By Patroclos
HOW SYMBOLIC that in the very week that our plantation put on parade its military might, it was asked by the US of A to help out in the war on terrorism. At least the world superpower has noticed that we have become a regional power not to be toyed with, so let nobody claim ever again that our independence day parade is a futile exercise in empty military posturing.
If the US decided,after Monday’s display that it wants us on its side, then the parade was not in vain. Admittedly, we were not asked to send our tanks, jeeps and newly acquired artillery systems to Afghanistan, but the Americans did ask permission for landing rights at our airports and the use of our airspace, which is pretty important. After seeing the parade and our awesome anti-aircraft capability, they were reassured that we could provide safe skies for the US Air Force.
Our government responded positively to the request, without hesitation, although confusion remains over whether we also offered the use of the Andreas Papandreou air base in Paphos — the only air base in the world that does not feature aircraft. As we have no use for it, the US Air Force might as well station some of its fighter jets there.
Who knows, American generals might like the Paphos climate and want to lease it long-term, in which case we might eventually get a reasonable return on our ill-conceived investment.
EVEN our Presidente Communista de la Casa de Representarios, Commissar Christofias, did not voice strong objections to the government decision (although he did protest, like all the other party chieftains, because he had not been briefed beforehand). As if the government had an obligation to brief the party warlords before exercising its constitutional right to make a decision.
The decision was a double snub for the big-headed commissar. It showed that Defence Minister Socratis Hasikos was indeed expressing government policy in declaring that facilities would be given to the Americans if they requested them, and the Commissar had no business reprimanding him publicly for doing so. His demand that such a US request should be discussed at the National Council was also ignored.
Earlier in the week, Christofias denied that he had demanded the sacking of Hasikos over the issue, at the last National Council meeting. What he did not deny was that he had raised the issue at the meeting and demanded an apology from the upstart Hasikos. When he realised that this was not forthcoming he lost his temper, shouting and banging his fists on the table like a demented dictator, promising that he would not let the matter go. As acting presidente, it was his constitutional right to tell ministers what to do, when el presidente was abroad, and he intended to exercise it to the full.
The guy has lost it completely. Hasikos would do well to keep a low profile the next time his boss is abroad, because the Commissar might try to exercise his constitutional rights as acting presidente and sack him.
MONDAY’S military parade was, as it is every year, described as ” imposing” by everyone from newspaper reporters to politicians. I do not know why nobody can think of another adjective to describe our military parade, but we seem stuck for words when it comes to expressing our feelings about weaponry.
As a contribution to enriching the public vocabulary of the parade, we have taken the liberty of proposing some new adjectives for use after next year’s show of military might: awe-inspiring, awesome, spine-tingling, majestic, grand, exalted, magnificent (it’s amazing how helpful a PC’s word thesaurus can be…), striking, kick-ass, cool, mean, fantastic, far-out, fear-inducing, spectacular and nice are just a few. I admit that not all these adjectives have a Greek equivalent, but then again Greek is a very rich language which offers dozens more adjectives than epivlitiki .
The only sensible view expressed after the parade was by the National Guard Chief, General Florakis, who assured people that ” the objective of the armed forces is the best possible utilisation of the capabilities of the weapons systems made available by the Cypriot people” .
Compare this with the rest of the rhetoric about ” strong defence” and ” military deterence” , uttered by the other grandees attending the parade. Take, for instance, el presidente’s assertion that the ” armed forces of the Cyprus Republic gave a truly impressive show of military readiness as well as military deterrence, and of the Cyprus Republic’s power to face any threat.” Nobody asked if this included the threat of nuclear or biochemical attack, given that we have only 1,500 gas masks.
As for the military readiness displayed on Monday, that was for managing to march in a straight line.
EL PRESIDENTE , in his role as Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces, at least gave the TV military analysts something real to talk about after the parade with his remark that ” You have not seen all our weapon systems, but you saw what we wanted to show you.” The remark wrong-footed the military experts as well as many politicians, who spent the entire post-parade debates discussing whether Clerides was being serious or not.
Two schools of thought developed — one claimed that el presidente, a well-known joker, was merely teasing journalists with old-fashioned bluffing (another favourite technique of his), while the other school insisted he was being entirely serious and that the National Guard had some very powerful military hardware in its arsenal that it could not put on display, lest the Turks found out about them and began issuing threats like they did in the case of the deployment of the Estragosha missiles.
When el prez was talking about the ” Republic’s power to face any threat” he was presumably not referring to the crude Turkish-style tactics that resulted in the Estragoshas being taken to Crete. If, on the other hand, Clerides was not joking when he said we can now ” face any threat” , those Estragosha babies should be on a boat on their way back to the plantation, if they are not here already. Perhaps it was these missiles he did not want to show us at the parade?
Either that, or we have developed nuclear capability, which as we all know cannot go on parade, but I wouldn’t go on the streets celebrating about it quite yet. The remark could have been a classic ‘Cleridic bluff’, exemplified by assertions such as ” the Estragoshas are definitely coming to Cyprus” , or ” I will not be standing for a second term” .
Which raises another question: do we have ” the power to face any threat” or was that a Cleridic bluff as well?
A MAJOR new acquisition of the National Guard shown to the public for the first time on Monday was, according to one newspaper, the silencers seen on the Belgian-made P-90 rifles used by our commandos. With the ‘most modern rifles used by special forces world-wide’ now fitted with silencers, claims about ” strengthening our deterrent” no longer have a hollow ring.
A case of scraping the bottom of the barrel? At least the silencers had been bought. But what excuse did the government have for flying generalissimo Ttooulis’ favourite fire-fighting helicopter during the parade? The Russian government gave us the M1-26 helicopter on loan for a three-month trial period, and our government put it on display in the parade. The chopper, which we have not decided to buy yet (despite it getting the thumbs up from el presidente), still had the emblem of the Russian Federation painted on it. Maybe next year we can hire a couple of fighter jets from them as well.
WHAT really lets our military parades down every year is their complete lack of menace and threat. It might be ” imposing” , but that would make it a tourist attraction rather than a military deterrent. The real problem is that it is not intimidating — it would frighten nobody — not so much because of the military hardware on display but because of the grandees taking the salute.
Watching parades in authoritarian regimes such as Iraq, Turkey and the former Soviet Union you only had to look at the mean and nasty-looking types taking the salute to know that, under them, the armed forces being shown could cause some big-time death and destruction. These sinister generals and hard-nosed dictators on the podium were so menacing, it would not matter if the soldiers were parading on donkeys, and brandishing bows and arrows.
Then you see the podium of our October 1 parade and realise that our leaders carry about as much menace as a slaughtered sheep. El presidente, his defence minister and the National Guard chief look as capable of spreading fear and panic as a bunch of Easter bunnies.
If our military parades are to intimidate anyone and act as a real deterrent, we need some real nasties taking the salute on the podium. From next year, we would like to suggest that Generalissimo Christodoulos and the DISY Führer take the salute. At least they have the looks to inspire fear in anyone — especially citizens of this plantation.
THE CHAIRMAN of GlobalSoft, Lykourgos Kyprianou, has done the plantation proud in the financial markets of New York. Lyk and his sidekick Rois Poyadjis, both former directors of AremisSoft, which was suspended from the Nasdaq in August, have been accused of being involved in what the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has described as ” one of the largest financial frauds in history” .
According to the 32-page report compiled by the SEC, Kyprianou and Poyadjis used false financial statements to inflate the price of AremisSoft’s stock and then sold millions of AremisSoft shares to unwitting investors.
You have to feel a bit of sympathy for Kyprianou, because when he followed exactly the same practices in Cyprus he was celebrated as a shrewd businessman. And to be fair he was not the only one to resort to such a practice. A large number of companies listed in the plantation’s bubble exchange routinely used false financial statements to inflate the price of their stock, which directors then sold millions of to unwitting investors. The price of all these shares subsequently collapsed, but directors kept the dosh.
There are several instructive lessons for us Bananiots from this case. First, unwitting investors are not exclusive to our plantation but also exist in advanced economies; second, the plantation’s laws are not the same as those of the US; third, some countries enforce the laws; fourth, falsifying accounts is considered an offence outside the plantation; fifth, Lyk will probably not be holidaying in the US in the foreseeable future.
COMMIE paper Haravghi has made a big issue out of the fact that Attorney-general Alecos Markides refuses to leave the senior Counsel of the Republic Akis Papasavvas in charge of the State’s Legal Services when he and his assistant are abroad. Papasavvas is the longest serving counsel, and hierarchically speaking, the next in line. But only a complete lunatic would leave him in charge of the Legal Services for five minutes, let alone three days.
You only have to peruse the prose Papasavvas writes every Monday in his column in Haravghi to realise that Markides is acting in the public interest. Apart from displaying a worrying Makarios fixation, the white-haired counsel uses his weekly column for one reason — to abuse his boss Markides and el presidente, routinely accusing them of criminal behaviour and of usurping power. That the guy still has a state job is a miracle.
Yet Haravghi accused Markides of ” arbitrary” behaviour and having an ” unacceptable stance towards the courageous counsel” . If an employee at the House,wrote as abusively about Commissar Christofias, would Haravghi describe him as courageous? No. They would be demanding that he be sacked for showing disrespect to a senior state official.
But in the end, Markides is a victim of his own timidity and desire to be on good terms with everyone, ahead of the presidential elections. An Attorney-general who tolerates being publicly pilloried by one of his subordinates, on a weekly basis, deserves little sympathy. Most theories suggest that Markides has avoided taking steps for the dismissal of Papasavvas because he fears a backlash from his friends at AKEL.
WE ALL expected the commies to savage el presidente for the deal he reached with the pseudo-plantation in the north to exchange Panikos Tsiakourmas with convicted Turkish Cypriot heroin dealer Omer Tekogul. Tekogul was released 10 days ago, after serving six months of his 10-year sentence.
It was clear that a deal had been done despite our government’s denials, yet the leading opposition party, AKEL and its mouthpiece, said nothing about this government cop-out. AKEL and Haravghi, that constantly slam the government for not being tough on drug dealers, had nothing to say when Tekogul was released.
From what we hear, AKEL was privy to deal as Tsiakourmas is a loyal AKEL supporter whom the party wanted released at all costs — even if this meant releasing a man found guilty of dealing in heroin. The commies promised the government that they would not make a fuss if there was an exchange deal.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
” Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
Ed Gardner
The Cyprus Mail is the only English-language daily newspaper published in Cyprus. It was established in 1945 and today, with its popular and widely-read website, the Cyprus Mail is among the most trusted news sites in Cyprus. The newspaper is not affiliated with any political parties and has always striven to maintain its independence. Over the past 70-plus years, the Cyprus Mail, with a small dedicated team, has covered momentous events in Cyprus’ modern history, chronicling the last gasps of British colonial rule, Cyprus’ truncated independence, the coup and Turkish invasion, and the decades of negotiations to stitch the divided island back together, plus a myriad of scandals, murders, and human interests stories that capture the island and its -people. Observers describe it as politically conservative.
