e.g. Yes, I feel jealous when others seem to easily get what they want whereas I constantly struggle)
Expanding your self-awareness may seem easy but it’s not – the more complex the emotion, the harder it is to get through the layers leading to understanding yourself.
How does self-awareness develop? By looking for accurate information, one usually turns to an expert in whichever particular field. So who do you turn to to learn more about yourself? Who is the expert? In a nutshell, the expert is you. Researchers have found that inner dialogue – talking or posing questions to yourself – and imagery – using your mind’s eye to picture events – are key sources that lend to self-awareness.
Also, paying attention to your reflection in mirrors, seeing yourself on video recordings or in pictures, or hearing your voice on a tape recorder can shed light on particular aspects of yourself – the way you walk, the way you behave, the way you look.
A further, rich source of information can be found in the social environment. Family members, co-workers, lovers and friends provide us with varying degrees of feedback that can prompt us to think about ourselves. A non-verbal gesture, be it a frown or a look of approval and verbal responses like “You are so selfish” may very well instigate further self observation and awareness.
Apart from this, taking part in a conversation with people in your environment about aspects of yourself can also render greater awareness. This said, it has been proven that we have a tendency to readily accept rather non-important/positive feedback from others and to reject important/negative feedback.
Compare being told “You are so good-looking”, to “It’s really hard to talk to you”; for obvious reasons it is far easier to accept the former.
Coming into contact with individuals that have different value systems and ways of behaving is also good for self awareness, in that our personal concept of our self becomes more prominent.
The benefits to be reaped from developing self-awareness are plentiful, though what often happens is that we get too wrapped up in everyday life, leaving little time and energy to devote to becoming self-aware.
Sometimes self-awareness is avoided because of its potential to induce anxiety – especially when one becomes aware of issues that may have been pushed to the side and overlooked or even intentionally forgotten.
Apart from this, for some becoming more aware of the self is shunned because the importance and the end results of self awareness are not in actual fact understood.
Why is self awareness important? When you become aware of your experiences, the way you perceive things and how you really feel about things you are in a position to assess whether you’re okay with your experience or whether the experience interferes with your well-being.
Awareness paves the way for understanding and gives rise to the opportunity to work through things, possibly accepting or even changing aspects of yourself with which you are not completely comfortable with. Enhancing your self awareness additionally plays a very significant role in developing improved interpersonal relations. This is why self-awareness training programmes are incorporated in large business organisations.
Self awareness isn’t something which develops overnight and it isn’t something which has an ending, it can always be worked on. If we were to delve into becoming aware of our every passing thought or feeling, little time would be left for anything else. What’s important for us is to strive to expand our self-awareness to the best of our ability, concentrating on getting past the things that are most taxing on our well being.
This weekly column, written by Cherine Komatina (BSc in Psychology, currently MSc in Counselling Psychology, LMU (London Metropolitan University), seeks to explore individual and social issues; any questions or comments from readers are encouraged and welcomed. 24 Vass. Voulgaroctonou, P.O. Box 21144, 1502 Nicosia; Fax: 22-676385; e-mail: [email protected]. Please make any correspondence attention Health Page
