With St Andrew’s Day only a fortnight away, JILL CAMPBELL MACKAY catches up with the island’s resident bagpipe player
AN ELDERLY Scotsman lay dying in hospital in a far away land. He asked his doctor to grant him one final wish, and that was to hear for one last time the sound of the bagpipes. A piper was found, and he duly marched up and down the hospital corridor, playing his heart out. The next morning the old man was so invigorated, he rose, dressed himself, and went home. All the other patients were dead.
Now, that, of course, was an English joke, and sort of sums up the type of cross border digs fired off over hundreds of years in the direction of Scottish pipers.
One thing is abundantly clear: only true Scots have the correct genetic predisposition to fully appreciate the haunting lilt of the pipes, with non Celts literally queuing up to make fun of this ancient and much revered instrument.
Alfred Hitchcock, not exactly known as a laugh a minute sort of chap, had the cheek to say the following: “The inventor of the bagpipe was obviously inspired when he saw a man carrying an asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never quite equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig.”
If you think that observation was way below the Sporran line, what about this one from Oscar Wilde? During a dinner party, he was asked to define “what makes a true gentlemen?”. His answer: “Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes… but doesn’t.”
Well, for those timorous folk who thought that by coming to Cyprus they had escaped the sound of the Great Highland Pipe, then get your flight tickets booked now, for we have a young man who not only plays the pipes extraordinarily well, but is a jolly good rugby player, and comes from the ‘don’t-mess-with-me-or-my-bagpipes’ Scottish school of thought.
Richard Bond has been playing the pipes since he was four, and over the past 26 years has played with some of the world’s top pipe bands.
The bagpipe is a quite wonderful instrument, and despite the knocking attitude of some, has a fine history which goes back to the dawn of civilisation.
Mentioned in the bible, and by the Greek writer Dio Chrysostom, who in 100AD said of the Emperor Nero that, “he can play the ‘Avalos’ (pipes) with his mouth and also with the armpit, a bag being thrown under it”.
Contrary to common belief, the bagpipe was not born in Scotland, but in ancient Rome, and historians now believe the Roman infantry brought the instrument to Scotland when they tried (unsuccessfully) to conquer the wild northern Celts.
The bagpipe is far from easy to play, let alone master. It takes years of dedicated practice to achieve the piping level of Richard. It also requires regular playing, as pipes cannot be put away into storage and pulled out on a whim; they need to be tuned, they also need to be well cared for.
Indeed, a good set of pipes such as the unique ‘hand made by Granger and Campbell’ silver and ivory set that Richard owns, would today go at auction for around £4-5,000.
Due to the high levels of humidity in coastal areas of Cyprus, Richard has to resort to some rather extraordinary measures to ensure that his ‘bag’ does not retain excess moisture. That’s why he now plays his pipes here, with three packets of cat litter inserted into his bag – I know, I’ve fondled the bag and felt the granules.
When you understand how the pipes work, you can imagine the need for some absorbent material to mop up the saliva. The bag is always held under the left arm (only dead pipers have it inserted under the right armpit) and is then inflated by mouth through the blowpipe.
The bag then serves as a reservoir, and while taking a breath, air is provided to the pipes by squeezing the bag under the arm. The objective is to provide a steady uninterrupted flow of air to the melody, and drone pipes. Playing the pipes is not so much about lung power, more about the strength of the lip muscles. (That’s why saxophone, clarinet, and bagpipe players are all credited with being the very best kissers.)
Earlier this month, Richard was invited to play at an-all Cypriot engagement party. It’s a fair assumption that few of the Cypriot guests had ever been up close and personal with a Highland Piper, and if he had charged a pound for every photograph that was taken of him, Richard would have gone home a much richer man.
Faces displayed a combination of bemusement, and curiosity – especially when Richard started to tune up his instrument. Then, after a five minute blowing session, he was off, his kilt swinging as he walked up and down in front of the hotel entrance playing as he went the classic tune, ‘The Highland Wedding’.
The evening in the company of the Highland piper was not only memorable for the guests, it proved highly evocative for a group of Scottish tourists, who, when walking past the hotel, couldn’t quite believe their eyes or ears. Soon, the crowd swelled to include a bus load of camera-clicking Germans, and the usual request from some rather frisky French ladies who kept asking Richard “if he wore anything under his kilt”. “Only my socks and shoes madam,” he replied, like the true gentleman he is.
If you would like to have Richard play at your wedding, or at any other key celebrations then direct your requests to
Bagpipes
The Sunday Mail
24 Vass Voulgaroctonou
P.O.Box 21144
Nicosia
Fax- 22-676385
e-mail [email protected]
