WE BANANIOTS have always been an earthy people, and not just metaphorically speaking. We love the land. When it comes to acquiring land we turn instinctively ruthless, cruel, greedy, mercenary, dishonest and totally selfish. Families fall out, marriages break up, and friends stop speaking to each other over land disputes. Everyone wants to own as much real estate as possible, and they will stop at almost nothing when they see an opportunity to buy land.
This instinctive desire to own as much land as possible is part of the national psyche, if such a thing exists. It seems to reside in the deepest recesses of the Bananiot’s subconscious, requiring just a small trigger to surface and turn us into barbarians. Despite the luxurious houses, swimming pools, flash cars, designer clothes and holidays abroad, we so-called modern Bananiots remain peasants tied to the land at heart, just like our grandfathers. We are all, by instinct, lovers of real estate, even if we do not realise it.
Our love affair with plots of land was reaffirmed after the collapse of the bubble exchange, which caused so many people to lose their savings. We suddenly realised that our grandfathers had always been right and that the best and most secure place to invest our dosh was in land. No wonder that despite the current economic recession, demand for real estate has been unaffected, according to estate agents. Land is king and always will be.
This primal love of land-acquisition was brought home by the antics of Archbishop Chrysostomos’ relatives, which have been extensively reported in the past fortnight or so. The relatives were reportedly at it non-stop, using their family ties with the Archbishop to buy prime real estate at bargain prices and secure pay-backs for land-sales they set up. Such is their undiluted greed for land that one of Chrysostomos’ brothers has sued another brother because of a dispute over a plot of 133 donums in the Paphos district, which they had bought, believe it or not, from the church, back in 1973.
Such is the importance that Christianity attaches to brotherly love.
ANOTHER great land-lover, Public Service Commission President Andreas Karagiorgis, broke his silence this week. Karagiorgis, whose close friendship with the Archbishop enabled him to buy bargain-priced plots of land from the Church, decided to respond to press reports alleging that he had used his position to increase his personal wealth.
Could it have been a coincidence that the government decided to build roads, giving access to plots bought by Karagiorgis, in Ayia Napa and then in Moniatis? In Moniatis, the government even changed the zoning from agricultural to residential, shortly after Kara bought his plot. His response was short and to the point.
“I am a person who has served this country for 50 years, without accepting anything from anyone, not even a coffee.” All these great patriots who boast about serving the country never mention how much they get for it. Karagiorgis is on £46,000 per annum plus government car to serve his country — so he can afford to pay for his own skettos.
MEGA-WEALTHY GlobalSoft chairman Lykourgos Kyprianou has probably cancelled any plans he had to visit Manhattan this summer. With the US Federal authorities charging Lykourgos and his minions, Rois Poyadjis and M.C. Mathews, with insider trading, money laundering and securities fraud, it is doubtful he will be doing much travelling anywhere abroad in the foreseeable future.
He cannot be extradited from Cyprus to the US, but if he is spotted in any other country, the Yanks could put in an extradition request in order to get their man and bring him before a court of law. Lyk, former chief executive of Nasdaq-listed company AremisSoft, was last year charged, together with Poyadjis, by the US Securities and Exchange Commission with making some $250 million in secret sales of AremisSoft stock, while the company was calculatingly inflating revenue and forcing its share price up. US investigators also found that multi-million dollar acquisitions announced by the company were a sham.
You have to admire Lykourgos for his chutzpah. A year and a half ago, when all plantation share prices were tumbling, the GlobalSoft share was flying high (it reached £6 but is currently trading at 8 cents) and one awe-struck TV journalist asked him: “Mr Kyprianou, how have you managed, when all share prices are falling, for GlobalSoft to be rising?”
The cocky Kyp replied with the authority of a George Soros: “Because I even know how the American stock exchange operates.”
CONTRAST the rapid reaction of the US authorities to AremisSoft — nine months after the alleged dodgy dealings were uncovered charges have been brought against the company directors — with that of our own authorities. In December 2000, Politis reported that a company by the name of Easton Services Ltd had organised a share-support scheme for GlobalSoft stock (another trick of the trade Lykourgos may have picked up from the US).
Easton was signing purchase agreements with investors, by which the latter undertook not to sell their GlobalSoft shares, which were at the time trading for about £6, on the promise that by April the price would reach £7.80. If it did not, Easton undertook to make up the difference by giving GlobalSoft shares of an equivalent value to the investor. This case has been investigated by the Capital Markets Commission and the Attorney-general for the past 18 months, but nobody has been charged yet.
The Attorney-general’s office has a pretty lame excuse for doing nothing — the law of proof needs to be changed to facilitate prosecution cases, because as it is, it makes it almost impossible to get a prosecution in complex cases. But the legislature, half the members of which are practising lawyers, refuses to change the law. These are the same deputies who are beating their breasts because none of the crooks behind the great bubble exchange swindle have been put behind bars.
If the AG wanted to bring charges he would have done so under the existing law, even if there was a chance that the prosecution would lose case. But we forget that we live in a kleptocracy in which the law protects the ruling elite.
THE PUNISHMENT of people like Lykourgos and special cop Christoforos Tornaritis, whose companies are being investigated for alleged involvement in cigarette smuggling, is not dissimilar to that suffered by offenders during the halcyon days of Byzantium. Some Byzantine emperors made a habit of exiling offenders or their opponents to Cyprus.
Lyk and Torn have suffered a similar fate, even though they have not been found guilty of any offence. As Cypriot citizens they cannot be extradited for trial abroad, but if they do decide to visit a foreign country they will always face the risk of being nabbed and taken for trial to the country in which they are wanted. All those millions and they can’t go for a holiday beyond Paphos or Ayia Napa.
A YOUNG European diplomat seemed desperate for a leak as he queued outside the toilets during the Queen’s Birthday Party, held at the residence of the British High Commissioner a few weeks ago. The person in front of him, recognising that the man was in urgent need of release, suggested the bushes of the Residence’s gardens. The young diplomat said there was no way he would take such drastic action: “I did that at my last posting and they sent me to Cyprus. If I do it again they’ll send me to Burkina Faso.”
THE BIGGEST champion of Nicos Rolandis’ baby — the Aphrodite theme park off the Paphos coast — must be the Dias Group, owner of Sigma TV, Simerini, Radio Proto and a host of rags. All the organs of Papa Doc Zeus have been zealously campaigning for the construction of the park which has met with strong opposition by a host of different organisations as well many politicians.
It has been suggested that the group’s unstinting support for the project stems from the fact that the Sigma TV news boss is the brother of the UK-based architect who came up with the idea for the park. Then again, Zeus does own a hotel in Paphos and would stand to gain if the park did attract more tourists all the year round.
It has come to our attention that several politicians who have spoken out against the park in strong terms have suddenly fallen silent. Could this have anything to do with fears that publicly opposing the park might result in the deputies being starved of any publicity from the Zeus organs?
HARMONY and love eventually prevailed among the Greek and Turkish Bananiot workers assigned to fix Nicosia’s Venetian wall at Roccas Bastion near Paphos Gate. The stones that made up the wall had fallen down and had to be put back in place, but UNFICYP had quite a job trying to get the two sides to agree what part of the job each one would do.
First there was a dispute as to where the dividing line was. The UN suggested that this was at the top of the wall, where the Turks had put up a fence, thus implying that the wall was within the government-controlled area. The Turks, being Turks, would have none of it and insisted that half the wall was theirs — and therefore they should have the responsibility of fixing it. A compromise was agreed, whereby the Greek workers would fix the bottom half of the wall and the Turks the top half.
This arrangement did not last long, as another problem arose. The Turks working at the top of the wall kept spitting down at the Greeks, who got so irritated after a while that they downed tools and refused to work. A new round of negotiations followed. Both sides agreed that the working groups at the top and bottom of the wall should be ethnically mixed, the spitting stopped, and work is under way again. Until a Greek worker starts breaking wind close to a Turk, that is.
ALL SORTS of groups from the two communities have from time to time tried to engage in rapprochement and confidence-building through social meetings, special conferences and parties, but none of these efforts has lasted. For instance, there have been bi-communal groups of feminists, businessmen, old English School students, electricians, trade unionists, plumbers, journalists, intellectuals, and halloumi-makers, but with the exception of the businessmen nothing of note is ever achieved.
Hearing all the alarmist nonsense to mark the World Day Against Drugs on Wednesday, it occurred to me that we have never had a hashish-smokers’ rapprochement group, which is guranteed to be a success because members of both communities would have a vested interest in participating. The Turks would provide the hashish as it is easier to come by on their side, and the Greeks would pay for it and be able to smoke it during the meetings without fear of being arrested, as it would be part of confidence-building. The fact that the participants would be young would also mean that such a group would be building a better future.
INMATES of Nicosia Central Prison might object to such a ground-breaking move as they are dead against drugs. For the second year running, they left their cells and marched to the House of Representatives, together with university students, holding placards bearing the immortal slogan “In prison I feel free, I do not take drugs”. As prison is so successful in stopping drug addiction, should we not give up establishing expensive detox centres for addicts and build more prisons instead?
Top anti-drug crusader, the dour Dr Veresies, thanked the prisoners (not for their crimes) and noted that their initiative was unique. Nothing similar has taken place anywhere else in the world, he said, and it is not difficult to figure out why.
The best explanation for the allegedly widespread use of drugs was given by the AKEL youth wing EDON in an announcement to mark the day. “The spread of drugs is linked to the general advance of commercialisation brought about by the capitalist relations of production.”
EMPLOYEES of Nicosia Municipality were not impressed with the latest grandiose project undertaken by Mayor Michael Zampelas who, according to most accounts, has taken to his new job like a fish to land. The mayor seems to prefer to deal with office matters, one of his first decisions being to make male office staff wear a tie to work.
His latest radical initiative at the Municipality was to rearrange the allocation of office space. He wanted the office clerks who were sitting around at the reception area to be moved to the back of the building, so visitors would not see them sitting doing nothing. This meant he had to empty an office for them and move those who were in that office to other rooms. Now the reception is clerk-free, but the other offices have become a bit overcrowded, with staff moaning and wondering what other plans the office mayor has.
HIS PREDECESSOR, Lellos Demetriades, appears not to have overcome the sense of emptiness and futility that afflicts all high-profile public officials after they step down from a public post. But since his departure Lellos has been plotting a comeback in some guise. Even before Zampelas took over, Lellos was trying to persuade el presidente and his advisers to create a Commissioner for Local Authorities, who would handle EU harmonisation with regard to local government. He had even found the ideal person for such a job — himself — and volunteered to work at no charge.
The government did not exactly warm to the idea, but the former mayor has not given up the struggle for his return to the public domain, only changed tactics. He has got three mayors he has good relations with, including his protégé Zampelas, to propose the creation of this post via the Union Of Municipalities. Once the Union officially demands the creation of such a post it will be more difficult for the government to ignore Lellos’ wishes. If he has such an all-consuming desire to serve the public, why did he not stand for re-election?
OUR MINISTER of Education, Ouranios Ioannides, we are happy to report, has finally found a job he can do quite competently — that of television football commentator. On Wednesday afternoon he was on the phone analysing the World Cup semi-final between Brazil and Turkey for CyBC TV, and he spoke with a lot more authority about the match than he does about educational matters. Does this mean that one day Andreas Poyadjis, the CyBC’s cult commentator with the goofy face, could become minister of education?
Meanwhile, I do not know if Akelites were backing Turkey, but the name of the Turkish right back was Fatih Akyel. His grandfather may have been a Turkish Cypriot communist.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
On when people say life is short: “What the f**? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f***ing does! What can you do that’s longer?”
Barry Flynn
The Cyprus Mail is the only English-language daily newspaper published in Cyprus. It was established in 1945 and today, with its popular and widely-read website, the Cyprus Mail is among the most trusted news sites in Cyprus. The newspaper is not affiliated with any political parties and has always striven to maintain its independence. Over the past 70-plus years, the Cyprus Mail, with a small dedicated team, has covered momentous events in Cyprus’ modern history, chronicling the last gasps of British colonial rule, Cyprus’ truncated independence, the coup and Turkish invasion, and the decades of negotiations to stitch the divided island back together, plus a myriad of scandals, murders, and human interests stories that capture the island and its -people. Observers describe it as politically conservative.
